The Student Room Group

Girlfriend dumping me because i dont have time for her!!!

Ive been dating her for two years now and i really like her, my first long term relationship. However i started uni this year and my life has become extremely busy. I go uni 3 days a week, work 3 days a week and im doing some extra exams to get an accreditation for something. As a result i have hardly anytime to see her, i see her once a week for 1/2 hrs max maybe. She has been complaining ever since and she kind of insinuated yesterday that we should breakup. Its the last thing i want to do but do you think its inevitable?, As much as i like her, I cant stop working or going uni for her.

Scroll to see replies

1hr a week is more than enough, tell her to stop being needy.
Have you tried singing together? Not enough people sing together.

It's working wonders for my marriage.
I do hope my husband, Richard, won't go any lower than a tenor though. I'd like his voice to blend in with mine.
Original post by Anonymous
Ive been dating her for two years now and i really like her, my first long term relationship. However i started uni this year and my life has become extremely busy. I go uni 3 days a week, work 3 days a week and im doing some extra exams to get an accreditation for something. As a result i have hardly anytime to see her, i see her once a week for 1/2 hrs max maybe. She has been complaining ever since and she kind of insinuated yesterday that we should breakup. Its the last thing i want to do but do you think its inevitable?, As much as i like her, I cant stop working or going uni for her.


I will answer your question when you learn to use the word "to" where it should be used.
Original post by Hyacinth Bucket
I do so agree.
I cannot abide by people who miss out words in their sentences.


Next person I see doing it, I'm going slap them.
Original post by WoodyMKC
Next person I see doing it, I'm going slap them.


why are you going do that? :facepalm:
Original post by MathsAstronomy12
why are you going do that? :facepalm:


Because I want do that.
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
Ive been dating her for two years now and i really like her, my first long term relationship. However i started uni this year and my life has become extremely busy. I go uni 3 days a week, work 3 days a week and im doing some extra exams to get an accreditation for something. As a result i have hardly anytime to see her, i see her once a week for 1/2 hrs max maybe. She has been complaining ever since and she kind of insinuated yesterday that we should breakup. Its the last thing i want to do but do you think its inevitable?, As much as i like her, I cant stop working or going uni for her.


Sounds like you've already made your decision, she'll either have to come to a compromise or you'll have to break things off.
3 days a week? Most people I know at uni with girlfriends go in 5 days a week and have more than 1 hour to spare...
She's childish, inconsiderate and completely self-centred. Your typical immature little girl, I dislike girls like this. That's why I like independent women.

She's completely blind to the fact that you have a life and that you're doing important things. She can't see things from your perspective. She expects to be the centre of your universe and she expects you to dedicate your entire life to her...lol. Probably watches too much Hollywood. I think you have to break up with her, find yourself an independent woman who won't complain about you dedicating your time to your work and studies. This little girl is too needy and miserable, you don't need that now man. You need someone who's relaxed and easygoing. I'm sure you already have enough stress in your life, make things easier for yourself and break up with her.
1 or 2 hours a week is very minimal and I can understand why she would feel that way.

Likewise, I understand that you haven't got a lot of spare time in your hands and therefore cannot make time for your girlfriend.

If you can't compromise with seeing her more and that is what she is looking for, then unfortunately it may not work out.
Original post by Plantagenet Crown
3 days a week? Most people I know at uni with girlfriends go in 5 days a week and have more than 1 hour to spare...


Did you miss the part where he said he also works 3 days a week?
Original post by That 2Fase
She's childish, inconsiderate and completely self-centred. Your typical immature little girl, I dislike girls like this. That's why I like independent women.

She's completely blind to the fact that you have a life and that you're doing important things. She can't see things from your perspective. She expects to be the centre of your universe and she expects you to dedicate your entire life to her...lol. Probably watches too much Hollywood. I think you have to break up with her, find yourself an independent woman who won't complain about you dedicating your time to your work and studies. This little girl is too needy and miserable, you don't need that now man. You need someone who's relaxed and easygoing. I'm sure you already have enough stress in your life, make things easier for yourself and break up with her.


Eh hold on a minute. You can't say someone is selfish and self centred if they're wanting to see their boyfriend more than an hour or two hours a week.

Every relationship is different and you and I don't know the ins and outs of their relationship before OP became busier.

Ultimately every person has a different expectation in a relationship and I certainly wouldn't sau that wanting to see someone more makes them petulant as you describe.
Reply 13
**** her, and I don't mean literally.
Original post by DanielleT192
Eh hold on a minute. You can't say someone is selfish and self centred if they're wanting to see their boyfriend more than an hour or two hours a week.

Every relationship is different and you and I don't know the ins and outs of their relationship before OP became busier.

Ultimately every person has a different expectation in a relationship and I certainly wouldn't sau that wanting to see someone more makes them petulant as you describe.


When you demand someone's time while knowing that they're always busy, that's selfish. When you make someone feel as if they've done something wrong if they don't spend time with you despite them being too busy, then that's also selfish. She wants him to abandon and neglect his other commitments and focus his attention on her and she gets upset when he doesn't - childish and selfish. She's absolutely self-centred, not because she wants him to spend more time with her but because she's getting upset with him because he refused to abandon his work and studies and spend time with her. A full grown independent woman with a job would never do that. This girl has no understanding of commitments. That's an alien concept to her.

It's not about her wanting to see him more. It's about her complaining and getting upset that he doesn't spend more time with her while COMPLETELY ignoring the fact that he works, studies and revises throughout the entire week. She thinks she's more important than his work and studies, so clearly she's childish and silly and doesn't understand anything about how life works. Needs to grow up.
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 15
Listen, every individual has their own needs within a relationship. Essentially, a relationship is trying to maintain the differences between two individuals and keeping them under a lid until conflict arises.

True, to some people, she may seem immature and selfish. I think that maybe you two should have a break. It's not fair on either person. I understand that she needs to realize that she's not the most important thing in your life right now, but her needs are just different. See how she feels. In the meantime, you might meet someone who has likeminded interests. I understand it's difficult if it's a long-term relationship.
You're right, never know who might be reading, I might be judged by someone who is unfamiliar with the concept of loose grammar in the context of informal forum chat :eek:
Aw - just dedicate a full day for you and her, she'll love it
Original post by there's too much love
To think none of this would have started if a member of TSR had not chastised another member for accidentally missing out the word 'to' from their original post.


Once again, demonstrating your inability to read thoroughly. They didn't do it by accident, it was done twice. It's a phrase people say - "I'm going uni" or "I go uni" i.e. missing out the "to" and I just happen to think it sounds ridiculous.
I'm actually astounded by your inability to interpret a point, judging by our past discussions, discussions I've seen you have with others, the other thread and now this one.

I'll repeat - the "mistake" (if you can call it that) was made not once, but twice. It's not an oversight in typing, it's a plain incorrect use of phrase. As I've said, it's somewhat common for people to do away with the word "to" in the phrase "go to uni" or "going to uni", probably because they've heard others saying it like that and either assume that's the way to say it (a malapropism) or simply just think it's cool to say it like that. It just happens to catch my attention, especially because it was done twice in one post and is clearly not just a typo.