I'm not sure if we should break up or not (kind of long!)

We've been seeing each other for a year now after meeting online. If I'm honest, I didn't find him very attractive from his pictures, and I was even less attracted after meeting up (we've met like 5 times). Our relationship is long distance too so meeting up is difficult. On the days we do meet, he says we should stick to about 4 hours as any longer than that is 'too long'. Our work schedules conflict too, he likes to sleep very early on work days, so we don't call or webcam those nights, and I have very early shifts - again no calling, it keeps getting in the way.

Another thing is, he is very, very insecure about his looks, and I've always told him he was beautiful. I like confident guys or shy guys that can talk somewhat, but he won't even talk to anybody, he won't kiss me or hold my hand in public as it's 'awkward' in public he says? He NEVER makes decisions either as to what we should do or where we could go, it's always 'I dunno' meaning I have to decide every little detail. He is very volatile too, when things go wrong in our relationship, he harms himself, sometimes faints and ends up in hospital. He depends on me A LOT and leaving him could be very disastrous so I'm scared. Am I just going through a phase? I don't know what to do anymore.

Ok don't think we're getting the full picture here

i think the best thing you can do is tell him how you feel, see how he reacts and then go from there. if he agrees or whatever than maybe you're best not together, or he could want to make it work and change his ways if that makes sense, like he might start making more effort ect. if thats what you wanted anyway, just make sure you dont stay in a situation where you are unhappy!

He's high maintenance and draining you. Time has run it's course. Move on and find someone closer to home (much closer)!

Life is too short as it is to faff around with difficult long distance relationships - especially when you are so obviously getting very little in return for your (albeit limited) effort.

Don't dwell on it. He is not your responsibility and definitely do not succumb to any emotional blackmail threats of self-harm. However hard that is to take, he has a choice - to self-harm or not to self-harm and you are absolutely NOT responsible for his choice.

Dump him now and begin your new life without the noose and concrete shoes.

Good luck.

From what you've described, it sounds like it won't work out from your point of view, though everything may seem fine to him.

If you do break up with him, explain exactly why and how he can improve.

And I'm not sure how often you actaully call him or talk to him but maybe you do too much and've run out of things to say.

He wanted us to call every night at first for about 2-3 hours for the first 9 months (so until we went to bed basically). He also wanted me to call when I was on the way home from work (so another 2 hours.. I'd try to end it after an hour but he'd get annoyed and cut the call because he wanted 2 hours to talk, I was a bit sick of calling at this point because I'd already be tired from working and would want to relax already - he did apologise for cutting the call and hasn't done it again. We'd also be texting throughout the day.

I haven't been calling him on my way home anymore even though he wants to. I haven't been texting much, I haven't been into webcamming. I don't know, I don't mind him talking to me but I've just been loving my own space recently and doing my own thing. Selfish I know.

how exactly is he the high maintenance one? read properly lol

We've been seeing each other for a year now after meeting online. If I'm honest, I didn't find him very attractive from his pictures, and I was even less attracted after meeting up (we've met like 5 times). Our relationship is long distance too so meeting up is difficult. On the days we do meet, he says we should stick to about 4 hours as any longer than that is 'too long'. Our work schedules conflict too, he likes to sleep very early on work days, so we don't call or webcam those nights, and I have very early shifts - again no calling, it keeps getting in the way.

I don't really want to be in this relationship anymore. I fell in love with his personality but the things I found cute are now annoying. I never was affectionate, but turned affectionate for him and now I've become unaffectionate again. I don't like calling anymore as we have nothing to talk about, unless I think of all the topics and I'm sick of it. I feel like this everyday but I keep hoping I'll feel differently tomorrow.. I do some days but most days I feel like I honestly wouldn't mind being single. I was single for a long time before this, and I really liked focusing on myself.

Another thing is, he is very, very insecure about his looks, and I've always told him he was beautiful. I like confident guys or shy guys that can talk somewhat, but he won't even talk to anybody, he won't kiss me or hold my hand in public as it's 'awkward' in public he says? He NEVER makes decisions either as to what we should do or where we could go, it's always 'I dunno' meaning I have to decide every little detail. He is very volatile too, when things go wrong in our relationship, he harms himself, sometimes faints and ends up in hospital. He depends on me A LOT and leaving him could be very disastrous so I'm scared. Am I just going through a phase? I don't know what to do anymore.