Sexual crime?

Hi guys,

I was hoping you could give me some advice if possible. In 2009 at the age of 15, a school friend came round to my house and effectively forced me into doing stuff with him. He was 16 at the time. I was very uncomfortable about doing things with him, especially being a guy myself, and I felt he was quite manipulative. For example, he wanted me to masturbate his penis and I did for a short period of time, although I stopped as I felt uncomfortable. When I stopped he kept asking me why I had.

Last month, I decided to report the matter to the police and they have stated they are willing to investigate. It is even worse as I was 15 at the time and couldn't legally consent. He could potentially wind up serving a jail sentence. However, I am unsure whether to take the matter further and would appreciate any advice if possible about what I should do. If I did take it further, there would be the prospect of a drawn out court process.

Reply 1

unprinted

From what you've said - being talked into non-penetrative sex while 15 by a 16 year old, six years ago, with the only evidence being your testimony - unless he said something extremely incriminating while being interviewed, I would doubt he's going to see the inside of a court, let alone do any jail time.

What do you want to happen?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by unprinted

There is evidence of the meeting taking place through instant messaging transcripts prior to it occurring. The transcripts show he was being inappropriate and had planned on possibly having full intercourse with me. After the incident had occurred, he carried on being inappropriate, even though he was likely aware that I was underage.

Whatever happens is not for me to decide, however do you not think he should face justice for his actions?

Reply 3

unprinted

What would justice look like?

Two teenagers message each other about being sexual. They meet up. When they get together, one stops prior to any penetration, and the other one moans about it. It's an unpleasant memory, but unless he says 'Yeah, I get off on having sex with 15 year olds, and if they don't like it, like this one didn't, it's even better', he's not going to be penalised. What he's more likely to say is 'Yes, when I was 16, a school friend (in the same year?) and I messaged each other, and arranged to be sexual. We fooled around a bit and when he stopped, we stopped. We haven't done it again.' That's no case to answer time.

The best justice you can get is to arrange for some counselling around any effects it's still having on you.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by unprinted

I was still below the age of consent and legally could not consent to any of this stuff going on. I did not agree to do anything with him and he manipulated me into doing things. That is why I still have grievances about the whole situation, six years on.

Reply 5

El Salvador

There doesn't have to be penetration for people to be convicted when it concerns the age of consent.

Reply 6

unprinted

Lots of people are sexual under the age of consent with their friends. Some of them regret it. The lesson to learn is about not being manipulated into stuff you don't want to do. And that sex with other men isn't for you.

Would you actually feel better if he was prosecuted for this? I suspect not.

If you want someone to tell you what happened was illegal, yep, it probably was. Did they know you were still 15?

But not every crime gets punished - if it did, almost everyone would be in jail.

No, there doesn't need to be penetration for there to be a crime - unwanted sexual touching of any sort is, for example. But realistically, 'Six years ago, I was talked into something by a friend when 15 and when I stopped, they stopped' isn't going to pass the public interest test for action.

Reply 7

ikhan94

If he was older and he was forcing you to do something against your will, then it probably is a crime then, in which case report it as soon as possible

Reply 8

unprinted

I am still wondering what 'effectively forced' means. The example, the other one moaning when he stopped touching their penis, isn't going to be seen as forcing.