The Student Room Group

I shouldnt smile at boys?!!!

Ok so me and my friend were at a party yesterday, and there were loads of people I didnt know-loads of guys and girls. Whenever someone went past who I didnt know I smiled at them- and my friend was like "I notice you smile at EVERYONE- thats weird." And then she said well its ok to smile at girls, but the boys would think I like them and their going to think im a sl**

What? Im just trying to be nice, I dont know what to think because I have SEVERE social anxiety as it is and didnt think smiling at people was deemed to be socially unacceptable, and I certainly didnt know boys thought girls who smiled at them fancied them- Im really confused.

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It's not socially unacceptable. Not sure why your friend is saying that they will think you are a slut but if you do smile when you look at someone then they will assume that you like them.
This is not true, smiling is not an indicator of liking someone, guys should know that.

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Reply 3
I think it's perfectly fine. I always smile at them it's just about being friendly and polite nothing to do with fancying them. I also have bad social anxiety don't think there's anything wrong with smiling at guys it's all about your intentions. I only aim to be friendly when I smile at men.
Original post by Vikingninja
It's not socially unacceptable. Not sure why your friend is saying that they will think you are a slut but if you do smile when you look at someone then they will assume that you like them.


You say 'if you do smille when you look at someone then they will assume you like them.' Huh? I have to look at them to smile at them- its not like a big grinny smile its just normal one which is like a 'hello' without words. I dont know what you mean..
Original post by sabana
I think it's perfectly fine. I always smile at them it's just about being friendly and polite nothing to do with fancying them. I also have bad social anxiety don't think there's anything wrong with smiling at guys it's all about your intentions. I only aim to be friendly when I smile at men.


Thank You, I think with my anxiety when someone comments on how I interact with people it worries me more because I'll just start doubting myself more.
Original post by Bubblybabybling
You say 'if you do smille when you look at someone then they will assume you like them.' Huh? I have to look at them to smile at them- its not like a big grinny smile its just normal one which is like a 'hello' without words. I dont know what you mean..


It's sort of like giving attention to them which appears that you like them since you are smiling and since you are looking at them its directed at them.
Reply 7
FFS, guys, quit being so insecure. Just because someone smiles at you, doesn't mean she wants the D. OP, I smile at everyone too! haha
Reply 8
Original post by Bubblybabybling
Thank You, I think with my anxiety when someone comments on how I interact with people it worries me more because I'll just start doubting myself more.


I find if I actually fancy a guy it's more difficult to smile due to feeling a little awkward in his company. Really fancied a guy I was at work with but he's two years younger than me he's one of the loveliest people I've ever met. One time I cried in front of him when it was just me and him in the room and he was soo sweet. :smile:
Original post by Vikingninja
It's sort of like giving attention to them which appears that you like them since you are smiling and since you are looking at them its directed at them.


So just ignore guys altogether and only smile at the one you like? Then why am I allowed to smile at my girl friends without them thinking I want to get into their pants?
Smiling is a big part of flirting, so men may think you are flirting with them.
Original post by sabana
I find if I actually fancy a guy it's more difficult to smile due to feeling a little awkward in his company. Really fancied a guy I was at work with but he's two years younger than me he's one of the loveliest people I've ever met. One time I cried in front of him when it was just me and him in the room and he was soo sweet. :smile:


Oh my gosh I am exactly the same! If I really like someone I will do anything to avoid them, and it would appears that I hate them haha. Awwe thats so sweet, he seems really nice- you smile at him girl! <3x
Original post by Holydude
Smiling is a big part of flirting, so men may think you are flirting with them.


Ok so imagine you started a new job- I dont know if your a guy or a girl but would you smile at your colleagues who are the opposite gender to you? Or would you just completely ignore them because you dont want them to think you're flirting?
Original post by Bubblybabybling
So just ignore guys altogether and only smile at the one you like? Then why am I allowed to smile at my girl friends without them thinking I want to get into their pants?

No. The thing about smiling at someone is that you are giving positive attention to them. If they don't know you then there are going to be few reasons for them to think about why you are smiling at them. Also not even referring to getting into their pants. Well reason why is because boys will jump the gun a lot and think that, also majority of people are not homosexual so aren't going to assume that (yes I know what I am saying sounds stupid, hard to explain).
You can do what you want, there aren't any rules.
You can smile at them, wink at them, flash them and then tell them to **** off.
Reply 16
Original post by Bubblybabybling
Oh my gosh I am exactly the same! If I really like someone I will do anything to avoid them, and it would appears that I hate them haha. Awwe thats so sweet, he seems really nice- you smile at him girl! <3x


He would carry books for me and come up to me at work and ask me if I needed help with anything. He would always ask how I was and how my day went and he said I'm always here for you if you need a chat or anything. I loved how he took interest in me and asked me what my interests were how my weekend was. I loved being in his company and I could talk to him about anything.
Original post by Bubblybabybling
Ok so imagine you started a new job- I dont know if your a guy or a girl but would you smile at your colleagues who are the opposite gender to you? Or would you just completely ignore them because you dont want them to think you're flirting?


No because they know you so if you are colleagues or friends then there is a reason for positive attention. Someone you don't know may assume that you are into them if you are giving them positive attention without knowing you.
Original post by Vikingninja
No. The thing about smiling at someone is that you are giving positive attention to them. If they don't know you then there are going to be few reasons for them to think about why you are smiling at them. Also not even referring to getting into their pants. Well reason why is because boys will jump the gun a lot and think that, also majority of people are not homosexual so aren't going to assume that (yes I know what I am saying sounds stupid, hard to explain).


No I had connections to these people, they go to the same university as me so it wasnt like they were strangers. I dont know Im just trying to be nice.
Original post by Bubblybabybling
No I had connections to these people, they go to the same university as me so it wasnt like they were strangers. I dont know Im just trying to be nice.


Do you actually speak to them and are friends with them?

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