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How to prepare for university 2 years before?

Hi!
My mum just basically told me she wants me to defer for a year and go to university a year later than everyone else in my year group, but I really don't want that! I want the excitement of going at the same time as my friends and I want to go right after my A Levels because I love learning and I honestly can't want to get out of this town and this house too!
However the reason she gave was kind of true...
She doesn't think I'm ready and tbh i have to agree. I may be a student who gets fairly high grades and is passionate about education, but in actual fact, I have no idea about the real world and still rely on my parents for everything! I'm 16, in my first year of sixth form and I am literally so useless. I can't really do anything by myself, I'm not independent in the slightest (it doesn't help that I suffer with anxiety)

What can I do to make myself ready to leave home and go to university in the space of 2 years?

Thanks
Useless how?

Maybe try cooking once a week or something. So you're ready for that aspect of university... Or you can opt for catered accommodation.

To be honest, I bet a lot of students feel the same. Living alone for the first time is daunting. But you'll be surrounded by people in the same situation.
2 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????

Are you having a laugh, if you apply yourself you should be able to do basics like cook, use an iron, do your clothes etc in 2 weeks let alone 2 years.

But I guess you can start gradually building up to it?

You may as well go to Uni and learn basic life skills while you are there...is your mum suggesting you learn these skills before you go to Uni?

The amount of people I came across who couldn't even boil a kettle astounded me..you won't be the only one so don't waste a year learning how to do chores!!!
Reply 3
Avatar for Josb
Josb
6
What do you want to study?
Original post by BEARichards
Hi!
My mum just basically told me she wants me to defer for a year and go to university a year later than everyone else in my year group, but I really don't want that! I want the excitement of going at the same time as my friends and I want to go right after my A Levels because I love learning and I honestly can't want to get out of this town and this house too!
However the reason she gave was kind of true...
She doesn't think I'm ready and tbh i have to agree. I may be a student who gets fairly high grades and is passionate about education, but in actual fact, I have no idea about the real world and still rely on my parents for everything! I'm 16, in my first year of sixth form and I am literally so useless. I can't really do anything by myself, I'm not independent in the slightest (it doesn't help that I suffer with anxiety)

What can I do to make myself ready to leave home and go to university in the space of 2 years?

Thanks


2 years is plenty of time to get ready. You don't need to become a gourmet chef, start basic by cooking oven food- most of it has exact instructions on it. Boiling pasta is very straightforward too- you put the pasta in a boiling saucepan of water and leave it for around 12-15 mins ish, Learn how to use the washing machine, maybe offer to help clean the house, go out to town to run errands on your own. I would recommend if you suffer anxiety that you get help now, as it will make university x10 less painful.
Original post by BEARichards
Hi!
My mum just basically told me she wants me to defer for a year and go to university a year later than everyone else in my year group, but I really don't want that! I want the excitement of going at the same time as my friends and I want to go right after my A Levels because I love learning and I honestly can't want to get out of this town and this house too!
However the reason she gave was kind of true...
She doesn't think I'm ready and tbh i have to agree. I may be a student who gets fairly high grades and is passionate about education, but in actual fact, I have no idea about the real world and still rely on my parents for everything! I'm 16, in my first year of sixth form and I am literally so useless. I can't really do anything by myself, I'm not independent in the slightest (it doesn't help that I suffer with anxiety)

What can I do to make myself ready to leave home and go to university in the space of 2 years?

Thanks


I learned how to cook the basics a week before starting uni(I've known how to cook pasta for years but that's it). The washing machines have instructions on them(kind of need them because it's a complicated system). Shopping's not really difficult.

Is there anything in particular you're worried you won't be able to do?
edit: Unlike what the other poster said, you don't need to use an iron.
Original post by BEARichards
Hi!
My mum just basically told me she wants me to defer for a year and go to university a year later than everyone else in my year group, but I really don't want that! I want the excitement of going at the same time as my friends and I want to go right after my A Levels because I love learning and I honestly can't want to get out of this town and this house too!
However the reason she gave was kind of true...
She doesn't think I'm ready and tbh i have to agree. I may be a student who gets fairly high grades and is passionate about education, but in actual fact, I have no idea about the real world and still rely on my parents for everything! I'm 16, in my first year of sixth form and I am literally so useless. I can't really do anything by myself, I'm not independent in the slightest (it doesn't help that I suffer with anxiety)

What can I do to make myself ready to leave home and go to university in the space of 2 years?

Thanks


Hi,
I totally understand how you feel I am sort of the same I am always dependent on my parents to do everything for me and I think that the main reason is because I suffer from anxiety too and thats why I am extremely nervous about uni and having to go for an interview (I am in my second year of A level).
I think that the first think you should do is try to overcome your anxiety which I know is the most difficult thing in the world but you can at least try to reduce the anxiety and thats probably through getting out of your comfort zone and trying new things maybe get a part time job if you know that your grades wont drop due to that or do work experience (I did work experience and found it helpful even though I am still anxious).
Original post by Josb
What do you want to study?


Something along the lines of French/Spanish/Linguistics/Classics
Almost everybody is completely useless when they go to university. There were people in my halls who set the oven on fire repeatedly, didn't know how to work a washing machine and one guy who literally didn't know how to make a pot noodle. I really wouldn't worry about it - you will be in very good company.
Original post by morgan8002
I learned how to cook the basics a week before starting uni(I've known how to cook pasta for years but that's it). The washing machines have instructions on them(kind of need them because it's a complicated system). Shopping's not really difficult.

Is there anything in particular you're worried you won't be able to do?
edit: Unlike what the other poster said, you don't need to use an iron.


It's just kind of general surviving I'm worried about! I'm worried I'll run out of money or forget to do things that I need to do or I won't know how to clean things or I'll just be a terrible human basically! I'm literally like a 12 year old, my parents have been extremely overprotective of me as a child and teenager, I've never even stayed alone for a night, I've always been surrounded by my parents or other adults and it just makes me really concerned that living alone will be something I won't be able to do! What makes it worse is that the third year of my degree involves living alone in a foreign country D:
Reply 10
Avatar for Josb
Josb
6
Original post by BEARichards
Something along the lines of French/Spanish/Linguistics/Classics


I wouldn't advise to study only one language, you should combine it with another subject. It will make you more employable at the end.
You should also look for volunteering. If you're looking at classics, perhaps you can find an archaeology club and work with them, or working au pair in France/Spain, or finding pen pals, for languages.
Original post by Josb
I wouldn't advise to study only one language, you should combine it with another subject. It will make you more employable at the end.
You should also look for volunteering. If you're looking at classics, perhaps you can find an archaeology club and work with them, or working au pair in France/Spain, or finding pen pals, for languages.


Ooh that's helpful, thank you! I think I want to go for a career in teaching so I had been considering studying a single language, but after what you've said it might be better if I do French and Spanish/French and Linguistics/Spanish and Linguistics/French and Classics, something along those lines? I have a French pen pal but the other things you've suggested I had barely even considered, thank you! :smile:
Thanks everyone for all your advice! It's super helpful to think that maybe I'm not as useless as I think I am, haha! I guess that when it comes to uni, I just have to make sure I can do basic things like cook simple food, and the rest will come with simply being exposed to adult life!
Reply 13
Avatar for Josb
Josb
6
Original post by BEARichards
Ooh that's helpful, thank you! I think I want to go for a career in teaching so I had been considering studying a single language, but after what you've said it might be better if I do French and Spanish/French and Linguistics/Spanish and Linguistics/French and Classics, something along those lines? I have a French pen pal but the other things you've suggested I had barely even considered, thank you! :smile:


Yes you should combine two subjects as you said.
Original post by BEARichards
It's just kind of general surviving I'm worried about! I'm worried I'll run out of money or forget to do things that I need to do or I won't know how to clean things or I'll just be a terrible human basically! I'm literally like a 12 year old, my parents have been extremely overprotective of me as a child and teenager, I've never even stayed alone for a night, I've always been surrounded by my parents or other adults and it just makes me really concerned that living alone will be something I won't be able to do! What makes it worse is that the third year of my degree involves living alone in a foreign country D:


You will be fine! I lived with a guy who couldn't make pasta... you can learn basic meals in a week. There is a tonne of recipes online and other people will help you out usually. We all showed this guy how to cook a few bits and bobs. I have run out of money about 5 times, it happens, I got given an award from the hardship fund or borrowed some money. Nobody is gonna leave you to starve to death. I didn't know how to clean anything when I went to uni, I went in the laundry room and asked some girl "how the hell do you use these things" and she showed me which buttons to press. Simples. You just pick it all up as you go along, and by third year you will know how to do it all and will be ok in another country. You will be alright don't worry :smile:
Original post by BEARichards
Hi!
My mum just basically told me she wants me to defer for a year and go to university a year later than everyone else in my year group, but I really don't want that! I want the excitement of going at the same time as my friends and I want to go right after my A Levels because I love learning and I honestly can't want to get out of this town and this house too!
However the reason she gave was kind of true...
She doesn't think I'm ready and tbh i have to agree. I may be a student who gets fairly high grades and is passionate about education, but in actual fact, I have no idea about the real world and still rely on my parents for everything! I'm 16, in my first year of sixth form and I am literally so useless. I can't really do anything by myself, I'm not independent in the slightest (it doesn't help that I suffer with anxiety)

What can I do to make myself ready to leave home and go to university in the space of 2 years?

Thanks


First of all if you want to start uni straight after A levels then do it, it;s your decision and not your mum's. Your life, not her's and she shouldn't be holding you back.

However I do agree you should prepare yourself for the real world, but that doesn't mean you have to defer a year. It just means you have to learn to be a responsible adult, and that shouldn't take very long.

First of all, don't make any excuses for yourself. Non of the "I can't cook" or I "I don't know how to do this or that or the other". If you don't know then learn, and non of the things you need to learn are even remotely difficult I promise.

First thing you need to do is stop relying on your parents for anything other than a roof over your head and supply of food in the fridge if you don't have a job to buy your own.

Start cooking now, it's not at all hard to learn how to cook. At the easiest it can just be following a recipe, but it's best if you can look into a fridge of food and determine what you can make into a meal. Once you can do that you are sorted.

Start doing your own washing and drying now, I cannot tell you how many students come to uni and stand in the laundry room not having a clue what to do. It's actually pretty pathetic, 18 years of age and having never used a washing machine. It's literally just clicking buttons.

Learn how to budget! Now this is the biggest, most important and for some people most difficult. You may not have any income to budget with now, but that doesn't mean you can't learn. Learn about your household finance and how your parents do the food shopping, plan meals etc. Learn what the bare minimum is you'll need for: rent, food, bills (if not included with accommodation) and other general amenities such as transport and some luxuries here and there. If you don't have a bank account yet then set one up and get online banking, with this learn how to: write a cheque, set up standing orders and how to pay money into your account. You don't necessarily have to do each now, just ask your mum or dad to explain.

I get it can be a bit overwhelming but honestly it's not difficult. People's parents have just molly coddled them for too long and most parents don't seem to be teaching their kids this stuff anymore.

Edit: Oh and as others have said seek help to cope with your anxiety sooner rather than later, though I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear the vast majority of universities have excellent metal health help and support.
(edited 8 years ago)

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