I'm Finished. The Uni is finished too. Social crisis.

You keep saying 'it's a shame' as if its inevitable and out of your control. You can't control the behaviour of others, but you are in control of your own behaviour. If your flat mates don't contact you a lot, I guess they don't feel that close to you. So what? Why does your friendship circle have to end with them? Go and make more friends and build relationships outside of your home.

I understand the difficulty of dealing with depression and how hard it can be to socialise with new people, I've been there myself. I buried myself in work and studying, which, if you are university can be a good thing.

If you're really struggling, talk to the student counsellor. Life's not going to get any easier if you have no motivation to make a change yourself. Don't doom yourself to 'four more years of pain', do something to change it!

Why are so many freshers struggling this year? I see so many threads like this.. Has there been some kind of structural societal change that I am not aware about?

I thought friendships start with flatmates. I thought flatmates were meant to be your best friend in first year. I've even realised there seem to be divide or something and i haven't even met the new flatmate, my flatmates FAILED to mention to me (i'm suspecting its an international student).

I'm not going to seek counsellors or some bull****. I'm just going to have to fight the battle.

Are you in uni btw? how do you cope since you have experienced depression

You keep saying 'it's a shame' as if its inevitable and out of your control. You can't control the behaviour of others, but you are in control of your own behaviour. If your flat mates don't contact you a lot, I guess they don't feel that close to you. So what? Why does your friendship circle have to end with them? Go and make more friends and build relationships outside of your home.

I understand the difficulty of dealing with depression and how hard it can be to socialise with new people, I've been there myself. I buried myself in work and studying, which, if you are university can be a good thing.

If you're really struggling, talk to the student counsellor. Life's not going to get any easier if you have no motivation to make a change yourself. Don't doom yourself to 'four more years of pain', do something to change it!

i feel sort of the same but more like i wanted to party hard and make friends and it doesnt seem to be happening as i imagined, maybe partly because i chose private halls. are you in nottingham?

Everybody thank you for your comments

Today has been a very sad day. I've realised my flaws.

1. People will only hang out with me if i'm drunk but this doesn't happen anymore.
2. My personality is boring, socially awkward
3. I have realised i have become clingy to a girl who has friendzoned me and someone said 'you should talk the guys' simulating that i'm gay or something.
4. I'm still upset of my flatmates snubbing me . I thought we was a family but now it seems clear during the week that i'm invinsible. I haven't cooked in 2 weeks

It's a shame. My dream has been ruined and now i'm a statstic to people who don't enjoy uni.

Anonymous - I feel your pain. I was in a different place within myself when I went to my (second attempt) uni and felt so underconfident socially I withdrew entirely and locked myself in my room (I did hang around a group for a few weeks and make a friend on he course towards the end but socially my 1st year was horrific and I ended up commuting!) Only now, being 35, am I looking back regretting I was not more sociable!

It sounds like you may be getting a little paranoid about your flatmates - its a horrible Catch 22, the more paranoid you get, the more withdrawn you get, the more you think you 'deserve' your flatmates to be against you! Hard situation, Again, been there, done that, could write the book abot it!

PS - Midlands uni - University of Birmingham, by any chance? (I went there!)

I am 35 now (lol!) but if you are in Birmingham I work in the city and would happily met you for a drink to discuss your situation - I regret how it was for me and I feel somewhat evangelical about stopping others having the experience I did! (Message me if this interests you!)

I would look at a transfer( dropouts occur by now. The uni might have a room elsewhere with no extra cost.) It won't necessarily solve things but if you are lucky you might find flatmates who like you! And don't get fixated on one girl - that way lies the road to heartbreak!

PPS fair play in saying you don't intend to drop out! Fight the god fight and lets get you some friends!

Clearly you have no intention of resolving these problems and have given up bothering. People aren't going to say 'poor you' or tell you it's not your fault. If you know what your flaws are and aren't willing to better yourself or your situation, nobody is going to do it for you. Motivate yourself and change something instead of saying 'it's over'. It's not over, you're just not willing to do anything to change it.

I have tried changing it. I don't have a clue anymore. I know you said how you dealt with it is by starting a new life in china but i have started a new life away from London and its still the same thing.

Only option is leaving halls this month and trying to find a one bedroom flat or a studio flat.

You keep saying 'it's a shame' as if its inevitable and out of your control. You can't control the behaviour of others, but you are in control of your own behaviour. If your flat mates don't contact you a lot, I guess they don't feel that close to you. So what? Why does your friendship circle have to end with them? Go and make more friends and build relationships outside of your home.

I understand the difficulty of dealing with depression and how hard it can be to socialise with new people, I've been there myself. I buried myself in work and studying, which, if you are university can be a good thing.

If you're really struggling, talk to the student counsellor. Life's not going to get any easier if you have no motivation to make a change yourself. Don't doom yourself to 'four more years of pain', do something to change it!

PS by transfer I mean within your uni to different flat/halls!

PPS I got 'resigned' to what was going on when I got significantly depressed at my first uni. I think fundamentally you are depressed and need help. There is no shame at all in taking antidepressants and they DO help.

Change comes from within. You may feel you are 'boring' and 'lack personality' but if and when your mood improves your personality will improve with it!

The problem with moving to different halls is that it may be the same thing with the flatmates. I mean take for example, we have a new flatmate, and i have never seen her before (assuming she is an international student and spoke in a female chinese language when i walked passed her door), non of us doesn't bother to knock on her door and i'm 100% certain she came to live in our halls because she had her own problems.

I wish I could bury myself in work and studying. However I can't focus, I can't even focus while Im watching a movie because all that goes on in my head are the horrible things that I've been through for the past 1.5 years, which is why I've suffered through severe depression and has severely affected my studies. So my question is how were you able to focus? Because I'd really like to stop thinking about everything and bury myself in my studies too.

Btw I just clicked on your profile and it says you're a English teacher - I too want to eventually become a teacher! I currently tutor IGCSE economics and accounting but would really like to become a qualified teacher one day!