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Those who have cheated

My gf (now ex) seemed to be HUGELY into me before leaving for uni. Some of the things she said both to me and about me were out of this world intense - kids, future - you can think it, she probably said it. Both to me and to her friends.

Yet she went away to uni and after 2 weeks she had slept with another guy, didn't seem to be thinking about me at all and completely blocked me out before breaking up.

I see something like this from a supposed expert: http://uk.askmen.com/dating/doclove/doclove16.html and I find myself wondering whether it was a reflection upon me. I understand that cheating is never justifiable but is it just the uni environment that gets to some people, particularly those with low self-esteem and a history of promiscuity/cheating or would she have made it work with someone she was more into? (if that was the problem)
If she is the type of person to cheat, she would have cheated on her boyfriend no matter who he was.

The fact whether or not she was really into you is not the problem.
My girlfriend of over a year (then) did this when I moved to another country. We talked about marriage etc but she continued to do this regularly, without my knowledge, for another year and a half and allowed me to spend close to £1000 on travelling back the following summer (most of it went to the plane ticket) and staying with her for a couple of months. She began to lose interest after I returned home from my summer visit to her and broke up with me 4 or 5 months afterwards. I only found out about the true extent of her infidelity from a mutual friend of ours a few months after we broke up.

You aren't the only one. And I know I am a catch as I've done pretty well with the ladies since. Sometimes it's just not enough for some people. :smile:
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 3
Avatar for 1420787
1420787
3
Some people cheat. They are not worth the time spent dwelling on it.

Plenty of much nicer people in this world.
At university an extremely large amount of people cheat..... just how it goes sadly. In my experience I know more people who cheated (the vast majority never were found out) than those who did not.
Some people are emotionally very shallow, at one point they think they will spend their life with one person, and the next they are passionate about another.


It's not just women or in relationships, you get typical people who convert to a new religion and are really pious for a couple of years then go onto something else or people who spend thousands of pounds on musical equipment, practice for hours daily then suddenly quit.
why is cheating wrong?
Original post by Anonymous
why is cheating wrong?


There are paragraphs and paragraphs I could write about this, but the moral compass inside of you already knows the answer to this question.
Original post by Anonymous
why is cheating wrong?


are you actually being serious rn?/
Reply 9
Avatar for whorace
whorace
2
Original post by AntiBabylonista
Some people are emotionally very shallow, at one point they think they will spend their life with one person, and the next they are passionate about another.


It's not just women or in relationships, you get typical people who convert to a new religion and are really pious for a couple of years then go onto something else or people who spend thousands of pounds on musical equipment, practice for hours daily then suddenly quit.


This is me in a very weird way, I have never been able to commit to anything, university, work, family, even the thought of having a house scares the life out of me because I want to up and move every 5 minutes. I don't know how this happened to be honest.

Funnily enough though not only have I never cheated but whenever I am in a relationship I actually find myself committing. I think it's because I actually have to think about someone I care about for a change.
Original post by BlackSweetness
are you actually being serious rn?/


I know someone who genuinely believes there is nothing wrong with it...
Original post by AntiBabylonista
Some people are emotionally very shallow, at one point they think they will spend their life with one person, and the next they are passionate about another.


It's not just women or in relationships, you get typical people who convert to a new religion and are really pious for a couple of years then go onto something else or people who spend thousands of pounds on musical equipment, practice for hours daily then suddenly quit.


And that's about them? Not the other individual/interest?
Original post by Anonymous
And that's about them? Not the other individual/interest?


I believe so, I've noticed people who do it once are like that in general.
Original post by whorace
This is me in a very weird way, I have never been able to commit to anything, university, work, family, even the thought of having a house scares the life out of me because I want to up and move every 5 minutes. I don't know how this happened to be honest.

Funnily enough though not only have I never cheated but whenever I am in a relationship I actually find myself committing. I think it's because I actually have to think about someone I care about for a change.


Do you ever feel like you don't really care about certain things normal people care about, but develop this really heightened love for your partner?
If you use "uni environment" as an excuse for cheating, you were always a cheater. No environment will bring it out. There is something called discretion, discipline and loyalty. So don't make that excuse for her OP. Toss her. She no good :nope:
Original post by mango peeler
If you use "uni environment" as an excuse for cheating, you were always a cheater. No environment will bring it out. There is something called discretion, discipline and loyalty.


Trust me, I agree. But I want to understand whether it was a reflection on me - how it could have been considering how manically intense it was before we left.

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