Having a relationship with a girl that is deaf

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DanB1991

Fecking hell! Even I had my heartstrings go at this one!

Tbh don't let the fact she's deaf be the deciding factor. Atm you're just using notes which as long as you two can communicate is fine. I once knew a young couple who used a mini whiteboard as one of them was deaf, loads of couples find ways around it. Although eventually I would presume you would need to learn sign language eventually though.

Good luck OP, and whatever your decision keep us updated!

Reply 21

hektik

Original post by Anonymous

I can hear perfectly and don't know if it would worth it me learning sign language.

As you know, you don't have to be deaf to learn sign language. Ultimately, it's not " don't know if it would be worth learning sign language" but is she worth learning sign language for, because this girl would be your sole motivation.

Reply 22

Anonymous #1

I was thinking about doing sign language lessons but if doesn't work out, I don't know when I would actually need it again. The hardest part for me is her not being able to talk either so to learn it I would need someone who can hear, I just don't know if its all worth it of not. I feel for her a lot she must be so lonely but she does know other deaf people who might be sort suited to her.

In a way its kind of a good thing as she more understanding of me compared to other girls. Relationships with other girls they tend to just care more about themselves so it really has me falling in love with her.

Reply 23

SK_girl

I graduated university at the worst possible time and by fluke I managed to get a job as a Support Worker at residential home for D/deaf people - this job not only paid my way to what I do now but gave me some other very useful skills too. I learned to sign on the job and if I can do it so can you! It's kind of one of those skills you will never know you will need but you will, I've been called upon to sign (outside work) on numerous occasions (bus station - deaf person trying to explain she'd missed her bus, could she still use her ticket? / car accident - deaf person in a bad way in the passenger seat / A&E - deaf couple discussing which is the best chinese in the area; they were correct too : )

It's a seriously under-rated skill and it will give you a window into a world you would never imagine as there is a parallel culture no-one else knows about. The transferable skills I've learned have also been extremely useful in what I do now too; open-minded / acceptance of other cultures / ability to convey my meaning using visual cues only / confidence in dealing with situations that no-one else would have a clue about.

These are some online sites that offer deaf resources:

http://www.signstation.org/
http://www.british-sign.co.uk/

This is a site that I am not familiar with but it came up on Google:
http://www.learnsignlanguage.co.uk/free-offer/

Also check whether your university / college does a course, quite often additional course on top of your FT one are cheap / free.

Reply 24

Anonymous #2

Love comes in different ways.

Reply 25

doodle_333

Just decide if you like her. If you do then make an effort to communicate, it won't be hard to pick up some signing basics and you can keep writing stuff too. If you don't don't mess her around.

Reply 26

Tiger Rag

Original post by Anonymous

I was thinking about doing sign language lessons but if doesn't work out, I don't know when I would actually need it again.

Still a useful skill to have.

Reply 27

RiotGirll

Original post by Phoebe Buffay

Said nobody ever.

You're extremely immature. You sound like my twelve-year-old cousin :rolleyes:

Reply 28

Phoebe Buffay

Original post by RiotGirll

You're extremely immature. :rofl:

No, I'm simply the only one here who has a grasp on reality. Everybody here is falling over themselves saying how wonderful it is and that he should do it. But in reality, it will take a lot of effort, and the relationship will probably fail too.

Reply 29

TheFarmerLad

Actions speak louder than words

Reply 30

DanB1991

Original post by Phoebe Buffay

God and I thought the 'forever yours' wedding dress shop was optimistic......

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 31

JC.

Get your friend to teach you. A new word every day and you'll have it down in a year.

Even if it doesn't work out you're aquiring a new skill which might be useful in future.

Reply 32

Ethereal21foreva

Everybody needs somebody, as hard as it may seem she was probably praying for someone to love her despite her condition.

Reply 33

Phoebe Buffay

Original post by DanB1991

God and I thought the 'forever yours' wedding dress shop was optimistic......

It's true though. I would have thought what I said to the OP would be taken as good news?

Reply 34

DanB1991

Original post by Phoebe Buffay

It's true though. I would have thought what I said to the OP would be taken as good news?

Well the relationship intrinsically has no further reason to fail a relationship any more than another relationship....... Yeah OP thinking about it, odds are it is going to fail in the scheme of things :laugh:

Reply 35

affluentmakaveli

Original post by Anonymous

I met this deaf girl at the beginning of the month, she is a flatmate of one of my mates. She asked to come up so she is included as she is new to the town.

I didn't know she deaf at the start so I assumed she was really shy. She wrote on a piece of paper that she couldn't hear and asked if I knew sign language

, I don't. Since then I talked to her a lot on facebook and by text so I understand how she feels and when I'm face to face I have to have a written conversation

on paper otherwise she very hard to talk to.

She asked if could hang out at mine after a busy

night, I was like yeah sure. We watched TV together with subtitles on, when suddenly my phone buzzed to get a text from her saying can she go in my bedroom.

So we ended up having sex together and now she became very attached to me. I think she's not use to people who can hear trying to get know her. For me I don't know how it could work. I can hear perfectly and don't know if it would worth it me learning sign language.

I don't how to go about it really. would like some advice please especially from anyone else who is deaf

Do what your heart tells you :smile:

Reply 36

Phoebe Buffay

Original post by DanB1991

They're young those relationships generally do. As with her being deaf, it's a lot of work.

Reply 37

DanB1991

Original post by Phoebe Buffay

They're young those relationships generally do. As with her being deaf, it's a lot of work.

Women generally are... at least you don;t have to bother with small talk.... :dance:

Also I don't think older relationships really are any different.... at least the ones I've witnessed.

Original post by Phoebe Buffay

Please

Christ! You are a bundle of joy today!

Reply 38

Alrounder79

If having to learn sign language comes in the way of your work (in your job, university or whatever), I would say it's not worth it. If you really think it'll work out though, maybe you'd want to make that sacrifice of your work suffering?