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I'm bound to be upset my boyfriend is talking to the ex, right?

Recently stumbled across messages between my boyfriend, and the ex girlfriend. Although he wasn't speaking to her 'romantically' or whatever, he's arranged (not attended) to meet other girls in the past.

Obviously I'm going to be upset, or am I just over thinking it?
So he can't be friends with other girls huh? Bet he's happy being around you :rolleyes:
You have a right to be upset. Speaking to your ex behind your girlfriends back isn't great, ask him about it.
Original post by Anonymous
Recently stumbled across messages between my boyfriend, and the ex girlfriend. Although he wasn't speaking to her 'romantically' or whatever, he's arranged (not attended) to meet other girls in the past.

Obviously I'm going to be upset, or am I just over thinking it?


Yes, that is annoying. Particularly because I've found and heard that speaking to exes are a bad idea and they're better off never speaking to eachother again.

A tough situation, because you don't want him to find out that you've seen these things and/or come across as controlling.
You're overthinking it and throwing up a big fuss over nothing. You should take a more casual approach. He's free to do whatever he wants, he can talk to anyone.
I think it's weird that they are speaking but I think you need to give him a chance. Maybe just say you noticed the name pop up in his phone and you were wondering how she is doing.. that was itll let him know you know
If he'd told you it wouldn't be a big deal, but why has he kept it from you?

It could be he's up to something suspicious, OR could be because you're a jealous person and wouldn't like it even if it was harmless.

Think about how you have acted in the past with him talking to other girls.
(edited 8 years ago)
Why shouldn't he talk to her? Not all exes have to hate each other.
I think this is a tough one. Obviously it is uncomfortable for you for him to talk to his ex but if they are honestly just talking like friends I don't really see the issue. However if you have brought it up and he has then tried to keep it quiet that is when I would be suspicious NOT if you haven't said anything and neither has he, because realistically who tells their partner every person they speak to? I'm sure there is nothing to worry about :smile:
Reply 9
Avatar for Zarek
Zarek
21
Yes and no. Bizarrely and counter intuitively the best way to hold on to your partner is to be totally non possessive..
He should be open about something like that. My boyfriend is friends with a couple of ex girlfriends, I'm OK with it (although wouldn't be happy with them meeting alone) but he is open about it. I wouldn't be happy if it had started up without me knowing.
Reply 11
Avatar for PusE
PusE
14
Lol. Hardly anybody is 100% committed and secret free from their partners. Get used to it

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Original post by shawn_o1
So he can't be friends with other girls huh? Bet he's happy being around you :rolleyes:


It's not girls, I don't mind him being friends with other girls, but he was going to her house behind my back when in the early stages of our relationship, and called me by her name.
Original post by Thickfreakness
You're overthinking it and throwing up a big fuss over nothing. You should take a more casual approach. He's free to do whatever he wants, he can talk to anyone.


I don't want to throw a fuss as such, it's just his past with her that's making me uncomfortable. He's been to her house numerous times behind my back in the early stages of our relationship and I'm still not 100% sure what for.
I don't usually mind who he talks to, but the one person I'm uncomfortable with, is the one he's been messaging and arranging to meet, yet again.
I can see the OPs point. Briefly dated someone who talked to a woman who claim was his ex a lot on the phone in front of me. Except. She wasn't actually his ex.
Original post by Anonymous
I don't want to throw a fuss as such, it's just his past with her that's making me uncomfortable. He's been to her house numerous times behind my back in the early stages of our relationship and I'm still not 100% sure what for.
I don't usually mind who he talks to, but the one person I'm uncomfortable with, is the one he's been messaging and arranging to meet, yet again.


Ask him. We don't know for definite - the only one who can truly explain is him. Find out why he felt the need to go behind your back. If you think it's a valid explanation, then good. If it's not, think about whether or not to continue the relationship

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