Boyfriend wants me to come out and make our relationship public. But I'm not gay.

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I come from a homophobic background. My parents will hate me. Life is so much easier if you're straight. I don't want to go through all that when I'm not even gay anyway.

You don't tell everybody that you're gay, and most won't care.

However, your parents will find out one day; you should tell them first in order to avoid blood and tears, perhaps by telling the more liberal one, or your siblings.

Reply 41

Josb

Original post by Katty3

Pansexuals feel attraction regardless of gender. They feel primary sexual attraction as well as secondary attraction.

So bisexuals.

Reply 42

Katty3

Original post by Bupdeeboowah

Thank you for your explanation, but I personally think that these labels are all needless labels fraught with incoherent distinctions.

For some people, they are useful and make us feel like we aren't the only one or broken in some way. It provides support for some people.

When everyone assumes you feel one way, and you don't, it is quite isolating. A label allows you to feel that actually you aren't just weird and other people feel the same.

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Reply 43

Bupdeeboowah

Original post by Katty3

On the contrary, labels to me seem further divide people instead of bringing them together - resulting in further isolation.

And to further ask - what's wrong with being different from others, having a position which is not defined in relation to another person's definition, but rather, defined by yourself?

Reply 44

Josb

Original post by Bupdeeboowah

Exactly, I find it ludicrous when people expand the original LGBT into "LGBTRFGHJK++".

Reply 45

Katty3

Original post by Bupdeeboowah

It allows me to explain who I am and what I feel.

It does make me feel like I'm not the only person who is like me.

Instead of feeling like a freak when you are the only person who experiences the world the way you do, it helps you feel less alone.

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Reply 46

driftawaay

Original post by Anonymous

LoL gays

LoL anon idiots :teehee:

Reply 47

username1148663

Original post by Anonymous

I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 19. He's been openly gay since he was 14. We have been together two years now.

I have struggled so hard with my sexuality. I have never fancied woman. I've tried to date them but never managed to kiss one unless I was drunk and I am repulsed at the thought of sleeping with a woman.

At the same time the only person I've been sexually attracted to is my boyfriend. He's very good looking and charming with a lot of people fancying him. I don't know what it was about him but I just fell in love.

I hate the idea of being gay, everything about it. I really, really don't want to be gay. I'm sure I'm not anyway.

If I go public with my relationship everyone will think I'm gay. I can't imagine living without my boyfriend. But living with being gay is worse.

Should I just leave him and try and make it work with women/ maybe stay single forever?

Sorry but your repulsed by the thought of having sex with women.

You're having a physical and emotional relationship with a man for two years and you don't think you're gay..... LOL

Just tell people that you are gay and get over it.

Being gay these days is fashionable it seems so come out and be on point lol

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Reply 48

Anonymous #1

Well I've told my closest friends that I am in a relationship with a man. They were surprised and said they hadn't thought I was gay but had had suspicions that my boyfriend was. They just thought he was a close friend.
None of them are remotely bothered though. Which is the best reaction I could have asked for. I feel really happy now. :-)

I don't know if I can every tell my parents. They like 150miles away from me and are quite old. Maybe I will just not say anything.

Reply 49

Anonymous #4

If you leave him and date a girl, you are irresponsible totally.

You are to dump your lovely boyfriend leaving him in a desperate mood for long and hurt another girl by deceiving to her about your sexuality and damaging her long for a great relationship.

You need to know that you are gay, no matter how you think that idea is, cuz the truth is you are.

There is nothing bad about being gay - you are not part of a minority, you are part of social diversity.

Celebrate it, otherwise why there are gay pride instead of straight pride?

Cuz being gay is something you should celebrate - no two in the world are the same and you are worthy as you are.

Reply 50

It's****ingWOODY

Original post by yoongles

-you are probably gay. you should go to therapy or something to become more comfortable about it.
-you shouldnt feel pressured to come out if you don't want to.
-however its also unfair to your boyfriend if he wants to be in an openly gay relationship
-have you talked to him about how you struggle with your sexuality?? if not, you probably should.
-dont date a woman , you will regret it and it will make things worse for you.