Breakups: lie or tell the truth

I think dating someone isn't really easy. I was recently in a situation where the person I was breaking up with ask why? I didn't want to tell the person the actual reason why but I'm now wondering I should have been honest about the real reason even if it's hurts the person being dump more. What do you guys do?

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Reply 1

username47781

Original post by Tamara165

Don't see the point in lying, whatever you do it, it will hurt. But still it's better to be honest I think.

Reply 2

ByronicHero

I'm honest about why because I would want other people to be honest with me in the same situation.

Reply 3

Zarek

What was the real reason?

Reply 4

username677182

People will always tell you that honesty is the best policy, which is usually true, but sometimes there are ways of telling the truth that can hurt a person less than needs be.

For example if you've started to find them boring, you could tell them you think you both have very different interests or clashing personalities.

Honesty is best, but there's also no need to intentionally hurt someone or knock their confidence.

Reply 5

Tamara165

Original post by Rock Fan

Don't see the point in lying, whatever you do it, it will hurt. But still it's better to be honest I think.

Even if the response would be I didn't really like you, you were a bit interesting but only a distraction so my friend could actually date your friend.

Reply 6

username47781

Original post by Tamara165

Even if the response would be I didn't really like you, you were a bit interesting but only a distraction so my friend could actually date your friend.

Just tell him you feel it isn't going anywhere etc or you aren't ready for a relationship, like I said either way he will be hurt whatever you tell him.

Reply 7

ermahgerd11

Original post by Tamara165

Even if the response would be I didn't really like you, you were a bit interesting but only a distraction so my friend could actually date your friend.

You what? So you basically just used him? Ugh. Playing with people like that ffs.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 8

Tamara165

Original post by Rock Fan

Just tell him you feel it isn't going anywhere etc or you aren't ready for a relationship, like I said either way he will be hurt whatever you tell him.

I already did it but obviously I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I said we could be friends. And he's was Iike I don't want to be your bleeping friend, I gave a cliché response basically.

Reply 9

username47781

Original post by Tamara165

I already did it but obviously I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I said we could be friends. And he's was Iike I don't want to be your bleeping friend, I gave a cliché response basically.

Well I already said, you are going to have to expect a response like that unfortunately.

Reply 10

Tamara165

Original post by ermahgerd11

You what? So you basically just used him? Ugh. Playing with people like that ffs.

That wasn't my intention he asked literally a thousand times I had so many excuses, I guess I felt pressure from him and my so call "friend".

Reply 11

Kevin De Bruyne

Original post by Tamara165

I already did it but obviously I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I said we could be friends. And he's was Iike I don't want to be your bleeping friend, I gave a cliché response basically.

With that reason I'm struggling to figure out which would be the better thing to say, because they'll just hurt him in different ways... :s-smilie:

Maybe the second option is better if you word it better. Okay, you shouldn't have agreed to do it but neither should have your friend and the guy should be aware of that if he's 'friends' with your friend.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 12

Tamara165

Original post by SeanFM

With that reason I'm struggling to figure out which would be the better thing to say, because they'll just hurt him in different ways... :s-smilie:

What's ironic is that his friend isn't really into my friend after a couple of drinks he told me and the that I broke it (his friend) that she isn't really his type and etc. And the comments wasn't nice.

Reply 13

Kevin De Bruyne

Original post by Tamara165

Yikes, messy situation then. My sympathy only goes to the guy's friend though.

Reply 14

JackFletch

Always be honest unless if would hurt them very badly. Then lie.

Reply 15

Tamara165

Overall views of what people think is the best way to address situations like this. Having a cliché response, lie about the reason, people who ignore that question and etc. Should people tell the other person exactly how they feel and think ( this the real reason without bending corners).

Reply 16

Tamara165

Original post by SeanFM

Yikes, messy situation then. My sympathy only goes to the guy's friend though.

You mean my former guy yea, I think he's good I saw him with a girl already they were pretty close😏. His friend was nasty just good looking for nothing.

Reply 17

Kevin De Bruyne

Original post by Tamara165

You mean my former guy yea, I think he's good I saw him with a girl already they were pretty close😏. His friend was nasty just good looking for nothing.

then your friend got a lucky escape :smile:

Reply 18

Tamara165

Original post by SeanFM

then your friend got a lucky escape :smile:

Not necessarily base on what I'm seeing and hearing she got used I'm actually embarrassed for her because I believe some of the things the guy told me because she was kinda of obsessed with him. (And still is).