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I really like one of my flatmates at uni but theres a problem

I started uni 4 weeks ago and there is this girl in my flat that I really like. We got talking half way through freshers week and we have a lot in common. She is currently going through some issues that I went through in the past so I am offering her support whenever she needs to and am trying to cheer up. We get on really well. I would have already asked her out by now but she has a boyfriend. She genuinely does seem at her happiest when shes with me and when her boyfriend texts then alot of the time she will complain.

She was on the phone to him last week when I was there and told him she was going to watch a film but when she was going to say it was just he and me, she stopped before my name and changed the subject. Does this sound like she might like me? She complains about him a lot and he has made a lot of awful comments towards her that don't help her at all considering all the issues she is going through. However some of the time she seems to really like him despite how bad he can make her feel so I don't know what to do.

She has told him how the comments make her feel but he just apologises and then continues to make the comments. I asked her why she was with him if he makes her feel awful but she just said that he isn't like that all of the time. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do?
Original post by Anonymous
I started uni 4 weeks ago and there is this girl in my flat that I really like. We got talking half way through freshers week and we have a lot in common. She is currently going through some issues that I went through in the past so I am offering her support whenever she needs to and am trying to cheer up. We get on really well. I would have already asked her out by now but she has a boyfriend. She genuinely does seem at her happiest when shes with me and when her boyfriend texts then alot of the time she will complain.

She was on the phone to him last week when I was there and told him she was going to watch a film but when she was going to say it was just he and me, she stopped before my name and changed the subject. Does this sound like she might like me? She complains about him a lot and he has made a lot of awful comments towards her that don't help her at all considering all the issues she is going through. However some of the time she seems to really like him despite how bad he can make her feel so I don't know what to do.

She has told him how the comments make her feel but he just apologises and then continues to make the comments. I asked her why she was with him if he makes her feel awful but she just said that he isn't like that all of the time. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do?


Starting a relationship with someone in your flat is not always the best idea. You have also only known her 4 weeks. You shouldn't do anything, just continue being friends and see where things go. You will be living with her for at least the next 6/7 months, there is no need to do anything right now.
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 2
I also really care about her and am supporting her through a lot of issues and I genuinely seem to have made a positive impact on her. I don't want to ruin our friendship by telling her how I feel since I don't know how she feels about me. Her boyfriend currently makes a lot of remarks that do upset her a lot and she deserves better than him. I just don't know what to do.
Fuk her boyfriend. Get her in bed then when you hitting it from behind take a photo, send him the pic and text him saying
"Sorry man she was busy".
Original post by ChiefKwen
Fuk her boyfriend. Get her in bed then when you hitting it from behind take a photo, send him the pic and text him saying
"Sorry man she was busy".


omg LOOOL
no please don't do this. I think you should just tell her to break up with him, but DON'T get with her yet?! You've only known her for a month. A lot of things can change and you really do need to focus at uni too. Just see how things go.
Leave it unless they break up. Having a relationship with a flatmate can be really awkward. It'll just be like moving in with a girlfriend except you've only just started dating, you're always with each other and it can be very annoying. And if you break up it can be horrible for you and your flatmates.

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