The Student Room Group

Anyone else love being a straight white male?

Every day I wake up and think "Yes! Another day of being privileged". I get dressed, and it takes me a matter of a few minutes: I don't have to cover myself in make up because I already look great, being that I'm a straight white male. I don't have to make my skin look lighter to cater to the demands of the media, because it's already pearly white beautiful.

I leave my door, go to the tube station, don't even have to tap at the gates; my privilege just allows me to glide right through.

I get on the tube, pregnant ladies and PoC move out the way for me to sit down on the priority seats, and I manspread my legs out so far the whole coach can see the bulging privilege in my jeans.

Ticket checkers come over, and they just smile at me, give me a wink and pass on by.

I get to the office: don't have to do diddly squat. I'm a straight white male, so I just get my pretty secretary to bend over and pick up my gold plated fountain pen (which was awarded to me for being a straight white male) all day, as I keep purposely dropping it on my lion skin (his name was Brian) rug.

Then after a day of that, I go home and shag my maid, eat a steak and finish off with a bowl of truffles and cream, then smoke a fat cigar whilst laughing at my compilation of charity TV spots in my private cinema.

Then I get comfy in my silk sheets, breath in a deep breath of privilege, and go to sleep.

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A perfect day :five:
I wish I had that.... :moon:
Of course you do. You have it better than the rest of us.
meanwhile all the white skets gettin shagged by big black men
Reply 5
Avatar for KingBradly
KingBradly
OP
1
Original post by halal kebab5
meanwhile all the white skets gettin shagged by big black men


*white women
I love being a Protestant, white male.
Reply 7
Avatar for stop888
stop888
11
You've described my day perfectly :u: (not)
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 8
Avatar for K.C
K.C
11
yep
Reply 9
Avatar for Katty3
Katty3
16
As I'm neither straight nor male...

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 10
Avatar for Goaded
Goaded
17
100%
what the **** is this


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by halal kebab5
meanwhile all the white skets gettin shagged by big black men


Looooool the OP was being an ******* but seriously
Sooner or later you won't have these privileges. Enjoy them to your full potential.
Original post by PrincessZara
Sooner or later you won't have these privileges.

Sounds ominous...
This made me laugh so hard I peed myself.
Being a brown male I occasionally ponder why I was dealt such a cruel hand by whatever omnipotent power controls our destinies. But then the moment passes and I swiftly return to being the subservient Asian nerd my privileged white male friends all know and love.

One of them asks whether I was thinking about the curry being cooked at home or a distant relative living in poverty in the east and we have a jolly good laugh about it.
Original post by Aristotle's' Disciple
Being a brown male I occasionally ponder why I was dealt such a cruel hand by whatever omnipotent power controls our destinies. But then the moment passes and I swiftly return to being the subservient Asian nerd my privileged white male friends all know and love.

One of them asks whether I was thinking about the curry being cooked at home or a distant relative living in poverty in the east and we have a jolly good laugh about it.


Look on the bright side mate. At least you're not a woman.
Lmao XD I'm crying!
Reply 19
Avatar for _Fergo
_Fergo
19
That was actually clever... For once. :wink:

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