Speaking to a married man? Should I stop?

Original post by chocolate hottie

Why is talking to him wrong? And if he leaves a loveless marriage for the OP (assuming he does, obviously that may not happen) would THAT be wrong?

Are we supposed to be unhappy all our lives because we make a mistake and marry the wrong person? Is it better for children to grow up in an environment of anger and bitterness and hatred?

It is all very well being unpleasantly judgemental, moralistic and holier than thou but the world isn't like that, it is messy. And we none of us know the exact circumstances of this situation.

I would advise the OP to follow her heart, but to exercise great care. I don't know enough about the situation to regard it in such black and white, right and wrong terms.

Life isn't black and white it is grey.

I'm not saying this man should be unhappy forever I'm saying if he's clearly unhappy he needs to end his marriage before he moves on to other options BEcAuSE if he does not do so he will cause a lot more damage, upset and a 'MESSy' world because he won't have only fallen out of love with his wife (which is hard enough to accept) but he will have also betrayed her. I think she should take a step back and let him sort his **** out before she starts the relationship. No life isn't black and white but there's ways of going about things to minimise the hurt caused and she really is in the wrong if she chooses to opt for the selfish route

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 22

Mr Flak Jacket

6

Carry on and you'll only be reserving a nice warm seat right by the fire in hell.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 23

Original post by Mr Flak Jacket

Carry on and you'll only be reserving a nice warm seat right by the fire in hell.

Love it hahahaha

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 24

username47781

20

Don't see whats wrong with talking to him and just being friends, long as you don't actually be more than that, I don't see where the issue is.

Reply 25

Original post by Rock Fan

Don't see whats wrong with talking to him and just being friends, long as you don't actually be more than that, I don't see where the issue is.

They're not just friends though that's the problem

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 26

alexh42

12

Don't be a homewrecker

Reply 27

Simes

16

Original post by halliethestudent

They're not just friends though that's the problem

In her original post she says they are only friends and they have not yet met.

Reply 28

LillyFaye

4

Honest? if it's a loveless marriage, he needs to grow some balls and end it, or talk to his wife.. the mother of his 9 year old son and the innocent person. If you ever take advantage of the fact he tells you he's in a loveless marriage, you should be ashamed. But I think you're reading too much into it.

Reply 29

Original post by Simes

In her original post she says they are only friends and they have not yet met.

But they're clearly not friends or from her perspective anyway she does not perceive him as a friend because she's hoping to break up his marriage

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 30

username2176541

17

Original post by Alittlelostsheep

I am speaking online to a married man. It started off through a comment on his blog(he is an atheist blogger) and I was curious to explore. I now text him and we exchange texts everyday. He is married with a kid and 9 years older than me. I am 22. There is an event going on next month and we have both agreed we might be attending. So far its all innocent but I feel comfort speaking to him. He has a good job, has similar views to me(his wife doesnt) and we share a common ground. My instincts are saying no but what if he divorced as he is currently having issuesin his marriage. I obviously do not want to break them up but if we could talk until she is out of the picture or not? Help?

See bold and italics for your contradiction.

People thinking like this is what's wrong in the world.

Reply 31

Zarek

Bonkers. You're 22. Find someone single without a kid.

Reply 32

FingersXed84

11

Forget the moral aspect of this. It’s very simple. He won’t leave his wife. Presuming he’s not lying about his age or anything else immediately obviously then, if he turns up, it will be for sex. Men lie for sex all the time. Married men considering leaving their wives especially. You see the big issue with her won’t be that she doesn’t understand him or that they aren’t having sex anymore. It will just be that things have got boring because all relationships do with time. And that’s why you should never get involved with married men. The best result is that he leaves his wife and dumps you 10 years later for a newer model. The worst (and more likely) result is that he just used you to keep his marriage afloat. You will look up to him, stroke his ego and give him sex. And he will be happy at home because he’s got that excitement he is missing. In no scenario do you win. On the plus side, if you do insist on pursuing him and she finds out then she can see him for the lying creep he is.

Reply 33

JayJ2001

11

Original post by Alittlelostsheep

I am speaking online to a married man. It started off through a comment on his blog(he is an atheist blogger) and I was curious to explore. I now text him and we exchange texts everyday. He is married with a kid and 9 years older than me. I am 22. There is an event going on next month and we have both agreed we might be attending. So far its all innocent but I feel comfort speaking to him. He has a good job, has similar views to me(his wife doesnt) and we share a common ground. My instincts are saying no but what if he divorced as he is currently having issuesin his marriage. I obviously do not want to break them up but if we could talk until she is out of the picture or not? Help?

My Advice: Don't get too personal, set up boundaries in this "relationship", don't cross lines. If you start to develop romantic feelings for this guy, call it quits (if he is still with his wife), if his wife is not okay with the relationship between you and him, call it quits, and if your relationship with the husband strains his relationship with his wife, call it quits. You don't want to be the reason a family breaks apart, especially since the guy has a young child.

Reply 34

Jasyy

14

There are lots of men out there and you go for a married one.. No cancelled dont be that person thats just horrible

Reply 35

username3890778

Original post by Anonymous

Allow it fam

my exact thoughts

Reply 36

Laurence010401

For now, be friends with him and nothing more

Reply 37

Anonymous #2

Original post by Laurence010401

For now, be friends with him and nothing more

This post was made 3 years ago dude

Reply 38

Laurence010401

Original post by Anonymous

This post was made 3 years ago dude

And?

Reply 39

That'sGreat