Idk if she is interested or just wants to be friends, how do I progress?

I want to start of by saying I'm actually a pretty confident guy, I'm good looking, in amazing shape and so on.. It's just I've never actually tried the whole dating thing... Not saying I'm a virgin or anything but I usually just sleep with people as like one night stands and stuff.

I've known this girl a few months, let's call her Jane, I met her through a mutual friend at a gig. I ended up really getting taken away by her and asked our mutual friend (let's call her soph) if she was single and how I was interested. It somehow got out between her friends and pretty sure she found out that I was interested. We texted for a tiny bit and then I asked her if she wanted to spend some time together, get to know each other and get high, like just the two of us. Didn't actually get a reply so I didn't send her any more messages after that...

Then summer happened and we didn't talk until we both got back to uni like a month ago. I got invited on a night out by soph and the predrinks were at Jane's house. So me and Jane ended up sticking together the whole night just the two of us and talking loads and dancing, and then she went in to kiss me but I moved out of it because I was gurning (from MDMA) loads and knew it would not end well if I did start kissing her, also my dick wouldn't have worked either way sooo..

We started texting again, I invited her to a morning rave that started at 6am. We got there and had a great time and then went to our seperate 9am lectures. I then invited her out for drinks to an art museum, but she was busy that night but asked me out to go with her to the Buddhist centre later that week. I replied with a "If I get enough uni work done I'd love to come with you" sort of message and asked when she planned on going. And once again she ignored me and I did not get a reply to this..

I then saw her at a house party that I was invited to which I got to at like 3am, I didn't know she would be there and I was out at a few bars before the house party as well. There defo is a connection. Everyone in the room saw how excited she got when she saw me and it actually went quite in the room when she practically jumped on me to hug me, we both get so so happy when we see each other, and I've defo made it known that I do really really enjoy spending time with her, so we spent the rest of the night talking again before we both went home. I restarted the conversation on facebook and asked her if she wanted to go to an Astronomy lecture with me. She replied and sounded really excited for it, I also sent her a message to have like a crash course in Astronomy from me at like a quite pub somewhere so she actually has some background knowledge on Astronomy before the lecture (cause at this point she doesn't even know the difference between Astronomy and Astrology...) To which she once again ignored me for a while, I got a message back like a week later saying that she's been really busy with uni work and that's why she hasn't replied and said that her best friend was coming to visit on friday (so three days ago) and was wondering if we could all meet up and go to an event together and asked if I knew of anything happening in the city, and I could give both of them a crash course instead, to which I replied with an event and said it sounded fun.

Then once again she ignored me until today (so the Friday with her and her best friend didn't happen), she said something along the lines of "omg I wish I'd seen this I would have gone [to the event]!! When's the Astrology lecture again?"

Now I've not actually replied to this yet, cause it sort of pissed me off and here we are. I'm just quite conflicted with the whole getting ignored situation, cause that's actually never happened to me! The way I see it is if she was interested she wouldn't be ignoring my messages.. Then again she could be really **** at replying to messages but I'm not even sure that's a thing given we instantly get message notifications to our phones from facebook and stuff.

Idk I guess I'm just finding it hard given I've never dated someone, not because I can't it's more to do with I've not actually been interested until I met her, which is actually making me really nervous. I just feel like she's being very on and off with me.

I was thinking of like when I'm walking her home after the lecture that I could try holding her hand (Good idea? Cringey? Does this stuff only happen in the movies?) and then just try and kiss her when I'm outside her door? I should also add that on top of everything else it's also making me nervous on how I've never actually kissed anyone sober..

Dyou guys have any tips or advice on the situation?? Am I looking too much into things?

Also super sorry for such a long ass post

Reply 1

phunky_fresh

I think you need to establish why she is being so wishy washy with you first. Did she not ignore you a good 5 times already? I would straight up ask why she's been ignoring you. I mean if I was interested in someone I would reply to their messages. Yes, people do get busy but not to the point where they forget to reply entirely.

Reply 2

Alexion

TL;DR

Can you sum it up a bit? It's too late for feature-length walls of text :unimpressed:

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by phunky_fresh

She's fully ignored me twice now and just not gotten back to me, the other times she has replied but it's been like 5-7 days later.. I'm still annoyed at the whole "Offering to do something and then just not responding and pretending like it never happened" It's just so ****...
I could ask her when I see her on Wednesday but it would make things awkward and make me come across as being clingey and stuff

Original post by Alexion

TL;DR

Can you sum it up a bit? It's too late for feature-length walls of text :unimpressed:

Sorry
[TL

R]:
I've never dated anyone before
Found a girl that I genuinely actually like
We texted, I asked her out and she just didn't reply
Saw her after we got back to uni a month a go and we instantly clicked
She tried kissing me but I backed away
Started texting her again and asked her out again, she replied with she was busy but asked if I wanted to do something else with her, I replied with yes and then she just didnt reply after that
Asked her out again and we had a great time
Asked her out again she said yes, and then ignored me again
I'm seeing her on wednesday when we go to an event together.

I just feel like she's being very on and off with me.and don't really know how to progress..
Right this is a very **** tl;dr lol

Reply 4

ikhan94

I just saw the first bit couldnt be bothered reading the rest sorry :colondollar:

but it seems shes playing hard to get

Reply 5

phunky_fresh

Original post by Anonymous

Yeahhh. You should drop her out. Sounds like she's just wasting your time here. There's playing hard to get and there's taking the absolute piss and she my friend is doing just that. Don't message her again, still be polite and say hi when you see her, but don't give her too much of your attention. She'll either pick up on this and start contacting you out of the blue or she'll not be bothered at all. Either way I think it's time you moved on to the next one.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by phunky_fresh

Yh I may very well do this after Wednesday and see what kind of reception I get from her. Nevertheless we are still meeting up on Wednesday, and I feel like I should give it one last shot and truly make it clear what my intentions are. So I still do need a plan of action,