The Student Room Group
<a https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7467335'> Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>
<a https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7467335'> Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>
<a https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7467335'> Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

[Personal Statement] What's wrong with my opening paragraph?

I am going to be applying for multiple universities soon going for the games programming courses. I have my opening paragraph and I just wanna see if I am on the right track with my writing, this is by no means the finished product, infact I intend to change a lot of it but I just need to know if I should change my mindset in the way I approach the personal statement.

This is my current opening paragraph.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by pogolauncher
i am going to be applying for multiple universities soon going for the games programming courses. I have my opening paragraph and i just wanna see if i am on the right track with my writing, this is by no means the finished product, infact i intend to change a lot of it but i just need to know if i should change my mindset in the way i approach the personal statement.

This is my current opening paragraph.


Do not post your ps on here.
(edited 8 years ago)
It's all we have in our sad little lives.
The joy of getting to a publicly posted ps in as short a time as possible. It's a bleak existence.
I rather think that was because you've posted in the fantasy ps thread and have graduated long ago. But I could be wrong.
So, you want me to remove it, then?
I guess so.
:facepalm:
Reply 8
Avatar for sandvika
sandvika
3
Done. I suggest you re-write your opening paragraph and make it different to the current one.

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you