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Why do women get slut shamed in the first place?
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[QUOTE=loveleest;60070701]sigh, my point is that I've heard and seen guys brag about having sex with some girls they find attractive and having one night stands and although they don't get high fived for it, they do get some sort of 'well done'kind of support. Yes alot of guys talk about their sex lives because i've heard it (nothing wrong with talking about your sexual experiences) but what is wrong is when a girl gets belittled for doing the same thing. What is the difference?! A girl telling a guy he has a small dick is not alut shaming. It is rude and shouldn't be said but it is definately not slut shaming. Guys do not get slut shamed because it is not insulting for a guy to have a number of sexual partners, hence why they are praised for it.
I've heard girls brag about getting good looking guys into bed to groups of other who were quite impressed. Friends are always going to be happy if they're friend gets something they wanted or impressed if it's something they wanted. I don't for a second think most girls get slut shamed by their friends (ex friends definately) or that most guys go round bragging about who they've slept with with people that aren't their friends (unless there creepy, if someone who wasn't my mate came to me bragging I wouldn't congratulate them id be abit hmmm okay then).
Guys do not get shamed for been a 'slut' no but yes they most certainly do get shamed for their sexuality.
I've heard girls brag about getting good looking guys into bed to groups of other who were quite impressed. Friends are always going to be happy if they're friend gets something they wanted or impressed if it's something they wanted. I don't for a second think most girls get slut shamed by their friends (ex friends definately) or that most guys go round bragging about who they've slept with with people that aren't their friends (unless there creepy, if someone who wasn't my mate came to me bragging I wouldn't congratulate them id be abit hmmm okay then).
Guys do not get shamed for been a 'slut' no but yes they most certainly do get shamed for their sexuality.
Narrow-minded people fail to appreciate that girls are just as human as guys are.
Slut-shaming is wrong. There are no two ways about it.
Slut-shaming is wrong. There are no two ways about it.
Well it's obviously because before widespread reliable contraception, the welfare state and non-physical office jobs, sleeping around was a great recipe for getting knocked up and then not being able to provide for your children. Therefore women who slept around were vilified by communities because they knew they'd be the ones who had to take on the burden.
The emergence of the above things has only happened since WW2 or 1 if you want to be generous. That means there are only a couple of generations who grew up without it being a concern, and even they will have been influenced by the still surviving grandparents, parents etc. Even so, second-wave feminism (social and family issues) began pretty quickly after the socioeconomic changes and was a strong movement with the tide of history behind it.
Nevertheless, just as there are a lot of people who think in terms of family and community support despite the welfare state, there are a lot of people who still retain the tacit assumption that women shouldn't sleep around.
I am all for women sleeping around, being sexually provocative and so on. It's sexy. Although as a believer in hypergamy I'm not sure they're biologically wired to spread the sex around the pool of males.
The emergence of the above things has only happened since WW2 or 1 if you want to be generous. That means there are only a couple of generations who grew up without it being a concern, and even they will have been influenced by the still surviving grandparents, parents etc. Even so, second-wave feminism (social and family issues) began pretty quickly after the socioeconomic changes and was a strong movement with the tide of history behind it.
Nevertheless, just as there are a lot of people who think in terms of family and community support despite the welfare state, there are a lot of people who still retain the tacit assumption that women shouldn't sleep around.
I am all for women sleeping around, being sexually provocative and so on. It's sexy. Although as a believer in hypergamy I'm not sure they're biologically wired to spread the sex around the pool of males.
Original post by loveleest
sigh, my point is that I've heard and seen guys brag about having sex with some girls they find attractive and having one night stands and although they don't get high fived for it, they do get some sort of 'well done'kind of support. Yes alot of guys talk about their sex lives because i've heard it (nothing wrong with talking about your sexual experiences) but what is wrong is when a girl gets belittled for doing the same thing. What is the difference?! A girl telling a guy he has a small dick is not alut shaming. It is rude and shouldn't be said but it is definately not slut shaming. Guys do not get slut shamed because it is not insulting for a guy to have a number of sexual partners, hence why they are praised for it.
Girls talk far more and in far more detail about their sex lives. In my experience guys are a lot more discreet and wouldn't disclose anything private about the girl because it would be seen as poor form.
On the contrary I have sometimes read hints that suggest my girlfriend may have discussed our sex life with her closer friends and that made me feel very vulnerable, objectified, public property. There doesn't seem to be the underlying idea that men are real people with real feelings.
Guys tend far more to just high five each other about getting one on the board. It's competition to assert your position in the social hierarchy. Discussion of the actual nature or quality of the sex act is limited to "have you done X", "have you done Y".
Again I feel that there is no cultural expectation that guys should particularly enjoy sex other than as notches on the bedpost. Instead, at the confluence of the two tendencies I've described, we are expected to "perform" for girls, be responsible for giving them a fantastic sexual experience ex nihilo. This is the same thing from which taking the piss out of having a small dick derives.
So it is not as if men don't get shamed about their sex lives by women and by other men, it's just that it takes a different form. I don't see why that's anything other than cosmetic, why is slut-shaming automatically worse than say bad-sex-shaming or its extension virgin-shaming?
Feminists do not generally have an answer for this but they always maintain that women always and everywhere face worse discrimination than men. I don't buy it: it relies on a selective definition of what is bad discrimination.
Original post by scrotgrot
I am all for women sleeping around, being sexually provocative and so on. It's sexy. Although as a believer in hypergamy I'm not sure they're biologically wired to spread the sex around the pool of males.
I am all for women sleeping around, being sexually provocative and so on. It's sexy. Although as a believer in hypergamy I'm not sure they're biologically wired to spread the sex around the pool of males.
Well they are wired in a way that promotes sleeping around since they do do that. It's either encouraged genetically or there is no strong encouragement one way or the other and it's rather arbitrary whether a woman decides to sleep around or not.
There is no reason at all that it could just be that once the risk of unwanted pregnancy evaporates women will be inclined to have sex for sex's sake like men do. They no longer need to make sure they have a stable loving guy they trust to look after them and provide for children which will be more or less inevitable if they have regular sex.
Orgasms are nice. Sex is pleasurable and fun. I think most of the differences in how genders and different individuals behave with regards to sex is down to environment and social reasons more than anything. Which are things that can quickly change.
(edited 8 years ago)
girls get slut shamed
guys get virgin shamed
that's life, son
guys get virgin shamed
that's life, son
Original post by ChaoticButterfly
Well they are wired in a way that promotes sleeping around since they do do that. It's either encouraged genetically or there is no strong encouragement one way or the other and it's rather arbitrary whether a woman decides to sleep around or not.
There is no reason at all that it could just be that once the risk of unwanted pregnancy evaporates women will be inclined to have sex for sex's sake like men do. They no longer need to make sure they have a stable loving guy they trust to look after them and provide for children which will be more or less inevitable if they have regular sex.
Orgasms are nice. Sex is pleasurable and fun. I think most of the differences in how genders and different individuals behave with regards to sex is down to environment and social reasons more than anything. Which are things that can quickly change.
There is no reason at all that it could just be that once the risk of unwanted pregnancy evaporates women will be inclined to have sex for sex's sake like men do. They no longer need to make sure they have a stable loving guy they trust to look after them and provide for children which will be more or less inevitable if they have regular sex.
Orgasms are nice. Sex is pleasurable and fun. I think most of the differences in how genders and different individuals behave with regards to sex is down to environment and social reasons more than anything. Which are things that can quickly change.
It's hard as usual to say how much of it is society or whether there is an evolved component, as usual the answer is probably a bit of both, after all we spent millions of years without contraception and so on and furthermore in a time when having a baby was quite likely to kill you. I don't see how people can dismiss the evolutionary aspects of it.
Girls seem to get just as horny as guys if not more, I don't dispute that, and may well end up having more sex (although surveys don't bear this out), I just think girls are more selective about it preferring to ensure they are in some sort of settled relationship other than for the highest value guys who they will take the "risk" for. The whole phenomenon we have in society of "relationships" is basically a concession to women's needs imo, that's why you have so many declared relationships that are little more than nominal.
Of course we are socialised into doing plenty of things completely against our underlying natures, I don't think girls have an underlying nature whereby they would really love to be sluts but rational assessment/social censure of the risks stops them, I think it's basically the other way round.
(edited 8 years ago)
Bateman's principle
I freely call myself a slut 
men do get slut shamed lol. Certain types of women don't want to date a man-slut.
Same with men.
I'm fine with sluts though.
Same with men.
I'm fine with sluts though.
Depends on the reasons for why they sleep around. If they're just sexually liberal then I tend to find they don't really get criticised. The women who sleep around because they're insecure or do it for some other ulterior motive (such as getting back at someone for example) aren't so noble.
(edited 8 years ago)
It's wrong to slut shame but I think it's ingrained in society that sexual promiscuity is immoral.
A true gentleman should never kiss and tell.
A true gentleman should never kiss and tell.
Original post by pbw
sluts need to be slut-shamed...
....makes it easier for the rest of us. why waste time on a no-goer
....makes it easier for the rest of us. why waste time on a no-goer
but why? why slut shame women and not men when they are doing to exact same thing?
Original post by Ryanx623
Biology.
Quote taken from another thread: 'woman with a lot of sexual partners can be view as having low standards because she is unable to judge who is actually a quality mate'
Men intuitively must understand women are loose cannons who will hop on a random cock if she perceives that guy as being superior. In order to prevent some random guys seminal fluid being ejaculated into his wife/girlfriend/partner/etc the idea that loose women are disgusting must be ingrained in them in order to prevent this from happening.
If a woman has a child; it is nine months of of pregnancy for her. If a man raises another man's child, it is a lifetime of humiliation and evolutionary defeat
Personally I love a good slut.. A good slut knows she's a slut .. And will tell you she's a slut .. So there's no confusion, no deception and you put on a condom and take her for a ride..What I don't like is a slut who acts like a good decent woman, who lies and decieves her way into a good man's heart, cheats and lies and ****s men over. That's what I shame.. Women who cheat and lie and generally lack in morality..
"Slut shaming" is a vague phrase born out of feminism. I'm never quite sure what the **** they mean by it..I find other feminist lingo vague or just a poor use if the English language.... I think it was established quite recently that slut shaming is mainly a female-on-female issue. They use it as a way to improve their own ranking in the hirachy. A slut is no threat to men as long as you don't marry her.
Quote taken from another thread: 'woman with a lot of sexual partners can be view as having low standards because she is unable to judge who is actually a quality mate'
Men intuitively must understand women are loose cannons who will hop on a random cock if she perceives that guy as being superior. In order to prevent some random guys seminal fluid being ejaculated into his wife/girlfriend/partner/etc the idea that loose women are disgusting must be ingrained in them in order to prevent this from happening.
If a woman has a child; it is nine months of of pregnancy for her. If a man raises another man's child, it is a lifetime of humiliation and evolutionary defeat
Personally I love a good slut.. A good slut knows she's a slut .. And will tell you she's a slut .. So there's no confusion, no deception and you put on a condom and take her for a ride..What I don't like is a slut who acts like a good decent woman, who lies and decieves her way into a good man's heart, cheats and lies and ****s men over. That's what I shame.. Women who cheat and lie and generally lack in morality..
"Slut shaming" is a vague phrase born out of feminism. I'm never quite sure what the **** they mean by it..I find other feminist lingo vague or just a poor use if the English language.... I think it was established quite recently that slut shaming is mainly a female-on-female issue. They use it as a way to improve their own ranking in the hirachy. A slut is no threat to men as long as you don't marry her.
lol wow guys read this, for all you people that think guys dont slut shame...
this proves that they do.
Well biologically it is the man's "role" to sleep with as many people as possible to pass on his genes and then **** off. Men don't care about raising the child.
For women it is to raise a child (or more). Now if she slept around and got pregnant off anyone she's unlikely to have someone help look after the child. Male's rarely look after a child if they don't think it's theirs. If the woman is faithful to one guy it is more likely the guy will stay with her and help raise the child so it is in the women's best interest to not sleep around.
That's the biological idea behind it. Men shouldn't be faithful and should sleep around and women should be faithful to make sure they get a good partner who will raise the child. (You see this where guys get ridiculed if they haven't had sex).
(NOTE: I'm talking about the biological and evolutionary reasons here. Do not take what I say as a moral or ethical stand point).
For women it is to raise a child (or more). Now if she slept around and got pregnant off anyone she's unlikely to have someone help look after the child. Male's rarely look after a child if they don't think it's theirs. If the woman is faithful to one guy it is more likely the guy will stay with her and help raise the child so it is in the women's best interest to not sleep around.
That's the biological idea behind it. Men shouldn't be faithful and should sleep around and women should be faithful to make sure they get a good partner who will raise the child. (You see this where guys get ridiculed if they haven't had sex).
(NOTE: I'm talking about the biological and evolutionary reasons here. Do not take what I say as a moral or ethical stand point).
Original post by Leeds98
People 'slut shame' because it's a pretty effective way to control girls and bring down their 'sexual value' and self-esteem. People also do it to men though. That girl who told everyone her ex has a small dick...yeah that's publicly emasculating him to his peers and devaluing him to potential sexual partners. They're both examples of manipulating groups of people against an individual.
.
People 'slut shame' because it's a pretty effective way to control girls and bring down their 'sexual value' and self-esteem. People also do it to men though. That girl who told everyone her ex has a small dick...yeah that's publicly emasculating him to his peers and devaluing him to potential sexual partners. They're both examples of manipulating groups of people against an individual.
.
I agree at least with this part of your post - why men are celebrated for 'conquests' is because they've "pillaged the village" [of the sisterhood] so to speak, initiated a virgin into sex and thus making her more accessible to other men. Whereas a female in the sisterhood is seen as devalued and let down for not keeping a high premium on the collective pussy value of the group [sisterhood] their only bargaining tool to mitigate the power of men.
I believe this is a genetic defence mechanism and will not be undone by a few decades of feminism.
Original post by Foo.mp3
No double standard here, simply not comparable..
nah i still think its double standards tbh even after watching that video
Original post by Foo.mp3
Well, surprising as that is, you're entitled to your opinion, however disconnected from certain worldly realities it may be 
A women should do whatever she wants with her body and not get shamed for it.
Not really fussed what another human being does tbh. I don't even know what slut shaming entails.
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