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The past participle for regular -ER verbs is the verb with the -ER removed and é in its place, not è - i.e. je suis allé(e)
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Watch your presentation, i.e. " , Je voudrais", that's just laziness
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You must vary your vocabulary, especially connectives, I read ensuite at least 3 times
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Again about presentation, make sure what you're saying actually makes sense. You can't use "finalement" and then go back in with "ensuite", because you're contradicting yourself as "finally" suggests you're making your final point.
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Watch how you're using é and è. As a general tip, if you're not sure which one to use, use é as it's the one you'll see most often, at least at GCSE. But you should know how to spell simple words like année, not annè
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