Think I saw/found a porn video with my partner on it...serious thread..advice needed.
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I think I'd have to say something xD either show her the video and see her reaction (although if it is here then she may be upset) or tell her that you've found this weird video online and you think it is her (don't say what it is at first, just watch her reaction ). I feel like this is the kind of thing you have to know xD
Original post by lucy_98
you're completely right. i'm just saying it seems like a somewhat logical conclusion to me. that he has seen this woman and made a connection to his own girlfriend, and has then attempted to rationalise a bizarre coincidence. what are the chances that his girlfriend is actually this girl from the porn?
Lol well think about how many adults have been involved in porn, probably atleast 1/500 so it's possible, If I saw my girl on redtube with someone going balls deep in her, the last thing I'd be thinking of is guilt, in-fact I'd be getting tested
Original post by Anonymous
snip just quoting so he gets a boop
Lotta porn sites have a thing under the video somewhere so you can find out what pornstar is in the video. If the person in question has been in more than one video then she might have a thing under the vid so you can see if it's your gal. That said:
Original post by Anonymous
The bedsheets are rather unique in their patterning. I think if I saw them again (at hers) I'd recognise straight away. I seem to recall vaguely that I've seen sheets of such sorts before. Whether in her old place (flat) or in the current house she lives. I've certainly seen them before.
The towel, is pretty recognisable. Its a simple tan brown towel. Very common. I can imagine many people have the same one. But I know for sure she has one anyways.
T-Shirt, same as towel. It is a plain one colour tee- (a shade of Red), which I have also seen her wear.
The towel, is pretty recognisable. Its a simple tan brown towel. Very common. I can imagine many people have the same one. But I know for sure she has one anyways.
T-Shirt, same as towel. It is a plain one colour tee- (a shade of Red), which I have also seen her wear.
The sheets might be unique, but the other two things literally anybody could have so not a great evidence, more likely you're overthinking those features cuz confirmation bias.
Original post by lucy_98
if this is not a complete troll, you're feeling guilty because you were watching porn. you noticed similarities between your girlfriend and the woman, and now you're attempting to justify it.
I was waiting for someone to tell me I was a troll/or trolling; which I'm not.
Quite honesty, I am not feeling guilty about viewing porn. She knows I view porn, and has no issue with it- and so she shouldn't- its healthy to watch porn, even in a relationship. She's watched porn before- no biggie.
Perhaps I did notice similarities, (if it indeed isnt her), the point is, I am not seeking to justify anything. I make no effort to disguise the fact I watched porn, nor do I feel bad.
Stop trying to detract from the subject. This isn't necessarily about me, tis about her.
I'm honestly shocked at the amount of seemingly negative responses I'm getting here. Though, thanks to those whom shared their honest and serious opinions.
This issue is rather disconcerting; I have issues with mental health- anxiety and depression as it is, and this is flaring it up
This issue is rather disconcerting; I have issues with mental health- anxiety and depression as it is, and this is flaring it up
Seriously!? Why are so many of you so disgusted. It's sex. It happens! The worst part is you all probably **** on a regular basis over this "disgusting, despicable behaviour" lol. If you're going to dump your fianceé over the fact she's had sex with someone else that's just ridiculous. Sure, it's fine to be upset about the fact that this video is on the Internet but if it's going to bother you to the point of contemplating dumping her then you need to speak to her about it and, if it is her, get her to have it taken down. You knew she'd had sex with other people, nothing has actually changed.
Original post by Retired_Messiah
Lotta porn sites have a thing under the video somewhere so you can find out what pornstar is in the video. If the person in question has been in more than one video then she might have a thing under the vid so you can see if it's your gal. That said:
The sheets might be unique, but the other two things literally anybody could have so not a great evidence, more likely you're overthinking those features cuz confirmation bias.
The sheets might be unique, but the other two things literally anybody could have so not a great evidence, more likely you're overthinking those features cuz confirmation bias.
I agree, perhaps my evidence isn't the most solid. But still its the fear of unknown that bothers me.
I will see about the other such things you mention and I will look into the uploader details and what not else to see if I can gleam anymore details. Last resort is for me to ask her, because as you all might have gathered, it is risky. If it isn't her, I have a lot of problems coming my way- after all whom wants to be accused of being in a porno vid if it wasn't you?
Anyhow, thank you for your contribution
Original post by david_94
Lol well think about how many adults have been involved in porn, probably atleast 1/500 so it's possible, If I saw my girl on redtube with someone going balls deep in her, the last thing I'd be thinking of is guilt, in-fact I'd be getting tested
I second this, and it reflects how I feel.
Although, I kind of feel some sense of disappointment and envy.
Original post by xOHarriet
Seriously!? Why are so many of you so disgusted. It's sex. It happens! The worst part is you all probably **** on a regular basis over this "disgusting, despicable behaviour" lol. If you're going to dump your fianceé over the fact she's had sex with someone else that's just ridiculous. Sure, it's fine to be upset about the fact that this video is on the Internet but if it's going to bother you to the point of contemplating dumping her then you need to speak to her about it and, if it is her, get her to have it taken down. You knew she'd had sex with other people, nothing has actually changed.
This. Similarly, what good could come of speaking to her about this?
At best she isn't bothered because it isn't her. At worst she reacts badly because it is her and you're essentially shaming her over her past, and you feel even worse than you do now.
If you have any inkling at all that it's her, put it out of your mind and leave well alone. You're better off not knowing.
Original post by xOHarriet
Seriously!? Why are so many of you so disgusted. It's sex. It happens! The worst part is you all probably **** on a regular basis over this "disgusting, despicable behaviour" lol. If you're going to dump your fianceé over the fact she's had sex with someone else that's just ridiculous. Sure, it's fine to be upset about the fact that this video is on the Internet but if it's going to bother you to the point of contemplating dumping her then you need to speak to her about it and, if it is her, get her to have it taken down. You knew she'd had sex with other people, nothing has actually changed.
To be fair though, it must have been one bad porno if he's on here complaining about it. Share the link mate.
Original post by Anonymous
I agree, perhaps my evidence isn't the most solid. But still its the fear of unknown that bothers me.
I will see about the other such things you mention and I will look into the uploader details and what not else to see if I can gleam anymore details. Last resort is for me to ask her, because as you all might have gathered, it is risky. If it isn't her, I have a lot of problems coming my way- after all whom wants to be accused of being in a porno vid if it wasn't you?
Anyhow, thank you for your contribution
I will see about the other such things you mention and I will look into the uploader details and what not else to see if I can gleam anymore details. Last resort is for me to ask her, because as you all might have gathered, it is risky. If it isn't her, I have a lot of problems coming my way- after all whom wants to be accused of being in a porno vid if it wasn't you?
Anyhow, thank you for your contribution
If you watched it on pornhub master race chances are if the girl's relatively popular then her name will just be directly under the video if you click the button that lets you see all the details.
As for broaching the subject, if she's relatively chill with porn and you're able to talk about this sort of topic with her (some people are like eugh no porn and urgh no talking about it. I wouldn't date somebody like that but people do and if you do then this won't apply. Hot damn deez long brackets) then just be like "Hey I was watching a porn the other day and the girl in it looked just like you". If she suddenly looks mad shocked then well that's sign of... something.
Original post by xOHarriet
Seriously!? Why are so many of you so disgusted. It's sex. It happens! The worst part is you all probably **** on a regular basis over this "disgusting, despicable behaviour" lol. If you're going to dump your fianceé over the fact she's had sex with someone else that's just ridiculous. Sure, it's fine to be upset about the fact that this video is on the Internet but if it's going to bother you to the point of contemplating dumping her then you need to speak to her about it and, if it is her, get her to have it taken down. You knew she'd had sex with other people, nothing has actually changed.
Is this wholly directed at me for my dismay of her character?
It is completely understandable for me to feel this way. Like it or not, it does change your perspective on people. If you had seen a video of your boyfriend/partner having wild sex with a women and he was getting his 'rocks off' with her- your not telling me you wouldn't feel any deep sense of pain/anger/resentment or otherwise feel something on a deep emotional level. Notice I haven't even brought into the equation when a video may be posted. Whenever the video is posted is the next hurdle.
Whether a video is a depiction of whom she used to be, or her sexual behaviour or not, whether its 'just sex' is also irrelevant to me, because to me 'it isn't just sex'. Because our opinions obviously differ.
So many people can detach from this, and say "oh well its just sex". But it really is not. Yes I've had sex/we've had sex, difference is not 'everyone' has posted shenanigans online for all and sundry to view.
Its a bit like that news report recently, about Uni students escorting themselves out- I think its disgusting, and almost meets the level of these online porn issues (in my eyes).
At the end of the day its' not just the fact the video is accessible to the public (which is one major factor- recklessness) but also, the fact I had to endure watching another man do that to my fiancee.
I knew she'd had sex of course- did I know I'd have to endure a visual representation of it? Absolutely not!
Original post by =incognito=
This. Similarly, what good could come of speaking to her about this?
At best she isn't bothered because it isn't her. At worst she reacts badly because it is her and you're essentially shaming her over her past, and you feel even worse than you do now.
If you have any inkling at all that it's her, put it out of your mind and leave well alone. You're better off not knowing.
At best she isn't bothered because it isn't her. At worst she reacts badly because it is her and you're essentially shaming her over her past, and you feel even worse than you do now.
If you have any inkling at all that it's her, put it out of your mind and leave well alone. You're better off not knowing.
Both of your viewpoints are valid.
Problem is, this "inkling" is the cause of alot of anxiety at the moment. These last few months I've had many major life stressors. I already see a therapist for emotional problems. This has just brought much to the surface.
Wonder how i'm going to bring this up in my therapy next week! :/
Original post by lucy_98
you're completely right. i'm just saying it seems like a somewhat logical conclusion to me. that he has seen this woman and made a connection to his own girlfriend, and has then attempted to rationalise a bizarre coincidence. what are the chances that his girlfriend is actually this girl from the porn?
With all the porn videos on the net? something like 1/765,456,789 chance.
Original post by Retired_Messiah
If you watched it on pornhub master race chances are if the girl's relatively popular then her name will just be directly under the video if you click the button that lets you see all the details.
As for broaching the subject, if she's relatively chill with porn and you're able to talk about this sort of topic with her (some people are like eugh no porn and urgh no talking about it. I wouldn't date somebody like that but people do and if you do then this won't apply. Hot damn deez long brackets) then just be like "Hey I was watching a porn the other day and the girl in it looked just like you". If she suddenly looks mad shocked then well that's sign of... something.
As for broaching the subject, if she's relatively chill with porn and you're able to talk about this sort of topic with her (some people are like eugh no porn and urgh no talking about it. I wouldn't date somebody like that but people do and if you do then this won't apply. Hot damn deez long brackets) then just be like "Hey I was watching a porn the other day and the girl in it looked just like you". If she suddenly looks mad shocked then well that's sign of... something.
It wasn't any of those you mentioned. Though relatively middle ground. A rung below YouPorn really. As far as I was aware a lot of the videos are just amateur submissions so randomers. The titles always start with Wife or have the word Wife in there, but like I say, it doesn't matter what the title says, its the content. People re-submit porn all the time under different names and what not. It is entirely possible it was re-submitted and passed about (details changed etc.) Its the internet (unfortunately).
Original post by david_94
To be fair though, it must have been one bad porno if he's on here complaining about it. Share the link mate.
It wasn't the worlds most intense/hardcore porno, but equally it involved me having to watch someone I love being penetrated by someone other than myself. I think most blokes would have problems with that.
I will not share the link. Sharing the link will only make me stoop lower, plus I don't want to breach TSR rules.
Original post by Anonymous
Both of your viewpoints are valid.
Problem is, this "inkling" is the cause of alot of anxiety at the moment. These last few months I've had many major life stressors. I already see a therapist for emotional problems. This has just brought much to the surface.
Wonder how i'm going to bring this up in my therapy next week! :/
Problem is, this "inkling" is the cause of alot of anxiety at the moment. These last few months I've had many major life stressors. I already see a therapist for emotional problems. This has just brought much to the surface.
Wonder how i'm going to bring this up in my therapy next week! :/
Yeah, I haven't had this happen to me but I appreciate it's not a nice position to be in.
To clarify, I wasn't saying you should "deal with it" or anything like that; my point was that whilst this is evidently causing you some anxiety, this is likely preferable to the outcomes where your partner resents you for your negative reaction, or you feel a conflict between your love for her and your visceral reaction of disgust if you discover it is her.Instead of focusing on the things that suggest it is her, try and look at it objectively like you're on a jury (without the "judgement" of her) - can you say beyond reasonable doubt that it's her?
So far you have a red T shirt and a brown towel, which I could probably source within 24 hours given how common they are. You have some moans, which are fairly generic (just look at the amount of porn with dubbed audio which is "convincing" as the original performers' voices until the end). You didn't see her face. The POV view you have also likely doesn't give an accurate indicator of her vagina - my ex had a septate hymen and we only discovered this a year and a half after having regular sex. Evidently I didn't know her as well as I thought.
All in all, I'm not convinced it is her from what you've told us, but let's assume that it is. Leaving aside the effect it's having on you thinking about how it may be her, how is she likely to react if it was posted without consent?
If it's playing on your mind this much, by all means tell your therapist. Just lead in with "so something has been playing on my mind this week", and go from there. They won't judge you for it, and everything on this topic should be confidential. Better out than in, ans better in a controlled environment with an independent third party.
Feel free to drop me a PM if you'd like to talk some more.
Original post by Anonymous
N.B: This thread is a serious one, and although I fully expect lots of immature comments, they will be disregarded due to the nature of the issue at hand. Also, this thread isn't intended to break any rules or request sex tips. It is purely to ask advice.
Okay so, last night I was browsing through porn on the internet, and I came across one which was entitled along the lines of "...hot wife gets c*****ie".
I clicked on it with anticipation, and as it loaded up- I see a woman on the larger side. She has a shirt on, but no underwear/trousers, and a man is penetrating her (from point of view angle), in what looks like unprotected sex in missionary until he ejaculates.
I notice that when she moans it sounds familiar, however there were more things, as below.
The things which leapt out me most are:
A) The womans body shape/build is the same as my partner. Big breasted, larger lady. With flush red skin in areas.
B) I notice the bed sheets are familiar- I recall my partner having a very similar one.
C) The girl in the picture was moaning, and it sounded very alike to how my partner moans during sex.
D) This is going to sound odd; but the girls Vagina looked like my partners. I know there will be many thousands of girls with potentially the same type of Vagina, same look, feel etc etc. But it really did look like hers- and I should know given I've had sex with her a lot.
E) She had a towel underneath her and it also looks like one she owns.
F) She was wearing a particular t-shirt (and colour) which I also recognise.
I've realised that many of these factors may see bewildering and far-fetched. But honestly, it gave me a weird feeling when I watched it and all of these factors gave me a sickly feeling. Of course, there is a possibility it isn't her, maybe a high one.
Unfortunately, I am not put to ease with my concerns, because the profile of the girl is shown POV, however the filming only goes as far as to show her upper body and her neck/under chin. So I didn't get to see her face. Therefore, I have no proof or respite.
I can't come out and tell her about it, because if I am wrong I can imagine her getting very angry and possibly dump me.
At the same time, I can't help but look over and over it. Its too eerie. The way the girl moans, her body-shape, her Vagina, and the bedsheets. :/
The date stamp noted it at 2013 so was before we got together. Still feel sick and a bit jealous about it.
Of course, the title was baffling, but I guess the uploader could put any title or change the upload date.
I just hope if it is her, she didn't do this while with me.
tl:dr:
Think I saw my partner in a sex video- but can't be too sure. Lots of familiar sights. Read above for more info.
What to do?
Okay so, last night I was browsing through porn on the internet, and I came across one which was entitled along the lines of "...hot wife gets c*****ie".
I clicked on it with anticipation, and as it loaded up- I see a woman on the larger side. She has a shirt on, but no underwear/trousers, and a man is penetrating her (from point of view angle), in what looks like unprotected sex in missionary until he ejaculates.
I notice that when she moans it sounds familiar, however there were more things, as below.
The things which leapt out me most are:
A) The womans body shape/build is the same as my partner. Big breasted, larger lady. With flush red skin in areas.
B) I notice the bed sheets are familiar- I recall my partner having a very similar one.
C) The girl in the picture was moaning, and it sounded very alike to how my partner moans during sex.
D) This is going to sound odd; but the girls Vagina looked like my partners. I know there will be many thousands of girls with potentially the same type of Vagina, same look, feel etc etc. But it really did look like hers- and I should know given I've had sex with her a lot.
E) She had a towel underneath her and it also looks like one she owns.
F) She was wearing a particular t-shirt (and colour) which I also recognise.
I've realised that many of these factors may see bewildering and far-fetched. But honestly, it gave me a weird feeling when I watched it and all of these factors gave me a sickly feeling. Of course, there is a possibility it isn't her, maybe a high one.
Unfortunately, I am not put to ease with my concerns, because the profile of the girl is shown POV, however the filming only goes as far as to show her upper body and her neck/under chin. So I didn't get to see her face. Therefore, I have no proof or respite.
I can't come out and tell her about it, because if I am wrong I can imagine her getting very angry and possibly dump me.
At the same time, I can't help but look over and over it. Its too eerie. The way the girl moans, her body-shape, her Vagina, and the bedsheets. :/
The date stamp noted it at 2013 so was before we got together. Still feel sick and a bit jealous about it.
Of course, the title was baffling, but I guess the uploader could put any title or change the upload date.
I just hope if it is her, she didn't do this while with me.
tl:dr:
Think I saw my partner in a sex video- but can't be too sure. Lots of familiar sights. Read above for more info.
What to do?
Think of it as a plus. Now you dont have to bother to ask her for nude pics.
Watch the porn again, except with your girlfriend this time. See her reaction.
Original post by Ahmed766
1)If you're in a relationship then why were you watching porn?
.
.
lol clear from this comment you havent been in many relationships
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