Have no idea what to do.

I met a guy just over a month ago who is a friend of a friend and we swapped numbers and texted everyday for just over a week. He made it clear from the beginning he was interested and was texting me nice sweet things.

It was clear that something was gonna happen so I told him about being a virgin which he was ok with. We spent the next night together and he was really sweet throughout including the next day when he was texting me that he really likes me and that he wanted to see me again that night. Not for anything to happen, he just wanted to see me before he went away on a "4 day business trip".

This is what the problem is. He's now been gone for almost 3 weeks in total and I've only heard from him once about a week and half after he first went. I know he has a child who lives in London but he did mention that some of he's kids family (don't know who) live not far from where he was going on this trip. I pretty sure it has nothing to do with business as the other 2 guys he went with have come back.

I know we're not properly together but I like him and I'm worried he might not even be interested in me anymore or what to say to him when I see him again.. My friend who has known him a bit longer has just warned me not to get to hooked on him as he has seen him ask for girls numbers before he met me (he made me promise that I wouldn't say he told me)

So the last time I've heard from him was just over a week ago saying he'll be another couple of days and that he'll let me know when he's back.

Do you guys think I have the right to ask him questions about it as it all sounds odd to me? For all I know he could be with a girlfriend laughing at me.

Reply 1

phunky_fresh

Nooo I don't think you should ask. Like you said he isn't your boyfriend, so don't question him. If there are clear signs he has Girlfriend then go for it but for now you've been told he is away. You just have to take his word for it and see if he does get in contact when he gets back. If he doesnt I wouldn't bother checking in with him. If he likes you he won't find any excuses not to see you.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Should I not even just smile and politely ask what he was doing though. I wasn't gonna give him a grilling.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Does anyone else have any advice please? I'm really stuck.

If I say something I don't want to look to weird but I also don't want to look like a mug thinking he can text me everyday, spend the night with me, then text and see me when it suits him.

He never said anything about only wanting something casual, he seemed really interested until he went away (at least I thought he did).

Sorry but I've never been in a relationship before so don't know what to think :frown:

Reply 4

shawn_o1

So much for all his highbrow Marxist ways. He'll use you up and then he'll walk a way.

Reply 5

username1623349

You can't really quiz him about it as you aren't his girlfriend. See how he treats you when he's back - if you ask him about making things official or even seeing each other on a more regular basis and he doesn't want to, chances are he's playing you. Wait and see how he acts when you next talk

Reply 6

Zechs

You said it yourself you aren't really together, so sure you can ask him questions but don't think you have to right to. If he decides to ignore you or react with annoyance it's his right because you are not together.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

I get you all but I'm not saying I wanna grill him, just maybe ask what he was up to.

I can say now we're not properly together because of the way he's been the last few weeks but before he left I thought we were getting into a relationship just from the way he was around me and the type of things he was texting me. I opened up to him about private things as to why I've not been with a guy before and so he knows I wouldn't just invite anyone to stay the night.

Reply 8

ubisoft

He smashed and dashed.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by ubisoft

He smashed and dashed.

Maybe but we have seen each other and messaged since that night and he was his normal self then.

Reply 10

username47781

I sense a red flag right there, tells you he's on a 4 day trip yet he's gone for 3 weeks, I sense he may be already taken or even married.

Reply 11

SmellyProtein

Yeahh he just wanted a shag.

Reply 12

The Rad Prince

She's not his girlfriend or wife, she doesn't deserve anything.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by The Rad Prince

She's not his girlfriend or wife, she doesn't deserve anything.

I don't think it's fair to say I don't deserve anything. If you feel someone is lying to you then you have the right to ask to talk about it I think (I'm talking in any situation) and if they don't then there is probably something wrong. Like I said, he never mentioned anything about not wanting a relationship and knew I wasn't the type to jump into bed with anyone. It was all him messaging me and asking to see me.

The last message he sent me which was after we spent the night together, he was his usual sweet self if not more. If I hadn't heard from him at all then yeah I wouldn't bother to ask for advice as I would know he only wanted one thing.