Prisoner in own flat

I feel like im a prisoner in my own flat.
My flatmate has recently turned into a *****, craving sex all the time and lately doesnt seem to care where, or who with, except me..
She knows how lonely I feel, and how much I hate it when she brings someone back..Tonight, she was practically legless, and brought two people home, a guy and her ex girlfriend, and they've been having sex for over two hours now on the sofa in the main room.

Despite this being my flat too, I just kept getting shouted at to stay in my own bedroom as they were busy, and the ex girlfriend has been insulting me all night about how theres not enough alcohol in the world for anyone to sleep with me and how my flatmate apparently hates me and had already had sex with the guy 4 times by that point (in an attempt to hurt me).
When this ex isnt around, my flatmate and I get on great like best friends, but when shes around, im nothing more than a meal ticket as she uses the rent money from me to go out partying and shopping.
Their friend and my flatmates sister who both know what they are being like to me keep saying I should move out. My parents keep saying move out. Pretty much everyone says I should move out, and ive had two offers.

Do you think though by moving out, i'll ruin whatever friendship is left with my flatmate? Ive invested so much time and money into this flat too though, and changed details like electoral roll, bills, council info..
Is this actually the best course of action to up and do it all again?! I just dont know what to do and I feel so alone and depressed :frown:

Edit: After they had finished, she tried kicking them out, they got nasty, the guy punched my cat so I went for him, flatmate attacked the ex..oh boy that was an interesting hour..then had to spend 40 mins sitting with my flatmate calming her down, and she got progressivly drunker again as the adrenalin wore off! Drink really is a horrible thing, and she has a drinking problem but theres nothing I can do :frown:

(edited 8 years ago)

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Reply 1

Tiger Rag

You're obviously not happy there at all. I'd move out personally.

Reply 2

circlecircle

The situation sounds manipulative and abusive. You deserve to be treated well in your own home.

Move out as soon as you can. You don't deserve to be exploited, emotionally abused or threatened, and you deserve full use of the common areas of your tenancy.

Reply 3

whydoidothis?

Move out

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 4

MaseratiJay

You need to move
It's not really a big deal regarding the bills etc..same way you changed it same way you can change it again.

It's not an ideal situation for you to be in.

Move on from the flat and everyone in it, start again :smile:

Reply 5

sunnydespair

You're renting this flat ? If the rental contract has expired then move out if you don't like your housemate/s

Reply 6

username2130115

move out; you don't want to be living with a bunch of dirty tossers. there's no virtue in being treated like a doormat in your own ******* home.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 7

SophieSmall

Move out, there is no friendship to salvage.

Reply 8

AntiBabylonista

Sounds awful.

The animal abuse is the worst thing.

Reply 9

tribiasfour

I would move out - sometimes friendships flourish better with a little distance, and if you and your cat are in danger of getting hurt, be it emotionally or physically, you shouldn't stay. I hope you and your cat are okay, and that the guy who punched your cat gets eaten by a lion or something.

Reply 10

Cremated_Spatula

Original post by Johnsheppard99

Call me mentally unstable, but I would have stabbed them a long time ago.

Reply 11

Johnsheppard99

She did it again Sunday night!! Blind drunk in the afternoon, her sisters sent her home on the bus and I got a text saying she was taking the ex-girlfriend back to ours again..so I stayed out the entire night as I couldn't face going home again knowing she was there!!
Finally returned home at 3am, to find the front door left open, my flatmate passed out naked on the sofa, used condoms and their wrappers on the floor and sofa and looked like the living room had been ransacked..apparently she had picked up another random guy to take home, her third stranger in a week!
When I tried putting my foot down about her behavour, she got bitchy with me screaming stop trying to control her life, she doesnt try to control mine, and its nothing to do with me, she wants to have fun, and her exact words were "I want to be a whore and sleep around while im single!", and said she doesnt want to argue with me, because she doesnt even want to talk to me now and to stop interfearing. Sure enough, she hasnt spoken to me since!

Reply 12

Tiger Rag

I'd bring this up with the landlord personally. She's right - it is her life and she can do what she likes. But I wouldn't be too pleased to come home to find the front door wide open either.

Reply 13

username47781

Original post by Johnsheppard99

I would do what Tiger Rag says, speak to the landlord, no one deserves being treated like this in their own home.

Reply 14

Drez999

You have to decide what you do for your own well being.
However, you have a duty of care to your cat. A responsible and caring pet owner would not risk putting their pet in further danger.
Anyone punching a cat is (IMPO) completely sick and out of control.

Reply 15

luminarychild

WTAF if they shouted at me I would go ape **** on them :lol:

Seriously move out, you will not regret it

Reply 16

Tammy5tina

I would leave ASAP, she obviously doesn't care about herself, or you and seeing as the cat was attacked and she haven't changed her ways is a sure sign getting out of there and bringing random people over all the time is not good! You moving out will give her a serious ultimatum, wether she grows up or acts still like a fool! Put your own happiness first and you won't regret it!

Reply 17

ZuluK

Original post by Cremated_Spatula

Call me mentally unstable, but I would have stabbed them a long time ago.

I'd hate to say it but this ^

Reply 18

user73867

Hi John.

Whilst its clear you seem to have some feelings or feel a sense of responsibility towards this young lady; you're being treated abysmally.

You need to lay down the law about what's acceptable in your home.

If she refuses to change or gives you any self-righteous nonsense then bug out and don't look back.

You can't save that girl, mate.

SS

Reply 19

Johnsheppard99

Well it looks like the time is almost here.

She kicked off AGAIN last night, this time on facebook and texts about the ex-girlfriend being too afraid to speak to her again because of me messaging the girls gran to pass onto the mother to stop the ex being here all the time, and if that happens she'll never forgive me etc as she can't live without her in her life..the ex-girlfriend was then messaging saying she doesnt want anything to do with my flatmate, but she keeps begging for sex and doesnt take no for an answer so its her fault.
Then flatmate posted to facebook ranting why can't friends keep out of her buisness and dont they think of the consequenses of their actions..then people started to reply, one said why dont you keep things quiet, and she moaned thats too hard when you live with them, so everyone instantly knew it was about me.
She then went on to accuse me of many things, including controlling her life, saying a meme she shared about a guy telling his girl not to drink and go to a party was about me as im the same type of person, that I tried giving her a curfew, that shes not allowed any friends over and not allowed a life, just because I dont have friends to have over. Then she still carried on saying I kick off when she has two or more friends over saying its a house party (umm loud music, drink, and more at 2-3am, when I have work next day, who would not kick off?! Is that actually unreasonable? I said its fine if they kept the noise down). The truth is, she has alienated ALL her other friends, none of whome want anything more to do with her except this ex-girlfriend.
She also claimed on sunday she was asleep, in bed from 10pm, on her own as was tired, and was the one to leave the door open. Even the ex-girlfriend said she wasnt actually there sunday, my flatmate brought TWO guys back to the flat for sex! And then she still kept going on about how the ex-girlfriend is innocent, so how dare I try and ban her from coming to the flat (yet the ones I spoke too and she fell out with last year are still banned?)..
I was going to stay quiet, but had to reply to the claims, so started staying how I never put a curfew on her, or said she can never have friends over etc..all ive ever said is can she please not have parties when im in work next morning, and up till this weekend, had never said noone was welcome!! I also mentioned how she laughed about the message I sent to her gran as she knew about it, and encouraged me to send the 2nd after she had PUNCHED the girl in the face that night..she blamed that on drink of course..
Basically, refuting everything she was saying..funnily enough, she took down the entire post after that..but needless to say we've not spoken again since..basically, bar 30 mins we made up and were chatting tuesday night, ive not spoken too her calm or sober since last thursday!

Tonight, she left her ipad here, unlocked, and with access to facebook messenger. I decided to have a look on it while she was in work, to see if she had been saying anything about me, as I dont trust her anymore. She has been speaking to the guy from friday night who punched the cat, who shes been claiming she hates and would never speak too again, and when he asked to come over for more sex, she said he's banned because I dont like him, but im probably over exaggerating. She could see the blood on the cats nose!!! He then called me a wierdo, saying that I probably want to sleep with her, to which her reply to my horror was yes, I am a wierdo, and apparently others have said that and the thought makes her violently ill, so she wants me to move out, almost asked me last night to go (but didnt), and the guy said kick me out and he'll move in, to which she replied they could turn it into a sex flat with the three of them every single night.

Knowing this, even though she hasnt said to me directly..I dont see how I can continue to live here much longer at all. Some part of me doesnt want to lose the friendship I thought we had, but then if she appears to hate and resent me this much, what choice is there? Is there even a friendship there to salvage, or am I just the meal ticket she keeps around. Its clear she chooses drug addicts and people who do nothing but sleep around. My friend says maybe she's just saying that too him to get him to sleep with her again..

I have next to no other friends. If I move back home, my independence and freedom is over. The couple of friends I do have from work, I couldnt stay out with them anymore due to busses back to my parents village..my life would be practically over..My parents when I lived home before, wouldn't allow any noise after 10pm (so no music, or tv, or pc stuff etc), I had to be back from anywhere by 10pm. They'd check my mail. They'd watch what I did on the pc..
I have social anxiety, so both moving out of home to here was a major thing, but moving back out elsewhere is also another major issue for me, which is stopping me going, and the thought of losing my supposed closest friend over the last 3 years.

I dispise this on-off girlfriend as shes managed to practically ruin yet another friendship of my flatmate, and practically ruin my life while they get to live on and off happily ever after until they catch something.
The cat's would also probably have to suffer with him coming here more, and my flatmate neglecting them as she used too before I come along.