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How can the online dating experience be improved for men?

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Original post by cole-slaw
God what a depressing idea. Is this the level men have sunk to?

Just go out and talk to people ffs. It takes 30s for women to figure out you're not a creep.


Why depressing idea? I don't find it depressing, I just accept it as the reality of the situation. And as more and more people conduct their dating through technology, either via Tinder or dating sites like Match or PoF, this is becoming ever more relevant.

And "just go out and talk to people" is something that is hard to implement in practice. On a dating site everyone is there for the same thing (ignoring the sex vs serious relationship topic for now) and hence cuts out the clutter and gets straight to the point.
Original post by ChaoticButterfly
and very little pussy

:getmecoat:


Nope, women are everywhere online. But for some reason (a study was done on this) if there is no identifying gender, most people will automatically assume the person behind the screen is male.

Weird.
Original post by SophieSmall
Unfortunately not every has the luxury of that much time.
Which is why i think online dating is good for people who simply don't have enough time to be going out and meeting new people in the hopes that 1 person will eventually like them.

However I do think online dating can be an absolute pile of crap for both men and women. Where in essence both parties don't get what they are looking for. As men often don't get responses, and this is mainly due to men massively outnumbering men on dating websites. Making it very difficult for women to respond to all the messages they get. And in my experience and women I know's experience, women often get just horrible and abuse messages online. Not to mention the tons of blatant hook up messages when it's clear on your profile you're looking for commitment.

How to solve it? **** knows. But for one we need to eradicate the culture of only men do the approaching, that takes a heck of a lot of time though. Secondly maybe have sites ban users who are "repeat offenders" of abusive messages, constant non repliers and ignoring the profiles goal (So people sending hook up messages to people who want commitment and vice versa). But that probably takes too much effort for most websites to bother with, and it's notoriously difficult to regulate online activity.

Moral of the story, internet is full of bell ends.



Really? How many people have evening jobs?

Online dating is incredibly inefficient. Look at how many people say its a numbers game and that you have to spend hours contacting hundreds of people only to get one date every few weeks. What a waste of time.

Whereas if you go out for a few hours, you can easily go home with someone that very night. Its a far more efficient and effective way of finding a relationship.
Original post by snakesnake
Why depressing idea? I don't find it depressing, I just accept it as the reality of the situation. And as more and more people conduct their dating through technology, either via Tinder or dating sites like Match or PoF, this is becoming ever more relevant.

And "just go out and talk to people" is something that is hard to implement in practice. On a dating site everyone is there for the same thing (ignoring the sex vs serious relationship topic for now) and hence cuts out the clutter and gets straight to the point.


What exactly do you find difficult about going out and talking to people?

I'm genuinely curious. Its not something I've ever heard anyone describe as difficult in real life.
Original post by cole-slaw
Really? How many people have evening jobs?

Online dating is incredibly inefficient. Look at how many people say its a numbers game and that you have to spend hours contacting hundreds of people only to get one date every few weeks. What a waste of time.

Whereas if you go out for a few hours, you can easily go home with someone that very night. Its a far more efficient and effective way of finding a relationship.



I didn't say it is for everyone.

But there are plenty of people who can't go out 4 times a week. For one they may have childcare commitments, or they could have a job where they are on call a lot. Secondly socialising can be expensive, going out 4 times a week can be pricey and many people can't afford that. And then there is people who may not have that many friends or people to socialise with and who they can meet other people through. Not everyone is awash with friends. Some people move to new cities for work and know nobody there and it can be a very lonely time and hard to make friends let alone socialise as much as you say is "easy".

I also never denied that currently online dating can be a right cesspool. But for some people, it is more convenient and easier for them.

Not everyone finds it that easy.
Original post by SophieSmall
I didn't say it is for everyone.

But there are plenty of people who can't go out 4 times a week. For one they may have childcare commitments, or they could have a job where they are on call a lot. Secondly socialising can be expensive, going out 4 times a week can be pricey and many people can't afford that. And then there is people who may not have that many friends or people to socialise with and who they can meet other people through. Not everyone is awash with friends. Some people move to new cities for work and know nobody there and it can be a very lonely time and hard to make friends let alone socialise as much as you say is "easy".

I also never denied that currently online dating can be a right cesspool. But for some people, it is more convenient and easier for them.

Not everyone finds it that easy.


I've moved cities three times. It takes about a month to get a new group of friends.

To be honest, if you're not capable of making friends reasonably easily, you're probably not relationship material.
Original post by datpiff
I decided to try my luck on the online dating scene and bloody hell it's a degrading and depressing experience. It just feels degrading and depressing as hell when you see all the women you sent a message checked out your profile, but never had the decency to even send you a message.

It feels like i'm in a casino and the odds are against me. A place where women are in complete control and also a place where the *******s ruin things for everyone. How can online dating be changed so that the chances are evened out for decent men, so women actually need to work to get messages too (as in isn't just guys chasing chasing chasing), but at the same time make the experience fun? We're in 2015 and we still haven't figured out how to make the perfect dating site... or maybe it isn't in the interest of business to make a dating site that actually works for men?


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Your odds are better in person dude. On the flip side you can say women have a raw deal in real life because they generally have to wait for guys to approach them.
Original post by cole-slaw
I've moved cities three times. It takes about a month to get a new group of friends.

To be honest, if you're not capable of making friends reasonably easily, you're probably not relationship material.




Wow aren't you just a nice fellow.

Not everyone is the same as you. Some people struggle in different areas and different people have different obstacles in their life.

Why it's so hard for you to ever think of a different point of view is beyond me. Your posts are always nauseatingly pompous.
Considering people do form like long relationships from online dating ti seems unfair to write it off purely from an empirical standpoint.
Original post by SophieSmall
Wow aren't you just a nice fellow.

Not everyone is the same as you. Some people struggle in different areas and different people have different obstacles in their life.

Why it's so hard for you to ever think of a different point of view is beyond me. Your posts are always nauseatingly pompous.


There is no need to get personal. Its extremely childish and only reveals your signature inability to engage in a discussion in a mature and constructive manner.

The problem with online dating is that its impossible to tell who is a weirdo and who isn't. So its more efficient for non-wierdos to avoid it.

So that is my advice: if you are a creepy weird bloke, online dating is great for you because you will be able to hide your creepiness. If you are not, its a terrible idea.
Original post by keturah
Yes I'm sure we'll both find someone soon :h:
It may be the fact I've made it clear I don't want anything casual, or that it says I'm bisexual on my profile.


Without discussing your sexuality specifically. Why is it that so many females on dating site claim to be bisexual? No way whatsoever is the dating site population for females so queer that ~50% are bisexual. It's absurd. Do women think this is a turn on for guys or something?
Original post by ChaoticButterfly
Considering people do form like long relationships from online dating ti seems unfair to write it off purely from an empirical standpoint.


I'm sure there are people who have formed relationships after being trapped in an elevator, it doesn't mean hanging around dodgy elevators is a particularly good idea.



FFS, just go out and talk to girls. It takes about 2 minutes to tell if you have potential as a couple.
Original post by cole-slaw
There is no need to get personal. Its extremely childish and only reveals your signature inability to engage in a discussion in a mature and constructive manner.

The problem with online dating is that its impossible to tell who is a weirdo and who isn't. So its more efficient for non-wierdos to avoid it.

So that is my advice: if you are a creepy weird bloke, online dating is great for you because you will be able to hide your creepiness. If you are not, its a terrible idea.


I was merely pointing out a very obvious observation.

You never take other people's views on board, from the whole time I have sense you on this site. You're generally just an ass.

So why I bothered to try to engage in a conversation with you is beyond me, suppose my own stupidity for thinking maybe just this once you'd take something on board.
Original post by cole-slaw
I'm sure there are people who have formed relationships after being trapped in an elevator, it doesn't mean hanging around dodgy elevators is a particularly good idea.



FFS, just go out and talk to girls. It takes about 2 minutes to tell if you have potential as a couple.


Would make good story to tell the grand children.

Like getting trapped on a desert island with a hot babe :sexface:
Original post by SophieSmall
I was merely pointing out a very obvious observation.

You never take other people's views on board, from the whole time I have sense you on this site. You're generally just an ass.

So why I bothered to try to engage in a conversation with you is beyond me, suppose my own stupidity for thinking maybe just this once you'd take something on board.


Original post by SophieSmall
I was merely pointing out a very obvious observation.

You never take other people's views on board, from the whole time I have sense you on this site. You're generally just an ass.

So why I bothered to try to engage in a conversation with you is beyond me, suppose my own stupidity for thinking maybe just this once you'd take something on board.


Don't think I don't take your view on board. Its just that it is a view I have heard many times before, have considered in detail, and have recognised to be bull****.
There should be options to search by height, weight, measured weight (kgs, instead of vague categories), if they have kids or not.
Original post by SophieSmall
Nope, women are everywhere online. But for some reason (a study was done on this) if there is no identifying gender, most people will automatically assume the person behind the screen is male.

Weird.


It was a more an joke about ratio to penises and vulvas on dating sites.
It can't, you're competing against handsome guys who get bored and go online for a quick fling. They have sex with whatever decent-looking woman they can find, which boosts her ego and makes her believe she's a beauty queen that deserves no less than a male model.

So if you're average looking or worse, there's really no point.
Original post by TorpidPhil
Without discussing your sexuality specifically. Why is it that so many females on dating site claim to be bisexual? No way whatsoever is the dating site population for females so queer that ~50% are bisexual. It's absurd. Do women think this is a turn on for guys or something?

Well I can't say I've noticed that tbh I haven't come across many bi women who live near me on okc.
Hmm that would be a pretty sad reason, I've found it has put guys off, "so I would have to worry about other women and men".
But I'm not going to say I'm not attracted to some girls when I am .

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