Asked girl for coffee/kind of first date - she accepts but brings a female friend

Alright essentially, i have kind of just met her in person last week, and added on fb and started talking - right from the get go my intentions (IMO) are fairly clear that i do fancy her and wish to take her out for drinks. She replies she don't drink so i offer maybe coffee/lunch instead then.

Long story short, she said yes and scheduled it on Monday where it seems she only has time during a certain period and will be bringing female friend as they just had a class together straight after - either she doesn't want to ditch friend; or probably feels kind of uncomfortable one to one with me; or simply treating me as a friendzone hanging out... i don't know - because i am getting a mixed bag of hints as she did mention that she would bring female friend if i didn't mind.

Any feedback on this situation? It technically has pulled a lot of stress from me as i have 2 people to converse with rather than 1 which might get stale with my brain in the mix lol.

(Complete noob in this field - and no i'm not one night stand type of guy (so if its tips for this no thanks; i genuinely want to know her and maybe develop relationship).

Reply 1

Leftee

12

either she doesn't want to ditch friend

feels kind of uncomfortable one to one with me

or simply treating me as a friendzone hanging out

It could honestly be any of these.

Reply 2

Jenx301

19

Either she doesn't realise it is supposed to be a date or she doesn't want to date you and is trying to friend zone you. If she really wanted to date I think she would tell her friend and come alone.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

probably would be worth noting that I only officially spoke to her for like 5 minutes in person last week so it is a fairly new interaction - so i guess i'll go with the flow and see where we get to :/

Reply 4

username1539513

21

Original post by Jenx301

Either she doesn't realise it is supposed to be a date or she doesn't want to date you and is trying to friend zone you. If she really wanted to date I think she would tell her friend and come alone.

I don't know about you but I wouldn't come alone for a date with a guy I barely know; its date rape prevention 101

Lol friend zoned m8.

Original post by Anonymous

probably would be worth noting that I only officially spoke to her for like 5 minutes in person last week so it is a fairly new interaction - so i guess i'll go with the flow and see where we get to :/

Safety reasons is the more reasonably likelihood here. I wouldn't go for a date with a bloke I hardly knew alone. That's just stupid

Reply 7

Jenx301

19

I didn't realise he had only spoken to her for five minutes - I assumed they were at uni together. Also, I wouldn't be worried about getting raped in a coffee shop.

Reply 8

scrotgrot

16

That is disrespectful

Reply 9

Rakas21

21

You failed OP, you should have told her you don't like meeting friends until you know her.

See if you can get her to meet you again and go for the kiss otherwise write her off as never more than a friend.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

just to clear things up - coffee shop is right in middle of Uni - so the people with sick minds of saying date rape prevention etc. i don't think it applies here.

guess we will see then...

Reply 11

username1539513

21

Original post by Anonymous

just to clear things up - coffee shop is right in middle of Uni - so the people with sick minds of saying date rape prevention etc. i don't think it applies here.

guess we will see then...

Date rape is a real issue though, especially amongst young adults who are more naïve. How does she know you aren't a date rapist?

Reply 12

Ahmed766

15

Original post by Anonymous

Alright essentially, i have kind of just met her in person last week, and added on fb and started talking - right from the get go my intentions (IMO) are fairly clear that i do fancy her and wish to take her out for drinks. She replies she don't drink so i offer maybe coffee/lunch instead then.

Long story short, she said yes and scheduled it on Monday where it seems she only has time during a certain period and will be bringing female friend as they just had a class together straight after - either she doesn't want to ditch friend; or probably feels kind of uncomfortable one to one with me; or simply treating me as a friendzone hanging out... i don't know - because i am getting a mixed bag of hints as she did mention that she would bring female friend if i didn't mind.

Any feedback on this situation? It technically has pulled a lot of stress from me as i have 2 people to converse with rather than 1 which might get stale with my brain in the mix lol.

(Complete noob in this field - and no i'm not one night stand type of guy (so if its tips for this no thanks; i genuinely want to know her and maybe develop relationship).

Bruh abort immediately, you're heading 100 MPH into the friend zone, so deep Adele is rolling in it.

Reply 13

Zarek

21

Not an encouraging sign. There is a remote chance she just wants to test the water first. Go along with it and if there is any encouragement then follow up with a clear date request. If she's not up for it put your energy elsewhere.

Reply 14

AvaAdore

8

I would only ever bring a friend if I wasn't interested and wanted to make this very clear. Anything else is game playing. Sorry.

Reply 15

PangXie

9

Original post by AvaAdore

I would only ever bring a friend if I wasn't interested and wanted to make this very clear. Anything else is game playing. Sorry.

This, sorry. If she liked you but was worried and playing it extra safe, she'd have her friend sit somewhere else in the café without you knowing. Bringing a friend to sit in on a date is pretty much as bad as bringing your mum, it guarantees nothing will happen.

Posted from TSR Mobile

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 16

Tiger Rag

22

Original post by AvaAdore

I would only ever bring a friend if I wasn't interested and wanted to make this very clear. Anything else is game playing. Sorry.

Agreed. I once went for coffee / lunch with a friend. We both knew it was just that. He then said "I've invited a friend of mine". I was fine with this.

Reply 17

cdude

18

Ask her out again but make it very clear it's a date. If this fails then just move on.

Reply 18

Mankytoes

10

For a coffee at lunchtime? Seems a bit over the top, you aren't going to have to be alone with him. Though it does remind me of a Peep Show quote, when a woman agrees to have a drink at Marks- "well I don't really think she fancies me, but at least she doesn't see me as a sexual threat". Has gone through my mind before... even if a girl doesn't like me, I'd like to think I at least make a good enough impression that she doesn't think I'm a potential rapist.

I'd say it's a pretty strong hint the girl isn't interested in that way. But you may as well still go, and judge on how she acts.

Reply 19

thegohst

7

It's over bro you was probably a practice date or you didn't build up enough comfort/trust when you was talking to her over facebook. Let it go and move on :burnout:

Asked girl for coffee/kind of first date - she accepts but brings a female friend

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you