Flatmate's sex noises make me feel down

The guy in the room next to me has a girl around usually on Friday and Saturday nights and they have really loud sex all weekend and I find it really offputting, and impossible to get anything done. If I'm honest it makes me feel insecure and like a loser for some reason. I don't want to make a noise in my room as I feel like I'm invading their fun time. It seems like they are casual but I could be wrong.

I'm female and I recently got myself a boyfriend but I'm not ready to have sex with him or for him to stay the night. However their noises are making me feel like inviting my boyfriend over so I won't feel lonely. I know it sounds pathetic... What should I do?

(anon please)

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

If it makes any difference I don't know the guy very well. We just bump into each other occassionally and say hello that's it. I don't find him physically attractive.

Reply 2

Bupdeeboowah

3

Original post by Anonymous

The guy in the room next to me has a girl around usually on Friday and Saturday nights and they have really loud sex all weekend and I find it really offputting, and impossible to get anything done. If I'm honest it makes me feel insecure and like a loser for some reason. I don't want to make a noise in my room as I feel like I'm invading their fun time. It seems like they are casual but I could be wrong.

I'm female and I recently got myself a boyfriend but I'm not ready to have sex with him or for him to stay the night. However their noises are making me feel like inviting my boyfriend over so I won't feel lonely. I know it sounds pathetic... What should I do?

(anon please)

Just be straightforward tell him to keep it down, that you find it disturbing. If he doesn't change or acts hostilely, complain to your hall management.

You're not a loser or pathetic for not having sex, and you're not invading their fun time. You are in fact a winner for choosing when you want to engage in sex and not bowing down to peer pressure. Also, they're invading your privacy with all the noise they are making.

Reply 3

Twinpeaks

18

I don't really understand why that would make you feel like a loser?

I just don't get the link.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Twinpeaks

I don't really understand why that would make you feel like a loser?

I just don't get the link.

I'm not sure... It could be jealousy? It makes me feel undesirable for some reason and like I could never live up to that... I mean I have a boyfriend and I'm sure he wants to sleep with me lol but I don't think I could be swinging off of chandeliers like that...

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Bupdeeboowah

Just be straightforward tell him to keep it down, that you find it disturbing. If he doesn't change or acts hostilely, complain to your hall management.

You're not a loser or pathetic for not having sex, and you're not invading their fun time. You are in fact a winner for choosing when you want to engage in sex and not bowing down to peer pressure. Also, they're invading your privacy with all the noise they are making.

Yeah it's so awkward they say it is part of halls life but it makes me feel uncomfortable honestly sometimes I cry it's unbearable. Yes I best figure out a way how to say something to him! I don't see why they can't go to her room (she lives in the same block).

Reply 6

sparklenshine

6

so? at least you have a boyfriend

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by sparklenshine

so? at least you have a boyfriend

If it's any comfort sparklenshine (I have seen you posts before) I asked him out on a date first and later he asked me to be his girlfriend. I didn't get my first boyfriend until I was 22 and I asked him out as well. If I had never have had the courage to let guys know I was interested I would never have had a boyfriend and I'm 26 now. So I urge you to make the first move sometimes. Rejection is better than loneliness.

Reply 8

sparklenshine

6

Original post by Anonymous

If it's any comfort sparklenshine (I have seen you posts before) I asked him out on a date first and later he asked me to be his girlfriend. I didn't get my first boyfriend until I was 22 and I asked him out as well. If I had never have had the courage to let guys know I was interested I would never have had a boyfriend and I'm 26 now. So I urge you to make the first move sometimes. Rejection is better than loneliness.

That's nice..why did you choose to ask them out? Why didn't you wait?? Weren't you afraid they would lead you on until they found someone else? Guys do this often..

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by sparklenshine

That's nice..why did you choose to ask them out? Why didn't you wait?? Weren't you afraid they would lead you on until they found someone else? Guys do this often..

Okay let me tell you something. If that really is you in your pics.. You are pretty and have a nice body, lovely hair etc. And guess that most guys are going to think that they don't have a shot with you and won't ask you out. Especially in London (I was also a London student)!! And given your circle as well of physics students and I'm guessing having social anxiety (I read on your prior post) you don't go outside of this circle much therefore you have quite a narrow view of what men think of you. Those guys in your lab or whatever are probably terrified of women. I was a chemistry undergrad and most of the guys were awkward and the ones that weren't had girlfriends already. I basically got bored of sitting around and looking pretty waiting for guys to come to me... The irony was the prettier I made myself the less likely it was that I would get asked out. You know for yourself that is the plainer girls that get all the guys. So at 22 I knew exactly what I wanted and I was no longer afraid to get it. Sweetie, life is too short. You are gorgeous and I don't think you will get rejected. It's the 21st century and you are allowed to make the first move. You don't have to be blatant you can just be like 'I think we would get along well, we should meet up sometime' or something like that rather than 'I like you/go out with me'. Both my boyfriends thought they would never have had a shot with me and I think a lot of the guys you know probably feel the same and your social anxiety stops you from meeting guys outside of that environment. Also in London (esp. central) guys are not going to approach you on the train/street as it's taboo enough there to even look someone in the eye let alone talk to them. People are also in a mad rush and don't want to be disturbed.

Reply 10

Zarek

21

Get down the business with your bf, fight fire with fire, you'll fell a lot better for it I guarantee..

Reply 11

holmes221

18

What you have a bf I dont get what you are insecure about

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by holmes221

What you have a bf I dont get what you are insecure about

I think I'm scared that I can never perform like they do :frown:

Reply 13

DiddyDec01

3

Try playing music to drown out the sound and more importantly put them off. I had the same sort of issue with one my housemates when ever his girlfriend was round.

I suggest R Kelly - Bump N' Grind.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by DiddyDec

Try playing music to drown out the sound and more importantly put them off. I had the same sort of issue with one my housemates when ever his girlfriend was round.

I suggest R Kelly - Bump N' Grind.

I tried playing music but they just get on with it and top the noise! I hadn't thought about putting offputting songs on though :biggrin:

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Zarek

Get down the business with your bf, fight fire with fire, you'll fell a lot better for it I guarantee..

Even if we did I don't think I can compete with her screaming, it's so OTT even if you were having the time of your life!

Reply 16

TheCitizenAct

2

It often makes you feel better when you hear similar experiences to your own, which are invariably worse.

1. I had sex with a flatmate once. We were both drunk. We'd been talking around the issue and flirting for weeks and eventually, one night, we just did it. It was fun. Then the awkwardness kicked in. I liked her more than she liked me; I didn't want to date her but I wanted it to carry on and see what happened. She didn't want to go there with a flatmate again. A week later, same situation (I was more drunk than she was), we did it again and then, the following day, even more awkwardness.

After enduring this for about two weeks, unsure of where I stood, she brought home a mate of mine - who didn't know anything about what had happened between us - and she went upstairs with him. They had sex. I know it was him. Her room was right above mine, springs bouncing, restrained groans, the works...needless to say, I moved out a few weeks later.

2. Another old flatmate, different house. Cow noises. No, seriously. The guy was a mentalist; we'd had a few arguments in the past, however this was taking the piss. They'd actually make animal noises while having sex - you'd hear everything. It went on until about 1am in the morning.

Reply 17

Himo2013

let's think logically . This is the nature !! wind , water , soil have sound. what I try to say. We are nothing without sound. If they make sound just let them have and enjoy their moments. you may ask me how you can avoid the noise. I would say simply put the the headphones on. I'me sure you will be fine.

Best wishes, hoBe tHiS HeLp :wink:

Reply 18

holmes221

18

Original post by Anonymous

I think I'm scared that I can never perform like they do :frown:

So its a competition? Well think of it like this even if your getting the silver medal at least you got to participate than not/?

Reply 19

Mankytoes

10

Original post by Anonymous

I think I'm scared that I can never perform like they do :frown:

Loud sex doesn't equal good sex. They might just be exhibitionists, weird as it may sound, the noise may be aimed at you. I knew a girl who used to scream during sex, until one time I came back and they were doing it without knowing anyone else was in, and she was barely making a sound. They're probably making all the noise to cover up their insecurities, especially if it's constant, not just occasional high bits.

Flatmate's sex noises make me feel down

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you