As a fellow mixed race girl your posts screams of identity issues, a desperate lust if not obsession to be accepted by whites and even to blend into whites, and daddy issues from rejection by your black father and family. To an extent I can relate I have a Caribbean father and a Nordic mother so I came out very white looking indeed, but I'm not white nor am I black - I am both. I'm not attracted to black men myself and I've had a hard time with my father (who despite this is physically present and married to my mother). I just live my life though and don't get hung up on race or make it a focus. Trying to invent a sexuality to do with excluding a race seems pretty obsessional in my view, I would even go so far as to say the issue of race is sending you neurotic (see the term 'mixed nut' and 'tragic mulatta'. Just let it go, let it be and live your life. You don't have to invent more ridiculous labels and restrictions to justify your feelings of incompleteness. The less you think about race the better you will feel.