Discuss: The benefits and risks of a girl asking a guy out?

Is that you in your profile photo?

As a girl don't you think that a guy may agree just because it's better than being single? Do you worry about not being his number 1 choice if you approach rather than him? This has always been my concern but I don't want to keep believing it anymore.

You have as much right to do it as any guy. This is the 21st century - we're all so over gender roles and stigma! You like him, ask him out. He says yes - great. He says no - strut the **** out of his life with a quick hair flick

Pros
You avoid crappy mind games waiting for him to ask you
You don't need to worry anymore about whether or not he'll say yes or no
Might actually boost your confidence
At least he'll see you as someone who can take charge of a situation
He might actually like you and is unaware you like him

Cons
You don't conform to some stupid, pointless social expectation. Oh how terrible /s

One of my favourite quotes from Vine is 'bruh just go for it right now here we go'.

With that in mind, it can get things moving forward if the guy is shy or doesn't know how you feel.

OP, let's just make everything easy and sign a contract for how we should date. I propose the following:

1. Dates
(a) Dates will be a weekly affair to be held on Thursdays to Sundays, unless a satisfactory excuse is provided.
(b) Dates occurring on weekdays shall be exclusively conducted at night.
(c) After the 4th date both parties shall have the option to invite the other out on one more occasion in the week, but such an option can only be exercised once every fortnight.
(d) After the 10th date the above restrictions in (a)-(c) shall be lifted, but there must be at least one date a week, unless a satisfactory excuse is provided.
(e) The guideline budget for dates shall be £30 per pax (excluding transportation costs). Notice shall be given to the other party if one party suggests a date which would require a higher budget.

2. Gifts
(a) Each party shall gift the other a surprise gift in the 1st, 3rd, and 5th months of the relationship.
(b) The value of each aforementioned gift in (a) shall be within £30-100.
(c) Gifts as mentioned in (a) shall include (but not necessarily be restricted to): jewellery, clothing, cosmetics, perfumes, and admission tickets to events.

3. Communication
(a) Parties shall be limited to 20 instant messages (via for e.g. Facebook, Whatsapp, Imessenger, email) in communication per day in the first 2 months of the relationship.
(b) Parties shall be limited to phone calls of 100 minutes per week in the first 2 months of the relationship.
(c) No phone calls shall be made after 12.30 am, unless it is for an emergency.
(d) After the 10th date the above restrictions in (a)-(b) shall be lifted.

4. Sex
(a) It is understood that one of the parties is uncomfortable with sex, and thus no sexual contact shall take place in the first 4 months of the relationship.
(b) (a) however does not preclude any form of affectionate contact, e.g. cuddling.
(c) Discussion of cohabitation shall only occur after the first 6 months of the relationship.
(d) Consent to sexual activity must be made in written consent and signed by a notary.

5. Socialisation
(a) Parties can only invite the other party to social events after the 8th date.
(b) Social events as mentioned in (a) shall include (but not necessarily be restricted to): company social events, family events, charity events, dinners with friends, and barbeques with neighbours.
(c) It is understood that one of the parties has problems with making friends, and thus the other party shall try his best to introduce the said party to his friends.

These terms are provisional and subject to change after negotiations.

I agree. It's better to probably just ask. I do want a change and to experience new things, maybe even experiencing rejection once will teach me something..but my only concern is actually not being rejected but rather led on until he finds someone better. I'd rather be rejected

(Assuming there already is a specific guy)

You'll either get to go out with him or you'll finally get the answer to the question whether he wants to go out with you.

Not much use waiting around for him to ask you; it's passive and even if he likes you, there's a chance he won't ask you out so less chance of you getting what you want (him).

If he likes you, asking him out (as a girl) will unlikely affect your chances of getting him, and if it does, was pining after this guy really worth it?

The risks are rejection (which isn't nice at all) and potential embarrassment, although you have more control over the latter (you don't have to feel embarrassed) but maybe you will feel that way.

When it comes down to it, do you like him? If yes, and you think he may like you (which I think is quite important), ask him out.

LOL this was amusing

True, what do you think is the best way to ask/ approach that would cause the least amount of embarrassment if one was rejected?

Lol

yes

No wonder you rejected me before. You are really hot.

The thirst is strong with you.

I am not thirsty. I actually like the OP.

Well, then I permit you to use my dating contract template on her.

True, what do you think is the best way to ask/ approach that would cause the least amount of embarrassment if one was rejected?

Positive: you could end up having a boyfriend, because he says yes.
Negative: you could end up not having a boyfriend, because he says no. And if he says no, no harm is done. Move on and find someone else. So you might as well just do it.

Pros
You avoid crappy mind games waiting for him to ask you
You don't need to worry anymore about whether or not he'll say yes or no
Might actually boost your confidence
At least he'll see you as someone who can take charge of a situation
He might actually like you and is unaware you like him

Cons
You don't conform to some stupid, pointless social expectation. Oh how terrible /s