Marriage in church but not religious

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No.

You said

Only if you mean the government of Alfred the Great.

What I said was it used to be people had to get married in an Anglican Church. Now the government forces the Church to marry anyone.

Reply 41

Anonymous #1

Original post by Simes

If you are atheist, it is hypocrisy. If you simply have no religion, then it's just a building.

That's pretty much our thoughts on it. If there was another venue in the area we would go for that.

Reply 42

nulli tertius

Original post by william walker

What I said was it used to be people had to get married in an Anglican Church.

That is true

Now the government forces the Church to marry anyone.

What is wrong with this is the word "now". The Church has had to marry anyone ever since there has been such a thing as government and it certainly forced the Church to do so before people were forced to marry in church. You are attributing to the present government something that has always been the case.

Reply 43

Anonymous #1

Original post by barnetlad

I am surprised there is not an alternative. When the idea of castles and halls and other non-religious buildings being licensed was put forward, I was all in favour.

As I said; We live in a village. The only large enough buildings here are the churches and village hall.

Reply 44

CCC75

Original post by Masih ad-Dajjal

Really? Calling me mad?

Stupid.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lords_Spiritual

They get 26 Bishops in the House of Lords, unelected, influencing UK law

M a D - your profile initials, no?

The legal privileges that you outline, how do they negatively affect or prejudice other religious sects? Likewise, how does it affect the athiest going about their everyday business, apart from when they like the look of a CofE building as a venue, but don't want to experience any CofE influences?

Reply 45

NellyMelly

Original post by Anonymous

My partner and I are both not religious however we'd both like to get married in our local area. Unfortunately the only place licensed for weddings in our village is the local church.

I note that legally anyone can get married in that church as long as you live or have connections with the parish, however I'd guess the service would still have mention/commitment to god etc.

What are your thoughts on getting married in a church if you're not religious? To us it is a beautiful historic building in our village which we both love living in, however I know some people might be against non-religious people using it?

You are aware that at church weddings the main message is that you're commuting to God .That makes up a large part of the service and the vicar will keep on referring to it.Would you be comfortable with that?
Personally as a believer in God I don't think it's right but hey each to their own.

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Reply 46

username1148663

Original post by Anonymous

It's hypocritical

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Reply 47

Anonymous #1

Original post by NellyMelly

I've been to a church wedding in the past there 'god' was only mentioned once during the vows. My understanding is that different vicars are willing to allow different amounts of religious mentioning in the service?

Reply 48

Anonymous #1

Original post by paul514

It's hypocritical

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Why so? I didn't say that I was against them having a church (and therefore hypocritical for using it).

Reply 49

username1148663

Original post by Anonymous

Why so? I didn't say that I was against them having a church (and therefore hypocritical for using it).

A religious building is the personification of that religions beliefs.

If you don't believe them it is hypocritical to be married there

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Reply 50

Zarek

[QUOTE=Anonymous;60015473]My partner and I are both not religious however we'd both like to get married in our local area. Unfortunately the only place licensed for weddings in our village is the local church.

I note that legally anyone can get married in that church as long as you live or have connections with the parish, however I'd guess the service would still have mention/commitment to god etc.

What are your thoughts on getting married in a church if you're not religious? To us it is a beautiful historic building in our village which we both love living in, however I know some people might be against non-religious people using it?Go for it. You won't be the first hypocrites by a very long way, no one knows if God exists anyway and its a very atmospheric wedding venue and attractive photo back drop..

Reply 51

Helenia

Original post by Anonymous

There are certain bits of the CofE marriage service that are pretty much non-negotiable - we explored this when we got married as my husband is an atheist but was willing to get married in church as long as he didn't have to make vows involving God, but it wasn't possible. It depends how much it matters to you that you are making vows to a deity you don't believe in vs your desire to be in a specific location.

We ended up having a civil wedding followed by a church blessing, which is a lot more flexible, but obviously not an issue for you.

Reply 52

Anonymous #1

Original post by Helenia

Hmm, we'd have a civil wedding if there was anywhere else to have it in the area.

Did you speak to the priest about him being an atheist? What was the response?

Reply 53

Helenia

Original post by Anonymous

Hmm, we'd have a civil wedding if there was anywhere else to have it in the area.

Did you speak to the priest about him being an atheist? What was the response?

The priest was ok about him not being religious (I think that's what we said instead of outright atheist), but very clear he would still have to make the standard church vows, which include lines like "according to God's Holy law" and "in the presence of God I make this vow." Husband wasn't ok with that, so we didn't get married in the church. The blessing service was a lot more flexible so he didn't have to say anything he didn't agree with.

Could you look into having a quiet registry office legal wedding, then have a humanist celebrant do the big bash? Then you wouldn't be limited to licensed venues.

Reply 54

CCC75

Do you not have a local town hall OP. The buildings are usually quite impressive with a range of differing capacity rooms to choose from. We have lovely wedding photo from the marble staircase of the town hall where we got married before our wedding party transferred to a chapel for a blessing ceremony.

Reply 55

Anonymous #1

Original post by CCC75

Unfortunately our local registry office is pretty much just an office building and right in the town centre.

Reply 56

Simes

Original post by Helenia

Could you look into having a quiet registry office legal wedding, then have a humanist celebrant do the big bash? Then you wouldn't be limited to licensed venues.

You don't have to use a humanist celebrant. We did the registry office bit on the quiet with two friends (the date is a secret) and some months later a non-religious big bash ceremony we wrote ourselves with a celebrant.

It worked very well indeed. Including my wife's uncle, the vicar, who did a non-religious reading for us (one of the four), who was flattered to be asked and very pleased we didn't do the hypocrisy thing. He said it makes him cross that he only sees some people when he christens them, marries them or buries them just so they can use his venue.

This is not aimed at the OP - if there's only one venue available, then you don't have much choice.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 57

Helenia

Original post by Simes

Yep, that's true, it can be anyone if it's a non-legally-binding ceremony!

OP, are there any suitable venues in your town that are not licensed but you would otherwise be happy with?