Why people care if family members are gay?
I can maybe understand parents being upset about the not having grandchildren part, but I'm heterosexual and don't want to have kids, as I'm sure a lot of straight people don't. Also with science these days same-sex couples can reproduce using things like the swirl or surrogates or can/should be able to be adopt.
Another argument, probably the weirdest one I find, is when people say it disgusts them to think about their family member with someone of the same sex. For example I had a friend at Uni who said him and his dad had disowned and not spoken to his cousin after she came out as a lesbian. His reason was that it disgusted him and his dad to think about her having sex with another women. My question to them is why the **** are you thinking about a relative having sex at all? My brothers are both straight, one married, one about to be, to women. However I don't sit there of an evening going 'ooo I wonder whether they'll do missionary tonight or doggy, or maybe try anal'. I can honestly say the thought of my brothers having sex has never really crossed my mind, and if it did creep in it's not a thought I entertain. Thinking about people your related to having sex is weird full stop.
Another argument, probably the weirdest one I find, is when people say it disgusts them to think about their family member with someone of the same sex. For example I had a friend at Uni who said him and his dad had disowned and not spoken to his cousin after she came out as a lesbian. His reason was that it disgusted him and his dad to think about her having sex with another women. My question to them is why the **** are you thinking about a relative having sex at all? My brothers are both straight, one married, one about to be, to women. However I don't sit there of an evening going 'ooo I wonder whether they'll do missionary tonight or doggy, or maybe try anal'. I can honestly say the thought of my brothers having sex has never really crossed my mind, and if it did creep in it's not a thought I entertain. Thinking about people your related to having sex is weird full stop.
Because they are homophobic, simple as that. You cannot expect a rational explanation for your question because there isn't one. Prejudice is not rational.
Original post by NathanDYE
Puts shame on the rest of the family.
Sorry but how exactly? That doesn't make any sense
Original post by georgiaswift
Sorry but how exactly? That doesn't make any sense
Even if the family aren't homophobic the people around them will think less and will think of them as outcasts..... Of course, this is only true in certain communities.
No need to be sorry
x
Original post by NathanDYE
Even if the family aren't homophobic the people around them will think less and will think of them as outcasts...
I know this is going to be quite hard for you to comprehend, but unbelievably not every person looks down on gay people. Just those who are closed-minded.
Original post by NathanDYE
Even if the family aren't homophobic the people around them will think less and will think of them as outcasts..... Of course, this is only true in certain communities.
Then that's the problem of those 'certain communities'. Many communities across the world would consider a family outcasts if they raised a disabled child; that doesn't make such a view right.
In fact, there are many places in Britain now where you would be considered an outcast for treating the family of a gay person as outcasts!
Original post by Inexorably
I know this is going to be quite hard for you to comprehend, but unbelievably not every person looks down on gay people. Just those who are closed-minded.
Please see reply to other user.....
Original post by NathanDYE
Even if the family aren't homophobic the people around them will think less and will think of them as outcasts..... Of course, this is only true in certain communities.
No need to be sorry x
No need to be sorry
xTrue, things can be that way in certain communities. Didn't really think about it. Thanks
I have a cousin who is a lesbian. She came out like 15 years ago and no one in our family has made a big deal about it. She seems happy and we just let her get on with it, it's her life. She brings her girlfriend with her to family events and she gets on well with the family.
I'd rather not think about their sex life though lol I can't believe people would actually think about their family members having sex. As my mum used to say '' from time I don't share a pillow with the person, what they do behind closed doors is none of my business''.
I'd rather not think about their sex life though lol I can't believe people would actually think about their family members having sex. As my mum used to say '' from time I don't share a pillow with the person, what they do behind closed doors is none of my business''.
I'm the second youngest member in my family by about 20 years (a very unplanned accident). I was also brought up in England while my family members grew up in Catholic countries. I'm not sure how homophobic members of my family are but I think that for the most part, they are very backwards thinking due to religion and the generational difference. Most of them grew up in a different time.
In other words, I'm not coming out to anyone any time soon
In other words, I'm not coming out to anyone any time soon
In the past there was enormously ingrained homophobia. Society actually thought it was ok to be like this. Now I guess it is less tolerated and less prevalent to be homophobic but of course it still exists. Others may have been thinking about the prejudice their relative might suffer. I am glad the tide has turned and people, at least where I live, can by and large be themselves without prejudice and victimisation.
Original post by driftawaay
Because they are homophobic, simple as that. You cannot expect a rational explanation for your question because there isn't one. Prejudice is not rational.
Indeed.
Or it could be just that we don't agree with it for moral reasons. As I count everybody in my family who has had intercourse outside of marriage as a shame upon the family.Original post by william walker
Indeed. Or it could be just that we don't agree with it for moral reasons. As I count everybody in my family who has had intercourse outside of marriage as a shame upon the family.
Or it could be just that we don't agree with it for moral reasons. As I count everybody in my family who has had intercourse outside of marriage as a shame upon the family.The question is about being gay, not about having sex outside of marriage.
Original post by Siman89
I can maybe understand parents being upset about the not having grandchildren part, but I'm heterosexual and don't want to have kids, as I'm sure a lot of straight people don't. Also with science these days same-sex couples can reproduce using things like the swirl or surrogates or can/should be able to be adopt.
Another argument, probably the weirdest one I find, is when people say it disgusts them to think about their family member with someone of the same sex. For example I had a friend at Uni who said him and his dad had disowned and not spoken to his cousin after she came out as a lesbian. His reason was that it disgusted him and his dad to think about her having sex with another women. My question to them is why the **** are you thinking about a relative having sex at all? My brothers are both straight, one married, one about to be, to women. However I don't sit there of an evening going 'ooo I wonder whether they'll do missionary tonight or doggy, or maybe try anal'. I can honestly say the thought of my brothers having sex has never really crossed my mind, and if it did creep in it's not a thought I entertain. Thinking about people your related to having sex is weird full stop.
Another argument, probably the weirdest one I find, is when people say it disgusts them to think about their family member with someone of the same sex. For example I had a friend at Uni who said him and his dad had disowned and not spoken to his cousin after she came out as a lesbian. His reason was that it disgusted him and his dad to think about her having sex with another women. My question to them is why the **** are you thinking about a relative having sex at all? My brothers are both straight, one married, one about to be, to women. However I don't sit there of an evening going 'ooo I wonder whether they'll do missionary tonight or doggy, or maybe try anal'. I can honestly say the thought of my brothers having sex has never really crossed my mind, and if it did creep in it's not a thought I entertain. Thinking about people your related to having sex is weird full stop.
I can't. It is not my responsibility to provide my parents with grandchildren. We get to make our own choices and our parents should want us to do what makes us happy. Parents shouldn't have dreams for their children beyond that their child has the opportunity to do what they want and be who they want. Children are not mini-mes of their parents. From being a toddler to adulthood we aren't necessarily going to want the same things our parents want. We get to be our own people. Don't expect an adult child to have children because you want them. Don't expect them to go to uni because you think it's important. Don't expect them to have the career you want them to have. Don't complain if your child hates your favourite sport (or all sports). Don't complain if your child won't wear the style of clothes you think they should. Don't complain if they don't agree with your religion.
The sign of a good parent is that you let your child(ren) make their own decisions (obviously more as they grow older). You let them make their own mistakes. You support them whether you agree with their choices (excluding the obvious ones, like murder) or not.
It wouldn't bother me if any of my siblings turned out to be gay or if my kids were gay or whatever.
But I can't hide the fact that I'd prefer they turn out to be straight.
But I can't hide the fact that I'd prefer they turn out to be straight.
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