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Arguments with parents over relationships.

Anonymous #1

I think we've all been there, and i've just had my first.

Been seeing this girl recently and my parents are being stupid protective.. again. At first they were constantly trying to stop me from going to meet her as they didnt want me out and about in our city late at night, but now its about her intentions with me. Sorry but i didnt realise she knew this girls intentions without even seeing her, like wtaf??!? This girl is kind, genuine, fun, smart and gratefull. But my mum in particular seems to think differently.. I might just keep my head down and let it all pass and keep seeing this girl. The only evidence that they have against this girl is that she didnt reply to me this one time, and she is completely disgarding the fact that we've been talking for months. Whats your guys views on this? Any suggestions on what to do?

How old are you?

Original post by LiquidGold

How old are you?

Bump

Your parents want you to breakup with a girl because she didn't text back once? :eek:

Tell them that reason isn't good enough, she doesn't have to worship the very ground you walk on! :yy:

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Reply 5

ocpaul20

take it easy and try to understand that they dont want you to get hurt. Sounds as if they are going through a crisis of you getting your own life.

Maybe get everyone to meet so they can see their fears are unfounded. Some mums do get over protective and if you were a girl, then it would probably be your father who was the same way. It is just a period of adjustment so hang loose and try the meeting her thing. If that does not work, talk to your mum and try to reassure her. She loves you so much that it is difficult for her to let go of her baby... Everyone goes through this separation thing and some handle it well and some it hits them hard, so be kind.

Reply 6

Simes

Original post by Anonymous

…but now it's about her intentions with me.

Are they worried she'll get you pregnant and then leave town?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by Simes

Are they worried she'll get you pregnant and then leave town?

Haha yeah thats it :biggrin:

No its to do with what she wants, my mum seems to think its all about my money and how she's using me for stuff. I dont get it either.

Reply 8

ocpaul20

Are you a rich kid? Are you using her for stuff too?
If you are a rich kid, then there is a valid reason why your mum is concerned. It is why celebs only hook up with other celebs - because then if you both have millions, neither can be a gold digger.

Actually, I dont think money generally comes into the equation since students are generally pretty hard up and if she is sensitive, she probably wont ask you to buy shoes handbags iphones etc. If she does, then you need to seriously consider what your mum is saying! Probably people dont want to invest a lot into their gf unless they are pretty serious about each other. Got a good job? Does it pay well? haha

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by ocpaul20

No where near being rich, i'd consider myself a normal middle class kid, and i've never used her for anything. And yeah she has never asked for me to buy her anything either, i will always offer. I dont have a job at the minute, using what ive got left in the bank but as im still at school i dont really have to pay for anything.

Reply 10

Nerol

Sounds like over-protective parents. Have a conversation with them and tell them you appreciate their concern, but you are an adult and need to make your own decisions. They'll understand, and if you do end up getting hurt, they'll be there for you. If you wanna date this girl, go for it.

Reply 11

ocpaul20

Then a meet up is the best answer I guess. We tend to fear the unknown and as soon as we know what/who we are dealing with it becomes easier to handle. good luck.

Reply 12

Plumstone

I know this may seem like the last thing you want to do, but you could bring her over to meet your parents?

When I first started seeing my boyfriend, his parents were concerned that I was so young (he was 29 and I was 17) and they were worried that I would be an immature little girl and not suitable for him.

As soon as they met me, however, they could tell that I was mature, sensible and was going into the relationship with my eyes wide open. Literally - after the first introductions, his mum showed me upstairs to where I would be sleeping, we had a conversation about all the books in the room and how much I love literature, then I unpacked whilst his mum went downstairs and told my boyfriend how lovely she thought I was and there was no problem at all with the age gap because I was clearly wise beyond my years.

I can't guarantee that it will solve everything if you invite your girlfriend to meet your parents, but they may have this image in their head of her being some awful gold-digging slag and if they see what she's really like, it may win them round??

Reply 13

Emily.97

Although it may seem extreme, it's natural for a parent to be protective of their own.
I've been in this situation before and it was irritating because my mum jumped to conclusions and assumed the worst, but can you blame them?