Should a friend always support you and stick up for you?

I had a situation where I fell out with somebody recently.

I told one of my friends about it, but they seem to continually try to support the other person's actions - to, according to them, 'take an open mind'.

Is it wrong for me to think that my friends should always stick up for me?

Reply 1

username2337813

If you were in the wrong, then no.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by hxfsxh

If you were in the wrong, then no.

But I wasn't in the wrong. The person has used me and they know it. They are trying to see why they might have used me.

But shouldn't they support me and say that it was wrong, rather than trying to make his actions less condemnable?

Reply 3

username2337813

Original post by Anonymous

Ok, so it wasn't your fault. Maybe your friend is their friend also?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by hxfsxh

Ok, so it wasn't your fault. Maybe your friend is their friend also?

I think so.

I have known him longer. Shouldn't he support me :frown:

Reply 5

user73867

My opinion is that in public you should defend your friends to the hilt, jump into a brawl if they get into a scrap, etc

Then afterwards, in private have a word and say "Look mate you're being a bit of a d**head...sort it out."

Saves a lot of politic and embarrassment if you do it in public. That said, if they are doing some -incredibly- stupid then you just have to grab them.

What I'm trying to say is....if this person is saying these things to you in private, maybe they are still trying to look out for you by making sure you make the right choice.

SS

Edit: Before I posted there were a few posts giving more details...it's a difficult situation to comment on without more details. Supporting friends is good. Telling the truth is also good. Trying to justify wrong actions. Not so good.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 6

shawn_o1

what is the action that you think is wrong and they think isn't

Reply 7

username2337813

Original post by Anonymous

I think so.

I have known him longer. Shouldn't he support me :frown:

You're kinda acting like an obsessive friend- your friend can make their own decisions. Maybe they see the situation differently to you.

Reply 8

SophieSmall

No one has to support and stick up for you.

Have you considered that maybe your friends isn't supporting or sticking up for you because she disagrees with you?

Have you considered that maybe you are the one that is in the wrong here?

And do you really want friends that will never admit to you begin wrong or not challenging you and your views? Because I wouldn't.

Also you can't make people choose sides it's selfish and childish. Just because they're still friends with this person does not mean it has anything to do with you. That's life. People can see points of views from both sides you know, they don't have to choose.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 9

Blondie987

I believe that friends should support each other but at the same time they're their own person with their own opinions and they can't bend their ideas to suit those of other people if they honestly don't believe they are right. They should be open minded enough to try and understand your point of view but at the end of the day they need to have enough faith in your own beliefs to stand by them, having different ideas doesn't mean you can't be friends though and tbh it really depends on exactly what the argument is about.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 10

3121

Yes I would stick up for my friend even if I knew they weren't right, it's what friends do. Then in private I would discuss my disagreements with them and let them know next time I might not be as supportive

Reply 11

whorace

He thinks you are wrong, and given how adamant you are that you are not, you almost certainly are.

Reply 12

Jallusk

Maybe you're friend was trying to find the root of the problem. They may have wanted to find out why this was happening to try and gain a better understanding Igbo the whole situation. I'm sure your friend meant well by their actions

Reply 13

R0ckTillWeDr0p

Depends, me and one of my best mates both have/had a mutual friend who slept with my girlfriend, who's side does my friend take? neither I guess

Reply 14

Anonymous #2

Yes they should but most friends rarely do so you should do the same thing to her next time shes looking for you to take her side

Reply 15

keirajade3

There is this girl called destiny she is so horrible and makes me want to cry my best friend Caitlin Ava Charlotte and Emma are sticking up for her but not me destiny is so horrible and makes me want to cry my best friend Caitlin Ava Charlotte and Emma are sticking up for her but not me destiny is a person who likes to lie someday my friends will realise that destiny is wrong person to hang out with and stick up for .