Girls, would you want to be told...
...if your guy friend really fancied you but expected nothing to come from telling you? I have immense feelings for a girl at uni but I'm pretty certain that it's not mutual. There have been some signs I guess but I'm probably overthinking them and wanting them to mean something when in fact they do not. I don't fear being rejected per se, but I am afraid that telling her will make the friendship awkward which is the last thing I want because talking to her makes my day so much brighter.
So yeah, if you were the girl in this position, would you want to be told? I've read a lot of posts on here which say I should probably just ask her out because even if she says no it will be a compliment. On top of this our timetables change on Friday so I will barely ever see her any more, so maybe I should just go for it anyway since it won't matter. But I'm not sure, I'm so confused
please give me some advice! Would you want to know and if so, how exactly should I go about telling her? My plan was to wait until after friday and then do it over social media but now I'm not so sure
So yeah, if you were the girl in this position, would you want to be told? I've read a lot of posts on here which say I should probably just ask her out because even if she says no it will be a compliment. On top of this our timetables change on Friday so I will barely ever see her any more, so maybe I should just go for it anyway since it won't matter. But I'm not sure, I'm so confused
please give me some advice! Would you want to know and if so, how exactly should I go about telling her? My plan was to wait until after friday and then do it over social media but now I'm not so sureScroll to see replies
Whatever you tell her, don't do it over social media.
If I liked him, I'd ask upfront but I don't know what I'd do if I didn't like him back
I actually wouldn't want to be told in this case
Probably just going to leave it then which is kinda sad, but at least it won't be awkward. I wish she would just ask directly ._.
which is kinda sad, but at least it won't be awkward. I wish she would just ask directly ._.
Original post by binarythoughts
I actually wouldn't want to be told in this case
I have to agree with this. I think telling her (if you're certain the feeling is not mutual) would only complicate things and turn into something super awkward. I've seen it happen before with my friends. It could jeopardize your friendship with her because the resulting awkwardness might be... too awkward.
Also, don't do it over social media. Just no.
I think your best bet if you want to remain friends with her is to just try to get over her for the sake of your friendship or wait for her to see you that way. But waiting for her to feel the same might not be a good idea.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by godivaontherocks
I have to agree with this. I think telling her (if you're certain the feeling is not mutual) would only complicate things and turn into something super awkward. I've seen it happen before with my friends. It could jeopardize your friendship with her because the resulting awkwardness might be... too awkward.
I'm barely going to see her any more though is the thing, like friday will be the last day then basically never again
so there's not much to lose. But I think I will stay on the safe side, for her sake if nothing elseI also want to add that despite my best efforts, I think I've given off every indication of my feelings for her in my body language and actions etc so I'm pretty sure she knows anyway
If you've not noticed any signs of her liking you back then you will just be putting unnecessary pressure on her which may lead to her breaking off contact.
Original post by Cremated_Spatula
If you've not noticed any signs of her liking you back then you will just be putting unnecessary pressure on her which may lead to her breaking off contact.
True, but I have to admit I'm very inexperienced with these things so I don't really know what I'm looking for
Original post by Anonymous
...if your guy friend really fancied you but expected nothing to come from telling you? I have immense feelings for a girl at uni but I'm pretty certain that it's not mutual. There have been some signs I guess but I'm probably overthinking them and wanting them to mean something when in fact they do not. I don't fear being rejected per se, but I am afraid that telling her will make the friendship awkward which is the last thing I want because talking to her makes my day so much brighter.
So yeah, if you were the girl in this position, would you want to be told? I've read a lot of posts on here which say I should probably just ask her out because even if she says no it will be a compliment. On top of this our timetables change on Friday so I will barely ever see her any more, so maybe I should just go for it anyway since it won't matter. But I'm not sure, I'm so confused please give me some advice! Would you want to know and if so, how exactly should I go about telling her? My plan was to wait until after friday and then do it over social media but now I'm not so sure
So yeah, if you were the girl in this position, would you want to be told? I've read a lot of posts on here which say I should probably just ask her out because even if she says no it will be a compliment. On top of this our timetables change on Friday so I will barely ever see her any more, so maybe I should just go for it anyway since it won't matter. But I'm not sure, I'm so confused
please give me some advice! Would you want to know and if so, how exactly should I go about telling her? My plan was to wait until after friday and then do it over social media but now I'm not so sureThe thing is are you okay with losing her (or getting awkward around her) after you confess and she rejects you? Or are you okay with just being 'friends' and being able to see her with another man/woman someday without her clearly knowing about your feeling?
I mean I'd personally tell her because 'Life is too short' and there are '7 billion people in this world' it's not just her that you will fall in love with... Anyway it's your choice. Good luck
Oh and there can be a possibility that she likes you.
Knowing someone likes you is a massive compliment (go u!!!!) but it can also make you panicky and loads of pressures on you, so knowing he just wanted you to know but doesn't actually want anything is a major 10/10 thing u da bomb pal
Original post by ImagineCats
Knowing someone likes you is a massive compliment (go u!!!!) but it can also make you panicky and loads of pressures on you, so knowing he just wanted you to know but doesn't actually want anything is a major 10/10 thing u da bomb pal
Not sure if serious
Original post by Anonymous
X
Don't bring it up abruptly.
Don't do it over social media.
Don't imply being clingy.
Don't pressure her.
Original post by Anonymous
True, but I have to admit I'm very inexperienced with these things so I don't really know what I'm looking for
"There have been some signs I guess but I'm probably overthinking them..."
What are the signs you've noticed?
If she had a boyfriend already, then I'd tell you to leave it alone and get over her. I've had guy friends tell me they have feelings for me, despite the fact that they knew I was in a serious relationship and that just made things awkward - I felt it was rather unnecessary.
Since she's single, however, I don't see what you have to lose by letting her know how you feel. If she doesn't reciprocate, then at least you got it off your chest and you won't have to see her around so much (since your timetable is changing soon) ...... and if she does reciprocate then it's a win all round, isn't it?
As an alternative to declaring your undying love, you could also just ask her out on a date (e.g. "Do you fancy going for drinks, just the two of us?) in a way which makes it clear that you're interested, but isn't quite as awkward and in-your-face as an outright declaration.
Let us know how it goes
Since she's single, however, I don't see what you have to lose by letting her know how you feel. If she doesn't reciprocate, then at least you got it off your chest and you won't have to see her around so much (since your timetable is changing soon) ...... and if she does reciprocate then it's a win all round, isn't it?
As an alternative to declaring your undying love, you could also just ask her out on a date (e.g. "Do you fancy going for drinks, just the two of us?) in a way which makes it clear that you're interested, but isn't quite as awkward and in-your-face as an outright declaration.
Let us know how it goes
Original post by sd_92
Thanks for the advice! I wasn't going to declare undying love haha. I would have said it in an indirect but pretty obvious way, and as a statement rather than a question. Honestly I'm not confident of my chances at all but you're right about getting it off my chest
There's been some good advice in the thread so far but not decisively in favour of yes or no so I still have no clue whether to just leave it or do something
There's been some good advice in the thread so far but not decisively in favour of yes or no
so I still have no clue whether to just leave it or do somethingUltimately you're the only one who can know what you want to do, but I think it would be a shame for you to let the opportunity slip past when the repercussions would be so minimal (changing timetable).
I get the impression that people generally regret not doing things more than they regret doing them.
I think letting her know it won't be weird if she doesn't like you back is really important? Definitely agree with the others though, do NOT do it over social media. And if it becomes apparent she likes you back, tell her all the reasons you like her you don't think she'd expect you to notice. Like yeah, girls like being told their beautiful but if you say something really personal that'll get her attention. It'd get mine, at any rate.
Original post by sd_92
Mainly just body language stuff really, but again I don't really know what I'm looking for and I'm probably overthinking them. But yeah like I said, I haven't done a very good job of hiding my own body language so I think it's pretty obvious. Maybe she knows but doesn't want to be told?
As for dropping it abruptly I was never going to suddenly drop a bomb like that lol. It would be after initiating conversation over social media first, talking about stuff then saying it. A lot of people have warned against doing it over social media but after friday that will be the only way
As for dropping it abruptly I was never going to suddenly drop a bomb like that lol. It would be after initiating conversation over social media first, talking about stuff then saying it. A lot of people have warned against doing it over social media but after friday that will be the only way
Don't do it over social media, just don't.
Also, you're going to have to be more specific than just body language.
(edited 8 years ago)
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