Should I pay for the girl?

Have arranged to do an activity with a girl that I like and want to be intimate with eventually.

She doesn't know that yet. Question: should I pay for the stuff I do with her or split the cost?

I am not loaded btw.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

battycatlady

Split the cost!

Expecting the bloke to always pay is unfair to the man and is sexist to the woman as it relates back to the idea that a woman must be 'kept' by her chap.

p.s. you could be a girl but I assume you are a bloke to be asking this question, so sorry if I got that wrong.

Reply 2

Josb

Original post by zill1

What 'stuff' exactly?

Reply 3

username155270

It's the first date you pay. I can't believe guys really are so unsure of this.

And you arranged it. I used to believe the guy must pay for the dates but I think now at least on the first date, to be a gentlemen you take the tab. And then if you get a second date and more she can pay sometimes. At least offer.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 4

battycatlady

Original post by xobeauty

It's the first date you pay. I can't believe guys really are so unsure of this.

Why should he have to?

It's not the 1800s.

I don't want to be paid for just because I'm a girl. It's sexist to women and unfair to men.

You either split or you take it in turns to pay for stuff.

Reply 5

username155270

Original post by battycatlady

Why should he have to?

It's not the 1800s.

I don't want to be paid for just because I'm a girl. It's sexist to women and unfair to men.

You either split or you take it in turns to pay for stuff.

I never lived in the 1800s and I know it's a gentleman thing to do. Pay on the first date, especially if your the one who Asked her out. I guess opening the door for a woman is sexist too? Because she has arms that work right? Every sweet gesture a man does something for you it's "sexist" please. This attitude is why guys these days are such *******s compared to guys back then.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 6

John55

Original post by xobeauty

What if the girl asks the guy out, in that case should she pay for the date, and be a gentlewoman?

Reply 7

battycatlady

Original post by xobeauty

I never lived in the 1800s and I know it's a gentleman thing to do. Pay on the first date, especially if your the one who Asked her out. I guess opening the door for a woman is sexist too? Because she has arms that work right? Everything sweet gesture of a man does something for you it's "sexist" please. This attitude is why guys three days are such *******s compared to guys back then.

It's not sexist to open a door for someone. It's sexist to open a door for someone specifically because they're a woman. You should hold the door open because it's basic human decency, not because you're trying to pull. Whoever gets there first should open the door.

Paying for someone on a date is fine. What's not fine is assuming the man should pay because he's a man or a woman expecting that.

On a first date, tbh, you should both offer to pay IMO. And while one person almost always ends up paying on a date (which is cool), to expect it of someone based on gender is stupid.

Also, yes, so glad I don't live back then, where I didn't have a vote or that much choice in who I married.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 8

username155270

Original post by battycatlady

Sorry I lost interest in convo with you. You take this sexist thing to another level.

Reply 9

John55

In my opinion OP, if I went on a date with a girl (By some HALLELUJAH miracle) and she expected me to pay for the whole thing then I'd be a bit put of...

Reply 10

battycatlady

Original post by xobeauty

Sorry I lost interest in convo with you. You take this sexist thing to another level.

Good response. You really have me convinced I'm wrong now.

Reply 11

battycatlady

Original post by John55

In my opinion OP, if I went on a date with a girl (By some HALLELUJAH miracle) and she expected me to pay for the whole thing then I'd be a bit put of...

Exactlyyyy. As a woman it would be very unfair of me to want equal rights but still expect to be paid for on a date, a notion which stems from sexism.

Reply 12

username155270

Original post by John55

What if the girl asks the guy out, in that case should she pay for the date, and be a gentlewoman?

Yes..... That's ok. If she arranges and it was her idea she could pay.

Reply 13

username155270

Original post by battycatlady

Good response. You really have me convinced I'm wrong now.

I don't need to convince you you have you mind set lol I already know your mind is sexist this sexist that. I can't bother with minds like that.

Reply 14

battycatlady

Original post by xobeauty

I don't need to convince you you have you mind set lol I already know your mind is sexist this sexist that. I can't bother with minds like that.

I don't have any mindset. I have a very open mind. If you present me with convincing arguments for why a girl should never pay on a first date that aren't 'it's a gentlemanly thing to do' I will listen to you.

Reply 15

John55

Original post by xobeauty

Yes..... That's ok. If she arranges and it was her idea she could pay.

Could or should?

Reply 16

username155270

Original post by John55

Could or should?

Could.

Reply 17

username457532

Original post by xobeauty

Sorry I lost interest in convo with you. You take this sexist thing to another level.

What? Because she wants to be treated like an adult human who is capable of opening doors and paying for her own food and drinks rather than a child who needs a man to look after her because she can't look after herself? Why would anyone ever want to do anything outside a restrictive, pre-defined gender role? Gosh darn, I have no idea...