Vatican: Sainthoods at £350k

Agree, as a raised Catholic

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If im ever going to do something really terrible like murder a bunch of kids or commit a genocide or something ill need to be sure to buy a sainthood first just so I can REALLY **** with the catholic church xD.

When a neighboring tribe assassinated her husband, Olga (c.879-969), princess of Kiev, went to war. She massacred virtually the entire tribe; the few who did survive she sold into slavery. Years later, while in Constantinople to make an alliance with the emperor, Olga visited a church and was in awe of the magnificence of the liturgy. She took instruction, was baptized and returned to Kiev, zealous to convert her people. Hardly anyone would listen to her. Even her family rejected Christianity. Olga died believing that as a missionary, she was a failure. Feast day: July 11.

St Veronica Guilani was caught raiding the larder too though she claimed to be fasting by virtue of a miracle.
But this did not stop the Church making a saint of her.
The excuse given was that it was a demon in her form that was seen gorging down food in the kitchen (ibid page 37). What point would there be in God doing a miracle when he is going to let a demon do that for then you end up guessing that the miracle was true which spoils the whole point of doing the miracle.
She was a stigmatist too which indicates how miraculous her wounds were.
Bizarrely, she prayed that the wounds would become invisible to prevent the bishop and other examining them for it was so painful (page 139, The Bleeding Mind).
What use would an invisible miracle be to other people and God isn’t going to do a miracle just for her.
When she wanted to keep the wounds why should she have minded the bishop hurting her for they couldn’t have been any sorer anyway.
She hinted that she was faking her wounds.

Just in case it wasn't clear, I'm not a catholic

EDIT: nice to see even a raised catholic can agree with me.

If I were to buy a sainthood, it would be an investment - would I be able to make a comfortable return on my investment? Would that status enable me to run further business ventures that would be closely assured by the status of "saint", and able to profit from it?

Northern Irish don't count mate.

When even was the last time His Holiness, the Pope of the Catholic Church, Vicar of Christ, King of Vatican, Bishop of Rome visited you? Obviously not god's favourite. Saying this as apparently an almost-Northern Irish catholic.

Who do you think you are? You're not that influential.

St Olga


St Veronica Guilani


And other ones: http://www.romancatholicism.co.uk/hellsaints.html

Nor should the Germans either I guess.

Never actually, but at least this Argentinian has a bit of compassion in him.

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No compassion for NI. Maybe he doesn't even know it exists.

Also I wouldn't necessarily call someone who pretends to be more OK with gays but in action wants gays to be unemployed to be compassionate.

He'd probably be attacked by loyalists tbh.

Well, compassion towards the poor.

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It means you can sell your organs as relics

That's not much use to me.

I suppose I would write a book called "Living Saintly - Your Everyday Average Saint's Guide to Eternal Life", then just copy and paste most of it from the bible and write a disclaimer at the back saying *Eternal Life Not Guaranteed For All Readers.

Sell it at £49.99 a piece.

Which parts are you going to copy from The Bible to encourage a saintly life? The rapes? The incests? The pedophilia? The marrying your dead brother's wife? The keeping of slaves? The murders? To leaving your family? The asking women to remain silence? The stoning of the gays? The racism? The stoning rebellious children to death? The not eating shrimps? The not eating pork? The not playing football?

Well aren't you in a charming mood today.

The not playing football.

Don't you think your book would be a bit thin?

So I see that the Vatican still hasn't changed since the past 700 years. Always the same plots, schemes and backstabbing.