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False modesty

Does anyone else hate people who fake modesty?

I find it rather irksome. It's fine to be proud of your accomplishments and I don't think you're better if you pretend to be bad at something and then demonstrate you're infact amazing.

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Original post by Student403
^^


Yes?
Original post by Kvothe the arcane
Does anyone else hate people who fake modesty?

I find it rather irksome. It's fine to be proud of your accomplishments and I don't think you're better if you pretend to be bad at something and then demonstrate you're infact amazing.


people hate me for being an arrogant prick but i see if i try to fake modesty people will hate me either way. no matter what you do someone will always hate you for it.

i dont give a **** how modest or arrogant someone is or whether they are faking it or not, it's none of my business
Original post by Kvothe the arcane
Yes?


^^ = above post.. I agree
Reply 5
^^
Original post by imsoanonymous123
people hate me for being an arrogant prick but i see if i try to fake modesty people will hate me either way. no matter what you do someone will always hate you for it.

i dont give a **** how modest or arrogant someone is or whether they are faking it or not, it's none of my business


I don't mind arrogance perse. If you can't back it then I'll be there to laugh :wink:.

I just find that people who do this are desperate for someone to say "oh, but you're actually great" and I don't like being manipulated in that way.

Original post by Student403
^^ = above post.. I agree


Oh. I thought you were saying I was guilty of this.
Original post by Kvothe the arcane
I wouldn't mind if you're arrogant if you have something to back it up. Besides, if you embarrass yourself, it's something amazing.

I just find that people who do this are desperate for someone to say "oh, but you're actually great" and I don't like being manipulated in that way.



Oh. I thought you were saying I was guilty of this.


Lol not at all. You seem like a pretty modest chap :smile:
If you have followed me on tsr you will agree that I'm the perfect portrayal of modesty.
Yea, fake insecurities are slightly related but equally annoying. I find that a bit more forgivable as you can never know truely if they doubt their abilities.

It's after they get their result. That friend who belittles their own accomplishments and makes you feel **** about what you've struggled to achieve.
Especially when people act really sour about getting a result others work hard for. E.g. being openly sour about getting an A and saying how it's "so crap", just because they didn't get an A*. Be unhappy if your expectations are high, but don't belittle the result because others work hard for it.
Original post by Student403
Especially when people act really sour about getting a result others work hard for. E.g. being openly sour about getting an A and saying how it's "so crap", just because they didn't get an A*. Be unhappy if your expectations are high, but don't belittle the result because others work hard for it.


Well I'm a person that has cried over As before so I think it's fine to have high expectations.

If however I'm in that sort of mood, I'm careful to not say "it's nothing" because I appreciate that it might hurt others feelings.
What if you genuinely believe you're bad at something, and are genuinely surprised at the subsequent result? As an undergrad there were several occasions where I'd submitted an essay that I really did think was below-par and that wouldn't get a good grade, and somehow ended up with a 1st. I can understand why it's frustrating for friends when that happens, but if the feeling is genuine then what can you do about it?
Original post by Kvothe the arcane
Well I'm a person that has cried over As before so I think it's fine to have high expectations.

If however I'm in that sort of mood, I'm careful to not say "it's nothing" because I appreciate that it might hurt others feelings.

Yup

Hence why I said "Be unhappy if your expectations are high, but don't belittle the result"

Meaning don't explicitly say "An A is soo bad" or something along the lines.
Reply 14
Sometimes it's to do with the Dunning-Kruger effect, some people who are really good at something genuinely don't realise that their so good at it, they assume that tasks which are easy for them are also easy for others.
Original post by Student403
Yup

Hence why I said "Be unhappy if your expectations are high, but don't belittle the result"

Meaning don't explicitly say "An A is soo bad" or something along the lines.


Though again, people like that might might truely see it that way. I often don't know how I'll do after exams and interviews and things. My gripe is with those who are being dishonest.

Original post by llacerta
What if you genuinely believe you're bad at something, and are genuinely surprised at the subsequent result? As an undergrad there were several occasions where I'd submitted an essay that I really did think was below-par and that wouldn't get a good grade, and somehow ended up with a 1st. I can understand why it's frustrating for friends when that happens, but if the feeling is genuine then what can you do about it?


Perhaps the first time, sure. Of course there are times when this happens. But I can imagine it's rather annoying when it's a repeated occurrence. When it's clear someone is just trying to hype in on the feeling of feeling bad.
(edited 8 years ago)
I haven't made my mind up on this one. Sometimes modesty is good even when it's faked but when it's faked only to be completely obliterated by success they knew they were heading for then it's like oh for ****s sake what a... It is annoying that they just pretended for their own benefit and gratification when their actual 'result' or whatever comes through they get the double satisfaction.

Although having said that sometimes it's difficult to tell whether someone was just playing it cool so as not to get disappointed/to disappoint people with expectations for them.
It depends what they were being 'falsely' modest about.
I agree!! It's ridiculous and so transparent.
It totally bothers me so much!
Original post by Little Popcorns
I haven't made my mind up on this one. Sometimes modesty is good even when it's faked but when it's faked only to be completely obliterated by success they knew they were heading for then it's like oh for ****s sake what a... It is annoying that they just pretended for their own benefit and gratification when their actual 'result' or whatever comes through they get the double satisfaction.

Although having said that sometimes it's difficult to tell whether someone was just playing it cool so as not to get disappointed/to disappoint people with expectations for them.
It depends what they were being 'falsely' modest about.


Like when you were at school and the smart kid was always like: OMG I didnt even open this, Im gonna fail. And then ofc they get an A* :colonhash:

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