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Thoughts on open relationships?

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Reply 60
Original post by donutaud15
Here's another thing, I don't actually care what people think. You say I've no morals, your opinion. I don't care.

Just in case it's not clear, I don't give a flying **** about your opinion. I've said what I thought of open relationships. You're not gonna change my opinion. End of.



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awwww that's cute you've such a unique mature stance this world needs more people like you who do not care what others think of them to childish levels

he's not trying to change your opinion he's just giving some logic very peacefully and its clear it made you realize somewhere that what you thought could possibly be wrong and somewhere in your skull it registered that you'd been outsmarted and been put down by someone and the 12 year old-esque shields f***ing raised, because god forbid you listen to someone else forcing their evil opinion down your throat
Reply 61
Original post by donutaud15
Here's the thing, if I walk up to a meth addict and say they should stop it blah blah, would I make a change? Most likely not. Possibly end up stabbed. So why should I bother?

As for the effect it has on children etc, well our parents and their parents haven't eradicated drugs and all. Why can't we blame them? Maybe instead of bugging me about being docile, you should ask your parents and grandparents why they readily accept the world they live in and expect their children to live in it too?

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Hold up hun

I wasn't continuing with the meth analogy with this, its not about telling them to stop. What this is, is acknowledging within yourself what's right and wrong and actually having some thought about things before you brush it off as none of your business. As long as everyone has common sense its ok. The drug analogy is redundant, this is an open question that's being asked right now, this is the point before open relationships become commonplace. You can't use the example of an already commonly used drug associated with other dangerous criminal behaviour.

What I'm saying is that, the "none of my business" thinking is counterproductive. You can't use childish examples like that, its about keeping morals. Our parents and grandparents kept their morals and common sense, that's not up for discussion. We have common moral conventions in our times, in relation to things such as killing etc. What we're implying of open relationships is that, they have negative connotations such as changing the morality of people, ruining upbringing of children by creating an unstable atmosphere etc.
Original post by ShiraS
awwww that's cute you've such a unique mature stance this world needs more people like you who do not care what others think of them to childish levels

he's not trying to change your opinion he's just giving some logic very peacefully and its clear it made you realize somewhere that what you thought could possibly be wrong and somewhere in your skull it registered that you'd been outsmarted and been put down by someone and the 12 year old-esque shields f***ing raised, because god forbid you listen to someone else forcing their evil opinion down your throat


This is what's wrong with people like you and the other person, you don't get that my opinion on the matter is as valid as yours. I'm not trying to change your opinion even if I don't agree with it. Why are you pestering me?

It's not being outsmarted. It's opinion. No right or wrong.

If you and people like you can't accept that and still force people to agree with your ideologies (Hitler anyone?) then you're the one with a problem, not me.

If you can't understand that, here's a simple one, I don't give a flying **** about you or your opinion.

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Original post by ShiraS
Hold up hun

I wasn't continuing with the meth analogy with this, its not about telling them to stop. What this is, is acknowledging within yourself what's right and wrong and actually having some thought about things before you brush it off as none of your business. As long as everyone has common sense its ok. The drug analogy is redundant, this is an open question that's being asked right now, this is the point before open relationships become commonplace. You can't use the example of an already commonly used drug associated with other dangerous criminal behaviour.

What I'm saying is that, the "none of my business" thinking is counterproductive. You can't use childish examples like that, its about keeping morals. Our parents and grandparents kept their morals and common sense, that's not up for discussion. We have common moral conventions in our times, in relation to things such as killing etc. What we're implying of open relationships is that, they have negative connotations such as changing the morality of people, ruining upbringing of children by creating an unstable atmosphere etc.


How's open relationship harming you or your morals?

And if you're so concerned about morals etc, then maybe focus on your own rather than other people? Or are you so damn perfect you don't need to?

If those are so hard to understand look at previous post. I have better things to do than argue with 'perfect' individuals

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Reply 64
Original post by donutaud15
This is what's wrong with people like you and the other person, you don't get that my opinion on the matter is as valid as yours. I'm not trying to change your opinion even if I don't agree with it. Why are you pestering me?

It's not being outsmarted. It's opinion. No right or wrong.

If you and people like you can't accept that and still force people to agree with your ideologies (Hitler anyone?) then you're the one with a problem, not me.

If you can't understand that, here's a simple one, I don't give a flying **** about you or your opinion.

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The truth is there are really very few questions that really don't have a right or wrong. There is clear right and wrong in issues like this. Like the other guy said, its about morals. The same common morals that tell us that murder is bad etc. Simple morals like that, aren't open ended. People can and have argued that murder is ok in the past but isn't it obvious its wrong. But just like murder you can slowly make it seem more and more ok, a process of desensitization. Which is similar to processes involved in degenerating of other morals like sleeping around.

Sometimes, opinions are as valid as each other but scenarios like that are rare, there are better more thought out opinions. e.g. would a child's opinion on war be as valid as someone who had experienced it? which would you take as the better one.

lol its not about forcing ideologies its about continuing common sense and common traditional morality in a time where it is being lost, this common sense cannot be compared to someone like Hitler's ideology.
Reply 65
Original post by donutaud15
How's open relationship harming you or your morals?

And if you're so concerned about morals etc, then maybe focus on your own rather than other people? Or are you so damn perfect you don't need to?

If those are so hard to understand look at previous post. I have better things to do than argue with 'perfect' individuals

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Hold up again hun

No one here said they were perfect. Its just about traditional common sense morals, things that are always consistent across society, such as do not kill. Would I be claiming to be perfect if I told you not to murder?

lol you can't understand where I'm coming from without understanding open relationships, do you not see obvious problems with open relationships. Its literally cheating and sleeping around legitimized on a big scale. Sites like tumblr encourage polyamory. Its not about harming me, its about society and morals changing, I was just saying if everyone like you just accepts this all brushing it off telling yourself "its none of my business", it gets worse
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by CoolCavy
erm..well whatever floats ur boat. TBH i don't intend on having any type of relationship, open or closed :h:


Aren't you currently in an open relationship with several guinea pigs who secretly compete for your affection? :mmm:
Original post by ShiraS
Hold up again hun

No one here said they were perfect. Its just about traditional common sense morals, things that are always consistent across society, such as do not kill. Would I be claiming to be perfect if I told you not to murder?

lol you can't understand where I'm coming from without understanding open relationships, do you not see obvious problems with open relationships. Its literally cheating and sleeping around legitimized on a big scale. Sites like tumblr encourage polyamory. Its not about harming me, its about society and morals changing, I was just saying if everyone like you just accepts this all as none of my business, it gets worse




No I don't see the problem with it. It's a choice. It doesn't affect me.

Besides if you're so bothered about open relationships then I take it you're not too happy with Adam and Eve who did just that? If you're not religious then prehistoric people who ****ed others for reproduction. Or hell if you're that upset about it, then instead of arguing with someone who has no problem with the actual issue, maybe go bother those who practice it. I suggest you start with those of certain religion. You *might* make more of a difference.

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Reply 68
Reminds me of the time I met a girl in a bar. We had a few drinks together and she noticed my wedding ring. She asked "so are you in an open relationship"? I laughed and said, "well, one of us is"

Could of but didn't.
I have no issues with open relationships, and in some forms they can be very health.

One example is if the two people dating have wildly different sex drives, the one who has a high sex drive could, if both partners agree, go out and get it out of their system, reducing pressure on the partner with a lower sex drive to try and fulfil the needs of the high sex drive partner

Another example is if one partner has kinks/bdsm thoughts and the other partner isn't happy trying it out, if both are happy the partner with the kinks could explore that side of their sexual desires outside of the relationship without putting pressure on the other partner to experiment, which could drive a wedge into the relationship

A third example is if one or both of them are bisexual/pansexual. They are perfectly happy together but miss the touch of someone of another gender, in a sexual way that is. Both partners could go and get off with someone of another gender get that out of their system and return to a happy relationship.

An example I hear quite commonly is relationships where couples are okay with sleeping with other people when one of them is away, say on a business trip. Say the man works in a bank is away at a conference, he can sleep with someone while there, while his partner could find someone to sleep with while he is away.

Just a few examples I thought of on the spot. If people want to be together, but agree to an open relationship then why should we stop them? Especially why should we stop them just because someone else thinks it is wrong or immoral. Should we stop people believing in religion as someone thinks religion is wrong? Should we ban meat eating because some vegetarians and vegans see it as wrong?
Original post by Jimbo1234


Pahaha, really? At 21 you think you can speak from experience about getting bored in a relationship when, lets be honest, you still probably have no idea who you are or what you want.


A bit of everything will keep you happy, whereas too much of one thing won't.

As far as I'm concerned, it's just common sense.
Been in one and that was my best relationship.

People just have the weird idea that once you're in a relationship you physically own the other person so you can dictate what is and is not socially acceptable for him/her to do.

And if there's any less commitment in an open relationship simply because of it not restricting sex partners, then surely relationships where the parties are allowed to make friends and watch movies and have meals with other people are 'less committed' compared to relationships where you are not allowed to interact with anyone else.

Same rationale, same logic.
Reply 72
I'm open to the idea, but I wouldn't be the first to suggest it.
Original post by Most Competitive
A bit of everything will keep you happy, whereas too much of one thing won't.

As far as I'm concerned, it's just common sense.


Yes, I'm sure you have such a wealth of experience that you can give advice like that....oh wait.
Everyone wants a stable relationship as that is human nature.


Original post by donutaud15
Here's another thing, I don't actually care what people think. You say I've no morals, your opinion. I don't care.

Just in case it's not clear, I don't give a flying **** about your opinion. I've said what I thought of open relationships. You're not gonna change my opinion. End of.


You don't care but you feel the need to reply and say it adamantly and you also get aggressive and defensive.

So you do care. In fact it looks like you care a lot, you just don't know what to do about it and clearly are not happy with your choice or being challenged. Well I think that sums it up nicely.
Original post by Jimbo1234
Yes, I'm sure you have such a wealth of experience that you can give advice like that....oh wait.
Everyone wants a stable relationship as that is human nature.



It's your word against mine. We'll have to agree to disagree on this.
Original post by Jack1066
Whoever proposes an open relationship just wants to cheat without the repercussions 90% of the time


Well thats the idea but its not cheating if its understood the relationship is an open one
Not for me.
Original post by elliemayxo
^ as the above states


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Is that really you in your avatar?
I like em.
Original post by Kay_Winters
I have no issues with open relationships, and in some forms they can be very health.

One example is if the two people dating have wildly different sex drives, the one who has a high sex drive could, if both partners agree, go out and get it out of their system, reducing pressure on the partner with a lower sex drive to try and fulfil the needs of the high sex drive partner

Another example is if one partner has kinks/bdsm thoughts and the other partner isn't happy trying it out, if both are happy the partner with the kinks could explore that side of their sexual desires outside of the relationship without putting pressure on the other partner to experiment, which could drive a wedge into the relationship

A third example is if one or both of them are bisexual/pansexual. They are perfectly happy together but miss the touch of someone of another gender, in a sexual way that is. Both partners could go and get off with someone of another gender get that out of their system and return to a happy relationship.

An example I hear quite commonly is relationships where couples are okay with sleeping with other people when one of them is away, say on a business trip. Say the man works in a bank is away at a conference, he can sleep with someone while there, while his partner could find someone to sleep with while he is away.

Just a few examples I thought of on the spot. If people want to be together, but agree to an open relationship then why should we stop them? Especially why should we stop them just because someone else thinks it is wrong or immoral. Should we stop people believing in religion as someone thinks religion is wrong? Should we ban meat eating because some vegetarians and vegans see it as wrong?


This age can be a factor aswell. You can have someone who is young and relatively inexperienced to the older person in the relationship who has had a lions share of the pork sword / Fleshy sausage wallet

Gonna suck for the young sexually inexperienced person who will always be wondering what other sausage / sausage wallet is like on their deathbed

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