The Student Room Group

Not fitting in med school

ANON here as I cant post anon in med form

background: got severely ill 1 week before starting med school on top of chronic illness causing me to miss 2 weeks of med school. still not really better. at this point everyone had already made cliques/friends.

current situation: complete loner in my year lol. I am still in process of investigation by hospital. I already had meeting with sub dean of year and had to diplomatically state that I was aware that if its going to take too long to recover I have to leave and restart next year. That's what they were hinting at anyway.

so.. I guess I don't see the point in being friendly cos I feel pathetic ill have to leave probably. But its quite hard being a loner but I don't have a choice. I do feel pathetic being a loner though. I come from a working background. feel like I should just leave and go back into work..

iv always had issues though with making friends. think I'm meant to endure this world as a solider.

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Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
ANON here as I cant post anon in med form

background: got severely ill 1 week before starting med school on top of chronic illness causing me to miss 2 weeks of med school. still not really better. at this point everyone had already made cliques/friends.

current situation: complete loner in my year lol. I am still in process of investigation by hospital. I already had meeting with sub dean of year and had to diplomatically state that I was aware that if its going to take too long to recover I have to leave and restart next year. That's what they were hinting at anyway.

so.. I guess I don't see the point in being friendly cos I feel pathetic ill have to leave probably. But its quite hard being a loner but I don't have a choice. I do feel pathetic being a loner though. I come from a working background. feel like I should just leave and go back into work..

iv always had issues though with making friends. think I'm meant to endure this world as a solider.


Sorry you've had such a rough start to your uni experience. It must be hard to try to get to grips with the whole med school thing, whilst dealing with a significant illness.

However, don't get too put off by "cliques" having formed - remember these people have only known each other a couple of weeks! Some might not be friendly, but others will be, and if you put yourself out there a bit and try to get involved, hopefully you'll find some friends. Don't be paranoid about your "working background," most people really don't care about that sort of thing.

If it does turn out that you have to repeat the year, it'll be a shame, but don't feel that you can't do it. Best of luck!
Original post by Anonymous
feel like I should just leave and go back into work..


While I sympathise, I strongly advise against this if you think you can get past this and want to train as a doctor in the UK. It's the policy of most medical schools to not accept people who've previously dropped out of a medicine or other degree course at another university. I don't know the reasoning behind it but that's the view taken by most medical schools so, unless you really cannot find a solution to your social problems, I'd advise against dropping out.

You need to remember that medicine is the most competitive course in the country and that you're quite privileged to be studying it -- for every person that did make it into whichever medical school you're at, there are guaranteed to be five or six (and frequently more) others who were rejected. That's not the sort of thing you should consider throwing away after a rough week or two. Just relax, go out, try to be sociable and take an interest in other people's lives, and see what happens then. Good luck. :smile:
Reply 3
Original post by Hydeman
While I sympathise, I strongly advise against this if you think you can get past this and want to train as a doctor in the UK. It's the policy of most medical schools to not accept people who've previously dropped out of a medicine or other degree course at another university. I don't know the reasoning behind it but that's the view taken by most medical schools so, unless you really cannot find a solution to your social problems, I'd advise against dropping out.

You need to remember that medicine is the most competitive course in the country and that you're quite privileged to be studying it -- for every person that did make it into whichever medical school you're at, there are guaranteed to be five or six (and frequently more) others who were rejected. That's not the sort of thing you should consider throwing away after a rough week or two. Just relax, go out, try to be sociable and take an interest in other people's lives, and see what happens then. Good luck. :smile:


Thanks for your feedback. No I meant that maybe I was meant to leave this year cos of my illness, get better work more and return next year. (iv been told I can restart next year cos of my circumstances).
obviously I am hoping I make some MIRACOULOUS recovery.. I'm still trying even though its super hard cos my illness gives me great pain/discomfort/distraction..

I think iv been in uni for 5 weeks now. I have tried stuff but I got more ill and its restricting what I CAN do. I'm waiting for a consultant appointment atm...

so its been 5 weeks and its very clique like... find people outside medicine more friendly and normal really.

I'm more of a patient atm rather than a medical student/student doctor. I'm paranoid that the staff aren't liking that. But only time will tell what is meant to happen..

the only reason that sometimes I doubt medicine is because doctors have treated me like **** for the past few years especially this year.. fobbing me off.. the nhs has robbed me of time. sometimes I feel like why should I pursue this career after the way they treat me. But I only hang on in the hope that when I better I can give people hope that there are doctors that care about them.. know what they are going through and want to help them get better..
Original post by Anonymous
so its been 5 weeks and its very clique like... find people outside medicine more friendly and normal really.

I'm more of a patient atm rather than a medical student/student doctor. I'm paranoid that the staff aren't liking that. But only time will tell what is meant to happen..


You shouldn't be restricting yourself to people studying on the same course as you. If you find that you get on better with students studying other subjects, you should pursue those friendships. :smile:

the only reason that sometimes I doubt medicine is because doctors have treated me like **** for the past few years especially this year.. fobbing me off.. the nhs has robbed me of time. sometimes I feel like why should I pursue this career after the way they treat me. But I only hang on in the hope that when I better I can give people hope that there are doctors that care about them.. know what they are going through and want to help them get better..


This, unfortunately, is the reality of the NHS. There's little money and there's little time and doctors have to meet arbitrary quotas and targets. Honestly, if you're this affected by it, then dropping out might be a more appealing option, purely because it's unlikely that this is going to get better as you grow older. If you practice medicine within the NHS, you'll have to put up with the same constraints that your own doctors currently put up with and the only real way to avoid doing that is to not become a doctor in the first place.

Sorry if that sounds damning but it's really not worth doing medicine if you're not willing for a long, hard grind of a job that's becoming more demanding with time, not less.
Reply 5
Original post by Hydeman
You shouldn't be restricting yourself to people studying on the same course as you. If you find that you get on better with students studying other subjects, you should pursue those friendships. :smile:



This, unfortunately, is the reality of the NHS. There's little money and there's little time and doctors have to meet arbitrary quotas and targets. Honestly, if you're this affected by it, then dropping out might be a more appealing option, purely because it's unlikely that this is going to get better as you grow older. If you practice medicine within the NHS, you'll have to put up with the same constraints that your own doctors currently put up with and the only real way to avoid doing that is to not become a doctor in the first place.

Sorry if that sounds damning but it's really not worth doing medicine if you're not willing for a long, hard grind of a job that's becoming more demanding with time, not less.


I'm not giving up lol. I already have experience of being in a job where I have pressure/time constraints/targets yet I'm not allowed to treat px's like CRAP no matter how pressurised I am. I still have to figure their problems out and manage them.

yeah I feel like crap I'm entitled too iv had the worst year of my life and the worst start to med school. I know you cant get too emotional in this job. I'm allowed and entitled to feel emotional about my own situation.

and ps my doctors have been negligent as they missed something obvious .. it took 8 months moving to an new area.. to spot it! and that isn't down to targets etc.. its called not listening to your patient!
Original post by Anonymous
I'm not giving up lol. I already have experience of being in a job where I have pressure/time constraints/targets yet I'm not allowed to treat px's like CRAP no matter how pressurised I am. I still have to figure their problems out and manage them.

yeah I feel like crap I'm entitled too iv had the worst year of my life and the worst start to med school. I know you cant get too emotional in this job. I'm allowed and entitled to feel emotional about my own situation.

and ps my doctors have been negligent as they missed something obvious .. it took 8 months moving to an new area.. to spot it! and that isn't down to targets etc.. its called not listening to your patient!


In that case, you always have the option of filing a complaint. :dontknow:
Reply 7
Original post by Hydeman
In that case, you always have the option of filing a complaint. :dontknow:


Yeah. at the moment I'm focusing on getting better..

that will happen when I'm fully better and things are stable and settled.
Original post by Hydeman
You shouldn't be restricting yourself to people studying on the same course as you. If you find that you get on better with students studying other subjects, you should pursue those friendships. :smile:



This, unfortunately, is the reality of the NHS. There's little money and there's little time and doctors have to meet arbitrary quotas and targets. Honestly, if you're this affected by it, then dropping out might be a more appealing option, purely because it's unlikely that this is going to get better as you grow older. If you practice medicine within the NHS, you'll have to put up with the same constraints that your own doctors currently put up with and the only real way to avoid doing that is to not become a doctor in the first place.

Sorry if that sounds damning but it's really not worth doing medicine if you're not willing for a long, hard grind of a job that's becoming more demanding with time, not less.


I don't think OP is going to drop out. What OP is saying is the uni will allow the OP to restart the course next year if OP has to.
Original post by deathbeforeimmortality
I don't think OP is going to drop out. What OP is saying is the uni will allow the OP to restart the course next year if OP has to.


If that's an option, then he/she should consider it. I just felt it important to point out that dropping out, when it comes to medicine, isn't a simple choice to make if you ever intend on getting back into medicine in the UK. I also only said he should consider it because he/she does sounded like she hated the way the NHS works at present and it's doubtful that it's going to get better over time.

But yeah, if he/she has an arrangement with the university, then I'd recommend they go for that.
Original post by Hydeman
If that's an option, then he/she should consider it. I just felt it important to point out that dropping out, when it comes to medicine, isn't a simple choice to make if you ever intend on getting back into medicine in the UK. I also only said he should consider it because he/she does sounded like she hated the way the NHS works at present and it's doubtful that it's going to get better over time.

But yeah, if he/she has an arrangement with the university, then I'd recommend they go for that.




I'm a female. we tend to be more emotional hence we vent...
I'm allowed to feel sorry for myself lol. I'm a human being first.
will see what happens. hope I get better and can do this year. if not, mentally prepared for next year I guess.

I guess in all, being a loner isn't a big deal as other things need to be fixed which cause far greater distress.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a female. we tend to be more emotional hence we vent...
I'm allowed to feel sorry for myself lol. I'm a human being first.
will see what happens. hope I get better and can do this year. if not, mentally prepared for next year I guess.

I guess in all, being a loner isn't a big deal as other things need to be fixed which cause far greater distress.


Of course you're allowed to feel sorry for yourself. :rolleyes: I didn't say you weren't.

Good luck with your recovery.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a female. we tend to be more emotional hence we vent...
I'm allowed to feel sorry for myself lol. I'm a human being first.
will see what happens. hope I get better and can do this year. if not, mentally prepared for next year I guess.

I guess in all, being a loner isn't a big deal as other things need to be fixed which cause far greater distress.

You don't need to be a loner. And finding friends is probably useful for helping you get through both your current illness and med school in general. They don't have to be medic friends - most of my closest friends for the first few years were non-medics. Are there any societies which aren't too strenuous which you could try to join?

Good luck with it all, both your health and uni!
Original post by Helenia
You don't need to be a loner. And finding friends is probably useful for helping you get through both your current illness and med school in general. They don't have to be medic friends - most of my closest friends for the first few years were non-medics. Are there any societies which aren't too strenuous which you could try to join?

Good luck with it all, both your health and uni!



can't believe I found my thread. I'm going to recycle this. I passed first year inspite of all my health issues. this year I return in worse health and guess what still a LONER haha
Original post by Anonymous
can't believe I found my thread. I'm going to recycle this. I passed first year inspite of all my health issues. this year I return in worse health and guess what still a LONER haha


Well done! I'm happy for you. :smile:

(Reading back, I think I came across a little harsh, so I apologise. It wasn't intentional. :colondollar:)
Original post by Foo.mp3
Well done, although one has to wonder whether it wouldn't be better to suspend, unless there is a realistic prospect of near-term improvement (speaking as someone who spent many years battling through university/struggled with biomed research, in the context of two [somewhat interrelated] highly intrusive chronic health conditions) :innocent:


Yes I think you've suffered with Chronic fatigue syndrome for a while and obviously has impacted upon your studies..

well, even if I was home for a year whilst trying to sort myself out, it would still take time and the stress of thinking about my condition every single day might make me worse.. not that its easy doing med school on your own in a situation as mine..

I'm here just pushing myself as much as possible, and its only if something serious happened then I would have to leave this year and start again next year.

not that I'm not trying whatever I can to improve my health including taking medications which iv always refused in the past.. :P
Original post by Foo.mp3
Well done, although one has to wonder whether it wouldn't be better to suspend, unless there is a realistic prospect of near-term improvement (speaking as someone who spent many years battling through university/struggled with biomed research, in the context of two [somewhat interrelated] highly intrusive chronic health conditions) :innocent:


you'd be surprised on my course actually - there are people with some serious chronic conditions that have periods of remission and flares - I guess they are determined ONE day they will get there - I think you can have a chronic condition as long as its under control..
I would have thought the pace of medicine was such that any further absence is going to make it very difficult to continue in this cohort. *If your health*is a problem, then surely it would be better to fix that and return fresh and fighting fit next year. *So long as there aren't any funding difficulties and you can survive the year out socially and practically, of course.
Original post by Reality Check
I would have thought the pace of medicine was such that any further absence is going to make it very difficult to continue in this cohort. *If your health*is a problem, then surely it would be better to fix that and return fresh and fighting fit next year. *So long as there aren't any funding difficulties and you can survive the year out socially and practically, of course.


well I'm sort of getting better on medication and I'm going to uni everyday atm..

I did the same thing last year - did med school in *****y circumstances and I'm glad I did -
and yes finances are sort of an issue - and other stuff - I am being active with doctors about getting better - unfortunately that takes time - so I'm killing time at uni cos its sort of a distraction for me - I know in the summer when suddenly my health went worse - being at home thinking about my condition made things a LOT more worse than they are now so that's why I can't afford to be home for a year no matter how hard medicine is

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