The Student Room Group

What's wrong with calling people "sluts" or "whores"?

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Original post by nverjvlev
Most of the time it's not being used accurately, simply as an insult - the idea of shaming people for being promiscuous is pretty unhealthy and closes up healthy discussions about sexuality. Also, people tend to start thinking that being a cheater, a slut and a prostitute are the same which is definitely not true and again, is a pretty unhealthy mindset for society to have. People should not be shamed for what they choose to do with their body.

I do think it's an issue that women are shamed for this but men tend to be praised for it but I don't think the answer is to shame men as well, but to stop judging people on their sexual habits completely. People should just stop using the term 'slut'.


It's not always healthy to sleep around tho, for example some girls especially do it because their fathers were never around. Or boys are peer pressured into it by laddish friends

I agree people shouldn't be mean but then better to shame people out of unhealthy behaviour
Things the word slut allows:

- women to be shamed in the street for how they dress
- women to be shamed for how they act
- women to be blamed for someone cheating on them
- women to be shamed for who they choose to sleep with

this is not okay, we seriously need to stop shaming women for having free will
Original post by Anonymous
It's not always healthy to sleep around tho, for example some girls especially do it because their fathers were never around. Or boys are peer pressured into it by laddish friends

I agree people shouldn't be mean but then better to shame people out of unhealthy behaviour


this is exactly why we need to be open as a society about our sexual behaviour - slut shaming prevents people from talking about these things. I'm not endorsing promiscuity or even abstinence, just saying that you should never shame someone for their lifestyle choice.

If you're concerned about someone's sexual behaviour you should approach them with love and concern, rather than shaming them.
Original post by The_Mighty_Bush
It's necessary if their behaviour matches the definition and if it is having a corrosive effect on the society or themselves.

I agree.
If someone doesn't want to be called a slut don't be slutty.
If someone doesn't want to be called judgemental then don't be judgemental.

If however you really don't care what people think, be free to judge who you like or be a slut.

This whole it is wrong to call someone a slut is strange. Why can't you? Freedom of speech-you can say or act the way you want to and I can say or act whatever I want to about it. As long as I am not stopping you, who cares?

Liberal views that many hold seem hypocritical here-so people are allowed to say and do whatever they want, but if I say or do whatever I want it is wrong?

This represents the absurdity of the "open-minded" people;
http://www.quickmeme.com/img/37/376510bb6db7d18a4dc2673a83399f02d0f4751f52d45a6d6e8e62162daffae2.jpg

I respect your right to think or do whatever you want, now respect other people can do the same.
Original post by nverjvlev
Most of the time it's not being used accurately, simply as an insult - the idea of shaming people for being promiscuous is pretty unhealthy and closes up healthy discussions about sexuality. Also, people tend to start thinking that being a cheater, a slut and a prostitute are the same which is definitely not true and again, is a pretty unhealthy mindset for society to have. People should not be shamed for what they choose to do with their body.

I do think it's an issue that women are shamed for this but men tend to be praised for it but I don't think the answer is to shame men as well, but to stop judging people on their sexual habits completely. People should just stop using the term 'slut'.


A slut; a woman who sleeps around but doesn't have the business sense to charge like a prostitute.
A prostitute; a woman who sleeps around but doesn't have the self respect to be selective and not hire her body out.
A cheater; someone who has the charm to get more than one partner but not the decency to satisfy even one.
Reply 24
They are awful terms to call anyone, but women get it worse because women are supposed to be seen as 'pure', and even if they do have 'fun', they are considered as those terms? Wth? + the contortions with those words are actually degrading - those words are degrading too btw - and if people call a girl those words they automatically think oh yeah they must be 'easy' and will happily do all sorts. And if people think it's ok to use them words, how would you feel if someone said that about your mum, sister or wife? They're awful terms. And if you call it to a guy, they get away with it cause it's 'cool' to have fun with countless women.
In short you shouldn't use their words cause it can cause all sorts of pain - mentally and physically
Original post by i<3milkshake
I agree.
If someone doesn't want to be called a slut don't be slutty.
If someone doesn't want to be called judgemental then don't be judgemental.


By your logic:

If someone doesn't want to be called 'faggot' then don't be homosexual?

If someone doesn't want to be called 'n****r' then don't be black?

Gosh, your heart must be full of hate. I truly pity you.
Original post by uberteknik
By your logic:

If someone doesn't want to be called 'faggot' then don't be homosexual?

If someone doesn't want to be called 'n****r' then don't be black?

Gosh, your heart must be full of hate. I truly pity you.


Behaviour is a personal choice. Sexuality and race are not.

Gosh, you head must be full of rocks. I truly pity you.

*Well that personal attack of yours fell down pretty quickly.
Original post by i<3milkshake


This whole it is wrong to call someone a slut is strange. Why can't you? Freedom of speech-you can say or act the way you want to and I can say or act whatever I want to about it. As long as I am not stopping you, who cares?

Liberal views that many hold seem hypocritical here-so people are allowed to say and do whatever they want, but if I say or do whatever I want it is wrong?


And freedom of speech means I can express displeasure at what you say. It works both ways. I care because words have consequences. You calling a girl a slut makes her unhappy. A quick google search shows it's caused quite a few suicides, e.g. http://jezebel.com/5955093/slut-shamed-teen-commits-suicide-taunted-by-classmates-to-the-very-end

Why aren't we allowed our opinions too? You're saying my view is wrong too. You have free speech. No one is censoring you, no one is saying it should be a crime. You don't seem to understand liberalism at all.
Original post by Mankytoes
And freedom of speech means I can express displeasure at what you say. It works both ways. I care because words have consequences. You calling a girl a slut makes her unhappy. A quick google search shows it's caused quite a few suicides, e.g. http://jezebel.com/5955093/slut-shamed-teen-commits-suicide-taunted-by-classmates-to-the-very-end

Why aren't we allowed our opinions too? You're saying my view is wrong too. You have free speech. No one is censoring you, no one is saying it should be a crime. You don't seem to understand liberalism at all.


Question to you and the feminazi on here

If we called men and women "sluts" equally would you still have a problem
Original post by i<3milkshake
Behaviour is a personal choice. Sexuality and race are not.

Judging behaviour is subjective.

Turn your logic in on yourself: If you don't want to be offended by 'sluts' and 'whores' then ignore them. Let them get on with their own lives and you get along with yours. Win-win.
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 30
Nothing wrong with it if it is appropriate.
Original post by Anonymous
Question to you and the feminazi on here

If we called men and women "sluts" equally would you still have a problem


If you're using it to attack people just for having casual sex, then yeah, because I'd say it's bullying. I don't agree with people not having sex until marriage, but I don't pick on them for it, I don't use insulting words. There's loads of behaviours I don't agree with, and think damage society/humanity- following organised religion being a big one- but I don't abuse people for them.

Obviously depends on context and whatever, I'm not really a very PC person, using any words with your friends is fine with me. If it was used equally, I'd say it was fine for people who've done immoral things like cheating or sexually manipulating people.

As someone else said, I think the solution is to treat women better, not men worse.
Reply 32
..it's rude and says more about you.
Original post by uberteknik
Judging behaviour is subjective.

Yurn your logic in on yourself: If you don't want to be offended by 'sluts' and 'whores' then ignore them. Let them get on with their own lives and you get along with yours. Win-win.


Yurn?
Freedom of speech means that I let them get on with their lives already. I don't stop them. I don't do anything to discourage them. I just have the right though to criticise their behaviour. In what way am I stopping them? None.

As for me personally, I really don't care in the slightest. When I say "I" I am just highlighting the hypocrisy that the liberals tend to have.
Original post by i<3milkshake
I agree.
If someone doesn't want to be called a slut don't be slutty.
If someone doesn't want to be called judgemental then don't be judgemental.

If however you really don't care what people think, be free to judge who you like or be a slut.

This whole it is wrong to call someone a slut is strange. Why can't you? Freedom of speech-you can say or act the way you want to and I can say or act whatever I want to about it. As long as I am not stopping you, who cares?

Liberal views that many hold seem hypocritical here-so people are allowed to say and do whatever they want, but if I say or do whatever I want it is wrong?


Just because you have freedom of speech, it doesn't make it okay to shame people for their behaviour. I understand that you have the ability to make the sound 'slut' with your larynx, tongue and vocal chords but that doesn't make it okay. And the impact of the use of this word is actually pretty huge and it a big part of the oppression of both men and women - it's a huge part of the patriarchy which is damaging society for both men and women.
Original post by nverjvlev
Just because you have freedom of speech, it doesn't make it okay to shame people for their behaviour. I understand that you have the ability to make the sound 'slut' with your larynx, tongue and vocal chords but that doesn't make it okay. And the impact of the use of this word is actually pretty huge and it a big part of the oppression of both men and women - it's a huge part of the patriarchy which is damaging society for both men and women.


Just because you have the freedom to sleep with whoever you want, doesn't mean that it is ok to attack those who disagree and hold conservative values (maybe even self respect).. I understand you have the ability to open your legs and make moaning noises but that doesn't make it ok. And the impact of this behaviour is actually pretty huge and is a big part of why we see chavs and council estates ruining society.
Reply 36
Original post by Candy55
It's not right to call someone that when they're NOT someone who is promiscuous.

And it's not ok to say to their face in a rude way (maybe just me idk)


It's not okay even if the person is promiscuous. That is entirely their business.

All the nonsense about promiscuous people spreading STDs and destroying lives is absolute rubbish. People that do not practice safe sex spread STDs, regardless of how many or few partners they have. A promiscuous person cannot destroy your life - you or your partner, or your friendship group members (an example given on page 1) have to participate in the sexual activity for it to happen. How exactly are you or they coerced? Do promiscuous people have special powers of seduction that cannot be resisted?

Stick to the sexual encounter ideals that you have for yourself and allow others to do whatever they feel, without the derogatory labels.
Original post by CCC75
It's not okay even if the person is promiscuous. That is entirely their business.

All the nonsense about promiscuous people spreading STDs and destroying lives is absolute rubbish. People that do not practice safe sex spread STDs, regardless of how many or few partners they have. A promiscuous person cannot destroy your life - you or your partner, or your friendship group members (an example given on page 1) have to participate in the sexual activity for it to happen. How exactly are you or they coerced? Do promiscuous people have special powers of seduction that cannot be resisted?

Stick to the sexual encounter ideals that you have for yourself and allow others to do whatever they feel, without the derogatory labels.


I agree with safe sex, however if someone has more partners they're more likely to spread STDs, get pregnant or get someone pregnant
Original post by i<3milkshake
Just because you have the freedom to sleep with whoever you want, doesn't mean that it is ok to attack those who disagree and hold conservative values (maybe even self respect).. I understand you have the ability to open your legs and make moaning noises but that doesn't make it ok. And the impact of this behaviour is actually pretty huge and is a big part of why we see chavs and council estates ruining society.


Okay you've just made a huge assumption - I'm actually a Christian and am a huge advocate for people waiting for marriage to sleep with each other. I understand that there are issues with some people's sexual behaviour but that doesn't make it okay to shame them, something which only causes more harm than good? Just because I believe in waiting doesn't mean me hating on people who disagree with me is helpful or morally right, something you are doing right now.

Also, you've just proven how women are shamed so much more than men - it's equally easy to stick your penis in someone how come you immediately focussed on women having sex? Shows the extent of the damage slut shaming has on society.
Original post by Anonymous
Or man sluts or man whores? Provided the term is used equally why is it such a big deal

I have been called similar terms but it doesn't bother me because I am confident in my choices and have only slept with a few people. In the end the meaning behind the word varies so it would only hurt if you actually behaved in that way.

Why is "slut shaming" or shaming men who do this a big deal too? Often sleeping around does have consequences like transmitting STDs and if someone doesn't want to be with someone who's slept around that's their choice. Or it may show a casual attitude to sex and lack of emotional bonding that someone may want in a long term relationship


Your first line pretty much resolves the issue p, if you condem promiscuity across the board then there is nothing wrong with that. But a lot of people condem a girl for enjoying casual sex with a guy (I have a friend, doesn't sleep around but is in a casual sexual relation) and she gets condemned for it,but nobody says anything about the guy in that relationship who is just as much a part of it.

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