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Time to Talk Day 2016 (Thurs 4th Feb): let's talk about mental wellbeing!

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Original post by bullettheory
Oh no :frown: I hope things calm down soon. If you need to talk, feel free to pm. Feeling on the higher end can be really difficult, but just try to do as much calming things as possible.


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Thanks, sent out some crazy emails to people and uni/X Soc friends are trying to calm me down :colondollar:
I think it'd be good if we could get a discussion going on this thread about romantic relationship prejudice against mental health illness sufferers - what do you guys think? :smile:
Thanks for this thread.

The biggest problem I've found is that people seem to have in their heads this idea of what a typical sufferer of a condition looks or sounds like. If you don't fit that image then they'll scorn you or assume you're exaggerating everyday issues. And even when it comes to themselves, people can assume that there's no reason to seek help because they don't do [x] act.

I've friends who are clearly troubled but don't feel they're bad enough to seek support. I think everyone should be aiming for good mental health :h:.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by lustawny
I think it'd be good if we could get a discussion going on this thread about romantic relationship prejudice against mental health illness sufferers - what do you guys think? :smile:


Could you explain/elaborate a bit more on what you mean? Then I'll add it to the list.

Sorry brain not working atm :colondollar:

Original post by Kvothe the arcane
Thanks for this thread.

The biggest problem I've found is that people seem to have in their heads this idea of what a typical sufferer of a condition looks or sounds like. If you don't fit that image then they'll scorn you or assume you're exaggerating everyday issues. And even when it comes to themselves, people can assume that there's no reason to seek help because they don't do [x] act.

I've friends who are clearly troubled but don't feel they're bad enough to seek support. I think everyone should be aiming for good mental health :h:.


This is very true and it's really sad that people have to "look" or "act" a certain way in order to be "worthy" or "in need" of help. Thanks for bringing this up, it's certainly interesting to consider what these stereotypes are, who they serve and who they hinder :yes:
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd

This is very true and it's really sad that people have to "look" or "act" a certain way in order to be "worthy" or "in need" of help. Thanks for bringing this up, it's certainly interesting to consider what these stereotypes are, who they serve and who they hinder :yes:


I suppose they come from a good place. We don't want to enable people. For example, most people who are overweight don't have a condition which causes this so I can appreciate the skepticism that is applied to those that say they have such a condition - especially without diagnosis. So it is generally well accepted to tell overweight people to improve D+F.

Similarly people might feel that some individuals are simply trying to get sympathy or just need some sympathy. A person who has had to be tough in trying times might have less sympathy for certain people unless their behavior is out there.
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
Could you explain/elaborate a bit more on what you mean? Then I'll add it to the list.

Sorry brain not working atm :colondollar:


Well, I mean the fact that there's often a strong case for sufferers of any sort of mental health problem to be avoided/overlooked for a romantic relationship, purely based on the fact that they have a particular mental health problem - and thus are not considered by certain others to be "relationship material".

I don't quite know for sure if this is the right or wrong sort of attitude to take, so I thought it'd be quite interesting (and useful for me, personally) to get a discussion going on this thread about it and gather everyone's thoughts - which will (hopefully) take a huge weight off my mind! :smile:
Reply 26
This is a great thread.

I'm currently struggling with my MH, and struggling even more to get support. I won't go into all the details, it's just really difficult, and all the new people, new meetings, assessments, waiting for letters/decisions, repeat is making the problems worse. But, people just don't understand.

So, sorry for that little whatever which you probably don't need to read.
But, I think a good topic or thing to talk about whichever is peoples thoughts about services. There's lots in the news about how overstretched/underfunded the NHS is, and MH services seem to be always getting cut. Is it really that hard to work out that this makes people who are struggling decide not to bother trying to get help?
Me struggling, or more accurately not being understood is not new, and I've had a mixture of either really good or terrible services, and a mixture of how long and how much effort it took to get them.

My point is, we should think about peoples though or the media (sorry to blame them but we get most info from media I assume) views on support versus the facts-I'm hoping to learn a few things about it too.
Reply 27
Original post by lustawny
Well, I mean the fact that there's often a strong case for sufferers of any sort of mental health problem to be avoided/overlooked for a romantic relationship, purely based on the fact that they have a particular mental health problem - and thus are not considered by certain others to be "relationship material".

I don't quite know for sure if this is the right or wrong sort of attitude to take, so I thought it'd be quite interesting (and useful for me, personally) to get a discussion going on this thread about it and gather everyone's thoughts - which will (hopefully) take a huge weight off my mind! :smile:


Could you not use the fact that a MH condition is hidden to your advantage.

For example, if you are a wheelchair user you can't meet anyone without it being immediately obvious you have a disability, and then you facing all the judgement, stereotypes or anything else someone wants to give you before you've even said or done anything.

However, a MH problem is 'hidden' so, I would think that could be a advantage-how will people when you first meet them know you have it? They won't. Yes they may start to work it out if you get to know them, and you will get to know things about them. But I would have thought that introducing yourself like "hello I am ____ and I have ____ mental health problem" is probably a bad way to do it!

So, my thoughts on it are to stop worrying-it's probably not as obvious to other people as it feels to you, and you don't have a massive sign on your head saying whatever your problem is, it just feels like it to you because your the one affected by it and thinking about it so much.

Hope this helps.
Original post by lustawny
Well, I mean the fact that there's often a strong case for sufferers of any sort of mental health problem to be avoided/overlooked for a romantic relationship, purely based on the fact that they have a particular mental health problem - and thus are not considered by certain others to be "relationship material".

I don't quite know for sure if this is the right or wrong sort of attitude to take, so I thought it'd be quite interesting (and useful for me, personally) to get a discussion going on this thread about it and gather everyone's thoughts - which will (hopefully) take a huge weight off my mind! :smile:


I think it is the wrong attitude to take. Although I do recognize that I'm looking at the question from the "other" side.

I've been in a relationship for 8 years and have struggled with my mental health for around 9 years. Not gonna lie, it wasn't all plain sailing, we had a fair few problems along the way but we've now been married for 3 years and I think we have a generally great relationship. Sometimes I do things that scare her, or make her angry, usually relating to me wanting to come off the medication among other things but I really couldn't ask for a better relationship. She doesn't always understand, I think that would be impossible, but meetings with my psychiatrist and psychologist have helped her get a better idea about what I'm going through and how she can best help when appropriate. Erm...not entirely sure what you wanted but hopefully my ramblings might address something :colondollar:

If you have any questions; shoot. :smile:
Original post by dipka
Could you not use the fact that a MH condition is hidden to your advantage.

For example, if you are a wheelchair user you can't meet anyone without it being immediately obvious you have a disability, and then you facing all the judgement, stereotypes or anything else someone wants to give you before you've even said or done anything.

However, a MH problem is 'hidden' so, I would think that could be a advantage-how will people when you first meet them know you have it? They won't. Yes they may start to work it out if you get to know them, and you will get to know things about them. But I would have thought that introducing yourself like "hello I am ____ and I have ____ mental health problem" is probably a bad way to do it!

So, my thoughts on it are to stop worrying-it's probably not as obvious to other people as it feels to you, and you don't have a massive sign on your head saying whatever your problem is, it just feels like it to you because your the one affected by it and thinking about it so much.

Hope this helps.


I wouldn't bet that all mental health problems are hidden. For instance, someone who has been on antipsychotics a long time might have developed tardive dyskinesia, which is extremely visible and hence probably offputting. Another person might have self-harmed, often this is done on forearms and can lead to a lot of stigma. Other things might be stuff like problems with thinking & therefore speech which, along with other negative symptoms, often makes the MH seeable.
(edited 8 years ago)
I've been waiting for this thread forever! :woo: Thanks so much LGH! :smile:

I would like to talk about ED's and about how no one takes them seriously. People just assume that if you have an ED you're just seeking for attention and no one really realizes that it's a serious mental health issue that could possibly lead to death. When I was at my lowest weight I had a lot of people accuse me of being shallow and apparently I was offending the the bigger girls. They had that idea that I was just being stupid and shallow for not eating when 'clearly' I'm bony enough and if anyone deserves to feel insecure it was them.
We really need to get rid of that idea becasue when we get people to actually understand what an ED is and how to notice when a loved one has one then the road to recovery for those that have one would be a lot shorter :smile:
Reply 31
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
Hello everyone! :hi:

Firstly, thank you for being interested enough to click on my thread :biggrin:

This thread is to mark Time to Talk Day 2016 (Thursday 4th February). If you haven't heard of Time to Talk Day before, it's an initiative by the Time to Change mental health campaign ( http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/ ) run by the mental health charities Mind ( http://www.mind.org.uk/ ) and Rethink Mental Illness (https://www.rethink.org/home ). The point behind Time to Talk Day, which happens each spring, is to encourage open dialogue about mental health and mental health conditions, in order to challenge stigma and misconceptions.

As someone who is a passionate champion of mental health stigma-busting on TSR, I would like to invite you to follow this thread (which hopefully covers some useful information and signposts to various organisations) and to ask any questions, share any thoughts or experiences that you or friends/loved ones have had, or just to say hi! :h:

So what is this thread for/about?

ITT (In this thread), I will talk about some general practices that we can all incorporate into our everyday lives, to help with our mental wellbeing. They are not difficult in themselves, and hopefully you will be encouraged by how easy it can be to do little things to enable your mental wellbeing to remain safe, stable and relatively calm. If relevant, I will draw upon my own experiences of mental illness (specifically, schizoaffective disorder, which affects 0.5% of the British population) to illustrate points or get conversations going.

This thread is NOT an AMA, though you are welcome to ask relevant, sensible questions about my own lived experiences of mental health, and my work as a Youth Wellbeing Trainer with the Mindkit project being trialled in 5 London boroughs ( http://mindkit.org.uk/ ). Trolling or using offensive, derogatory terminology is NOT acceptable and WILL be reported to the CT immediately.

Why do we need this thread on TSR? I don't have a mental health problem...

Did you know that 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem at some point in their life, and that 1 in 10 school-aged students have a mental health diagnosis? If you are school-aged that means three people in every form class (give or take) have a diagnosed mental health problem. This means they have gone to a doctor and received a diagnosis; this statistic does NOT account for those who are suffering in silence and - for whatever reason - have not seen their GP. This implies that there may be even more people with mental health problems than is currently realised/known about :eek:

Equally, the demand for university counselling services and the long waiting lists for NHS and university interventions (e.g. therapy or counselling, or even just to see someone for an initial assessment) proves that poor mental health/mental health problems are rife in the UK.

You personally may not have a mental health problem (yet). That is not, however, to say that this will always be the case. Mental health problems can affect everyone, whether it be you; your loved ones; your friends; your enemies; your teachers; your co-workers, or even celebrities you admire! :sadnod: In any case, the term "mental wellbeing" does not just refer to mental health problems specifically: it is an umbrella term to talk about anything that may affect our mood, thoughts, feelings, or the way we see the world or interact with others. Mental wellbeing is something EVERYONE has and that EVERYONE needs to take care of.

What should I do if I suspect that I or someone I know could be suffering from a mental health problem?

If you have noticed something amiss with either yourself or someone you know and you suspect you/that person may be suffering from a mental health problem, it is important to address is straightaway. In the same way that a malignant cancerous tumour will not go away if you ignore it but only gets bigger, worse and less treatable, your mental health is exactly the same. The quicker the interventions, the better the overall prognosis for your mental health (as a general rule of thumb).

In the majority of cases, the first port of call would be visiting your GP practice :doctor: Whilst the Internet can be useful in terms of contextualising symptoms you may be experiencing, it is important that you do not self-diagnose or attempt to self-medicate. GPs are well-versed in dealing with those with mental health problems, either themselves or by referring them on to specialist teams with more knowledge and greater resources. It is worth noting that there are waiting lists for counselling services, therapy interventions and referrals to psychiatry, so the sooner you see your GP, the better.

I/the person I know am/is too scared to approach my GP. What should I/they do?

Whilst you will inevitably need to see a doctor at some point, there are various other places you can turn to for immediate/interim support:

The Site: http://www.thesite.org/mental-health

Childline (school-age): https://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx

The NSPCC (under 16): https://www.nspcc.org.uk/

Get Connected (under 25s): http://www.getconnected.org.uk/

Off the Record Youth Counselling: various websites across England for young people to seek counselling services/counsellors. Google for your local area!

Young Minds: http://www.youngminds.org.uk/

Sane Helpline: http://www.sane.org.uk/what_we_do/support/helpline

The Samaritans: http://www.samaritans.org/

On TSR, there is a Mental Health Support Society in the Mental Health forum :yes:

***Please note this is by no means an exhaustive list and is not a substitute for medical intervention. If you or someone you know is at risk/in immediate danger, please go straight to A&E or call an ambulance***

**********************************************************************************

I think that's enough to get going with. I will be adding to this thread over the next few days and invite open, honest but RESPECTFUL conversation from all members of TSR. Those who have lived mental health experiences themselves or are a carer for someone are most welcome to write at length in here: this is not TLG's thread, this is a Time to Talk thread.

Please be sensible when contributing: if you are talking about something particularly sensitive, that may upset or trigger others, please SPOILER IT. If in doubt, ask how to do spoilers on TSR. PLEASE DO NOT POST GRAPHIC CONTENT OR METHODS, EVEN IN A SPOILER!

So let's get talking, peeps! :grouphugs:


My sixth form sponsors Mind... :smile: :h:
Thanks for all posts since I last responded! My laptop hates TSR again but once I can steal someone else's laptop, will try and reply all posts/points! :grouphugs:

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Reply 33
Original post by Sabertooth
I wouldn't bet that all mental health problems are hidden. For instance, someone who has been on antipsychotics a long time might have developed tardive dyskinesia, which is extremely visible and hence probably offputting. Another person might have self-harmed, often this is done on forearms and can lead to a lot of stigma. Other things might be stuff like problems with thinking & therefore speech which, along with other negative symptoms, often makes the MH seeable.


I'll be honest, I don't have a clue what those things are antipsychotics and tardive dyskinesia. Do you want to explain?
For self harm, if it's on forearms just wear long sleeve t-shirt/jumper when you first meet someone, and tell them when you feel ready. That's what I do.
Not sure what you mean with problems with thinking or speech relating to MH? Can you explain how a speech problem could be MH?

Original post by StrawbAri
I've been waiting for this thread forever! :woo: Thanks so much LGH! :smile:

I would like to talk about ED's and about how no one takes them seriously. People just assume that if you have an ED you're just seeking for attention and no one really realizes that it's a serious mental health issue that could possibly lead to death. When I was at my lowest weight I had a lot of people accuse me of being shallow and apparently I was offending the the bigger girls. They had that idea that I was just being stupid and shallow for not eating when 'clearly' I'm bony enough and if anyone deserves to feel insecure it was them.
We really need to get rid of that idea becasue when we get people to actually understand what an ED is and how to notice when a loved one has one then the road to recovery for those that have one would be a lot shorter :smile:


I completely agree with this!
It's the same with Self Harm though, no-one realises how serious that is, except from teachers/nurses/safeguarding etc who go the other extreme all the time.
Let the day begin...

Love to everyone.
Original post by Little Popcorns
Let the day begin...

Love to everyone.


Indeed :h:

So sorry I haven't posted properly today - mania is still a big problem :frown:

Will nick my mum's laptop tomorrow whilst she's at work so I can be more active :biggrin:

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Original post by Little Popcorns
Let the day begin...

Love to everyone.


Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
Indeed :h:

So sorry I haven't posted properly today - mania is still a big problem :frown:

Will nick my mum's laptop tomorrow whilst she's at work so I can be more active :biggrin:

Posted from TSR Mobile


Happy Time to Talk Day! :hugs:
Original post by dipka
I'll be honest, I don't have a clue what those things are antipsychotics and tardive dyskinesia. Do you want to explain?
For self harm, if it's on forearms just wear long sleeve t-shirt/jumper when you first meet someone, and tell them when you feel ready. That's what I do.
Not sure what you mean with problems with thinking or speech relating to MH? Can you explain how a speech problem could be MH?


I don't think it's reasonable to think that everyone who has self-harmed should cover up all the time - I mean you never know when you're going to meet someone new! (I know not everyone lives somewhere hot, but the temperature even in the UK can become uncomfortable for long sleeves in the summer). It's great that it works for you but I think that covering up isn't always appropriate and probably makes people feel shitty that the stigma is there. (I know what I want to say here but can't quite think of the words :colondollar: )

Basically antipsychotics are the drugs prescribed for psychosis, such as in schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. The problem with them is that sometimes they lead to tardive dyskinesia which is when the person makes uncontrollable movements, particularly of the face. Like sticking out tongue, chewing motions, sucking etc - for some people this is irreversible and it's not really something people can hide. At the psychiatrist I go to a lot of the older patients have TD and it terrifies me that it might happen to me.

As for problems with speech/thinking, it comes under "negative symptoms" (basically things that are missing - as opposed to positive symptoms where there are extra things (hallucinations/delusions)). For many people with psychotic disorders "thinking straight" can be difficult, for instance because of auditory hallucinations - it can be very difficult to ignore when a voice is telling the person things, maybe shouting, so speech becomes less intelligible. Sometimes the person may have a blank facial and not express emotions. Other things are like making up nonsensical words, rhyming speech, poor memory, motivation, and concentration all of which are pretty easy for the other person to pick up on.

Dunno if I quite described things accurately for you, but hopefully you will get my meaning. :smile:
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by lustawny
Happy Time to Talk Day! :hugs:

Yes hugs/talk day :tongue:
:hugs:
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
Indeed :h:

So sorry I haven't posted properly today - mania is still a big problem :frown:

Will nick my mum's laptop tomorrow whilst she's at work so I can be more active :biggrin:

Posted from TSR Mobile
No worries hun I'm feeling spectacularly rubbish on this day of mental health myself so it's all quite fitting :tongue:

Hope you're feeling better? If not don't worry you'll fit right into this day! Tehe.

:hugs:

Have a cbt session today really will get to do some genuine mental health talk. Okay I'm being silly now sorry :getmecoat: joking aside I really do have cbt :h:

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