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I was 17 when I started dating my 24 year old ex. I don't see anything wrong with it. You're right to wait though

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Reply 41
[QUOTE=thechemistress;60000635]I don't think anyone's being overly judgmental here. He asked for opinions on the matter, which is what he's getting :h:
OP and his girlfriend aren't having sex, but if their relationship is sexual in any way (i.e oral sex etc) then that will be counted as child abuse in the eyes of the law (as far as I know).
Refer to OP's original post- he asked for opinions, not advice:



I think the iffiness comes from the fact that she is 15. Once she turns 16, I don't think anybody will have much of a problem with it at all.
No, I would still view him with a high degree of suspicion as a dirty hound dog. Break the 1/2 age + 7 rule at your peril..
I messed up my age in description. I am 22.
Interesting. I'm no Peedofile at all.

We have both spoken about the GCSE situation. The whole GCSE period we shan't be seeing each other or being in contact very much. I've made it 100% clear to her and her parents that her exams come first!
To those who said about oral sex, no neither is that happening!
She is 15, do you really think I'm that stupid?
I don't expect anything off her when she turns 16 either, I'm not like every other average 22 year old.
We are both being very sensible about it. We both want to live our lives before any serious decisions.

About maturity.. She is very mature for a 15 year old, she will only get maturer over the next few years. She knows what she wants in life, she knows what college and job she wants to go too.

Waiting till she is 16 to be in a relationship isn't daft is it? It's sensible.
Original post by Scott.
30! Cringe


Thank you for your insightful comment on my relationship...
Reply 44
Original post by Plumstone
Thank you for your insightful comment on my relationship...


Were you parents okay with it?
Original post by thechemistress
I don't think anyone's being overly judgmental here. He asked for opinions on the matter, which is what he's getting :h:
OP and his girlfriend aren't having sex, but if their relationship is sexual in any way (i.e oral sex etc) then that will be counted as child abuse in the eyes of the law (as far as I know).
Refer to OP's original post- he asked for opinions, not advice:

I think the iffiness comes from the fact that she is 15. Once she turns 16, I don't think anybody will have much of a problem with it at all.


Really? I found the tone of a lot of people's responses quite offensive. I get that they're expressing opinions but I just don't think it should be done the way people have been doing it; they could be kinder. Yeah I understand what you're saying, but I interpreted it as the opinions on the appropriateness of the situation, and this is my way of expressing my opinion on the situation. Of course he is more than welcome to completely ignore what I say
(edited 8 years ago)
Maybe he is allergic to pubes
Original post by Profesh
Is she a High Church Anglican, by any chance?


lol where's william :lol:
OP, do not listen to these people.
My friend started dating her boyfriend when she was 15 and her boyfriend was 21 and they are still together 6 years on. Dont worry about her not being 16 yet, she is only a few months away from being 16 and a few months will make no difference to how mature she is. she will be legal in a few months so its fine. Its not like you have to look at a calender every day and count down the days until the exact day she turns 16. just go for it and dont care about the naysayers :h:
Reply 49
I was 17 and my first boyfriend was 25, so about the same age gap and even now a good few years later I'd say to her run, run like the wind.
It's too young! Even if you act mature doesn't mean you are!
I wasn't even at 17 and I lived independently too.
If you care about her that much, don't put her in the position that in a few years will effect her a lot more.

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I know someone who was 15 and started dating a guy who was 19 and hand on heart, it was one of the worst relationships I've ever witnessed.
Not only is it weird wanting to date someone that much younger than you (who is underage!!!!) the power dynamic can make the relationship turn sour fast. Plus y'know just because someone is mature for their age, doesn't mean that they're mature enough to be a relationship with someone in their early twenties.
Original post by Swagio
I was 17 and my first boyfriend was 25, so about the same age gap and even now a good few years later I'd say to her run, run like the wind.
It's too young! Even if you act mature doesn't mean you are!
I wasn't even at 17 and I lived independently too.
If you care about her that much, don't put her in the position that in a few years will effect her a lot more.

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just because you were immature at that age doesnt mean everyone is. my brother's girlfriend was 17 and he was 26 when they started dating each other and this is their 7th year together, my cousin was 27 and his gf 17 when they started dating and they now have a kid and are getting married. so please stop saying things like 'put her in a position that will *affect her a lot more' because it is complete BS, he didnt say he was gonna kidnap and rape her.
Original post by Treeroy
You're deliberately putting off sex until she's older - because you know you're in the wrong. Just admit it and break it off.


Or because it's illegal? :lolwut:
A lot of people on the first page have been quite blunt and unnecessarily rude to you OP, apologies on behalf of them.. :tongue:.

22 vs 15 is a big difference, but what I can gather from your posts you're waiting until she's 16(?) and whilst there will be a massive maturity gap regardless of how mature she is now, if you 2 honestly feel ready for a relationship then go for it.
Personally, I think it's odd. When I was younger I didn't understand the big deal about age gaps, but now I'm older I get it.
I briefly dated a 19 year old when I was 21 and even then the difference in maturity levels was too much. Dating a 16 year old who is doing their GCSEs, can't drink/vote and isn't financially independent is so unappealing to me. However, as long as you wait until she is 16 then nobody can say anything.
Reply 55
Original post by driftawaay
just because you were immature at that age doesnt mean everyone is. my brother's girlfriend was 17 and he was 26 when they started dating each other and this is their 7th year together, my cousin was 27 and his gf 17 when they started dating and they now have a kid and are getting married. so please stop saying things like 'put her in a position that will *affect her a lot more' because it is complete BS, he didnt say he was gonna kidnap and rape her.


Actually I was a really mature 17 year, but it's not just maturity it's the fact you're in such different points in your life and no matter how mature you think you are 17 ain't fully developed.
Plus she's 15 not 17.

And not everyone will be, but I did my study in development of adolescents in regards to relationships weather with parents, friends or romantic partners.
17 in terms of outcome isn't so bad, but children usually under 16/ 17 can be left with issues after a romantic relationship, with someone with a significant age gap.

So I'm not spouting bs. Apart from your brothers relationship do you know much? In fact have you been in a relationship like that yourself? It's bloody hard! They must be strong to stay together because the age gap at that age makes a massive difference!!

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Reply 56
Original post by Bg63
Hello all

I am a male, 22 years old and have great feelings for a 15 year old female. We love each other, she is very mature for her age that's for sure! That's the main reason I like her.
Her parents are fine that we love each other, we won't be getting into a relationship till she turns 16 in April next year.
No, we aren't having sex, we are not rushing the relationship at all.
Now, I'd like to know of your thoughts and if anyone on here has been in a similar situation?

Cheers


I've dated a 24 year old since I was 17, it's fine really, age was never an issue - I would say I'm more mature than him if anything.

On a side note, my birthdays on april too!
I hope you treat her well.
It's perfectly fine :smile: Plus another persons judgement on your relationship shouldn't matter. If you two are happy then why the hell does anybody else matter. ☺️☺️


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Original post by Anonymous
I messed up my age in description. I am 22.
Interesting. I'm no Peedofile at all.

We have both spoken about the GCSE situation. The whole GCSE period we shan't be seeing each other or being in contact very much. I've made it 100% clear to her and her parents that her exams come first!
To those who said about oral sex, no neither is that happening!
She is 15, do you really think I'm that stupid?
I don't expect anything off her when she turns 16 either, I'm not like every other average 22 year old.
We are both being very sensible about it. We both want to live our lives before any serious decisions.

About maturity.. She is very mature for a 15 year old, she will only get maturer over the next few years. She knows what she wants in life, she knows what college and job she wants to go too.

Waiting till she is 16 to be in a relationship isn't daft is it? It's sensible.


No I'm glad you've tackled what I was most concerned about, and that you are prioritising her wellbeing. I would encourage you to pursue it, considering you've been so reasonable about her situation and everything. Good luck!

P.S can I just say 'paedophile' sorry spelling upsets me XD
(edited 8 years ago)

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