The Student Room Group

Help, i love my teacher.

I am a year 13 student.. 18 in February. It's been about 2 years and I am hopelessly, irretrievably in love with my head of year (who is also my Biology teacher). All of my thoughts and dreams are about him; my life evolves around him. Now, these thoughts of mine are not always PG, I love him!! What should I do?? He is married with two kids (and a dog #serious) but he always gives me signals and flirts like he's my lover. We are soulmates, I am sure of this, and I don't know what to do. Why is life so hard??? Help me please ASAP

Scroll to see replies

Occams Chainsaw?

Before I start I would like to state that he does not have anything to do with this other than being the object of my affection.

I am starting year 13 next year and have begun to realise that I am in love with my teacher. He is a 30 year old engaged maths teacher (this sounds scarily like the story in the news a while ago - but don't worry, he doesn't love me back sadly, and will never know about me feelings for him, (he would probably laugh at me if he found out or not let me do maths) But honestly, I fantasise about him and I getting married, having kids, which is really pathetic I know. I want to stop but I can't.

Firstly, he is really cute and Irish so is a hit with female students, but I'm pretty sure that my affection for him is way beyond the norm.

He has only been teaching me maths for a year, but I have fallen for his passion, kindness and helpfulness (basic teacher characteristics I know), but additionally he is really similar to me. His random tangents in lessons have made me feel like I have gotten to know him, I know we like the same films, have the same taste in music and like the same food etc, which in my naive little head makes me think that we would be perfect together.

I thought he was cute from the start, but as my first year progressed I thought he was really nice and a genuinely lovely guy until I realised he is all I think about and perhaps that I love him, I make myself sick at how pathetic this 'school girl crush' is and how I sound talking about him, but it's the truth.

What makes it worse is that he doesn't really like me in the slightest or interact with me, which makes me crave his attention more. He doesn't like me because I was really rude/horrible to him at the start of the year (I thought he was a bad teacher until I realised it was just that A-levels are hard and also because I was trying to hide my progressing feelings)/ He doesn't interact with me because I was rude to him and because I am really quiet in class and I am not that good at maths so I just fade into the background. I went to after school help because I wanted to do well, but I would blush whenever I spoke to him and so I stopped going and also stopped asking him questions in class (probably why I didn't do too well).

I was slowly getting over him until results day when I got a C in AS maths (not amazing I know but it was way better than the U I expected and means that I can do it in year 13 - which is good as it means I will meet more entry requirements of unis).

So now I know that I will have him again next year, and my feelings will come back - which they have already started to, which will make me quiet again and will be detrimental to my education. I can't change class as he is the only teacher who teaches one of the core modules, and to be honest I kind of want to spend another year with him.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, I have never felt like this before and I obviously can't do much about it as he is a teacher. But it's getting to the point where I can't get to sleep because I am fantasising about him laying next to me and so I post an anonymous question on tsr to see if anyone can help.

Thanks for taking the time to read the babble of a hormonal 17 year old and any advice is appreciated.
(edited 8 years ago)
Is this a joke? If it's not, then you're just going to have to put up with it for a few more months and then you'll have finished year 13 and he'll be out of your life. Then you can move on. He has a spouse and kids. It's not okay to break that up. Plus he's your teacher, so there's a power imbalance. You'll just have to wait it out
Go to the police station and stay in a cell for 2 weeks looking at a picture of ur teacher kissing his wife. That will sort u out
Visit a psychiatrist
Original post by userr_76
I am a year 13 student.. 18 in February. It's been about 2 years and I am hopelessly, irretrievably in love with my head of year (who is also my Biology teacher). All of my thoughts and dreams are about him; my life evolves around him. Now, these thoughts of mine are not always PG, I love him!! What should I do?? He is married with two kids (and a dog #serious) but he always gives me signals and flirts like he's my lover. We are soulmates, I am sure of this, and I don't know what to do. Why is life so hard??? Help me please ASAP


Off limits and married I am afraid, nothing you can do about it.
Reply 6
Original post by georgiaswift
Is this a joke? If it's not, then you're just going to have to put up with it for a few more months and then you'll have finished year 13 and he'll be out of your life. Then you can move on. He has a spouse and kids. It's not okay to break that up. Plus he's your teacher, so there's a power imbalance. You'll just have to wait it out


deadly serious.. I think he loves me back
Reply 7
Original post by MathsAstronomy12
Visit a psychiatrist


been there done that
A not so elaborate troll...
Original post by userr_76
deadly serious.. I think he loves me back


No. I think you are just imagining things now :lolwut: And you are most definitely not in love. It's called an infatuation :rolleyes:
Reply 10
Original post by ermahgerd11
No. I think you are just imagining things now :lolwut: And you are most definitely not in love. It's called an infatuation :rolleyes:


you don't know how i feel, it is definitely love.
Original post by userr_76
been there done that


Just move on
Reply 12
Original post by Kyou
A not so elaborate troll...


excuse me? thats my feelings your talking about
Reply 13
Original post by MathsAstronomy12
Just move on


will you help me do that?
Good heavens Tsr
Original post by userr_76
will you help me do that?


Keep fishing and you'll find your catch :wink:
he is married and have kids and i am pretty much sure he is having a happy life...
n as far as i know teachers dont flirt with students especially when they have kids and living a joyful life
its just u who think that he try to flirt with u
u just cannot ruin their relationship and pull them apart- its selfish
If he gives signals and flirts even though he has a family already, that's creepy and he's a jerk.
You're not soulmates, stop deluding yourself...
If my friends knew I was writing this post they'd probably laugh or roll their eyes - I used to have the BIGGEST crush on my Religious Studies teacher, his name was Martin and I thought the world of him, he was intelligent, handsome, sarcastic and unintentially funny. I couldn't get him out of my head until he left school this past Easter, and I had been crushing on him since he first taught me in year 11/end of year 10. I'm in year 14 now and I still think about him occasionally, but in a way I wonder what my old friends that have moved to uni are up too.

It's human nature to have crushes, especially on teachers as they have a duty of care, you spend almost everyday with them and it's inevitable to build a connection. BUT, there's a fine line between a teacher flirting and a teacher CARING. I knew the whole time when crushing on my teacher that nothing would ever happen, for several reasons.

- you are legally a child, I'm now 18 almost 19 and it's laughable.
- there would be a great age gap
- it's against the law
- they almost always have a family, whether it's a wife or kids
- the pressure would ruin your high school experience

I don't know whether this post was a joke or not, but just think about it. Imagine telling your friends or family, imagine what their reaction would be. It isn't normal, and if it is mutual between yourself and your teacher, he will know to wait 5 years once you've left school to get in contact.
(edited 8 years ago)
I know how you feel.Ive developed feelings for my female chemistry teacher.

Quick Reply

Latest