He didn't pay for the first date...is he a cheapskate? What do I infer from this?

I assure you, you are the cheapskate for expecting him to pay for everything, perhaps you should be less concerned with how generous men are to you and more concerned with how generous you are to other people.

But I don't want to get to that point. I don't want to get emotionally attached to someone if there's already a red warning sign. Emotional investments are risky as is.

How does: I was surprised he didn't offer to pay for the first date... translate into, I expect him to pay for everything'? If you read my previous posts you would know it's just a first date thing for me.

There is no need to start name calling me just because you dislike my attitude. I do not need to be more concerned, I know I am generous as I get feedback about my generosity very often. Thanks for your time.

I think personally if you are so unhappy about having to pay half of the restaurant bill id question whether you're meeting the guy for the right reasons

It'd be cool for the guy to pay but like you said you're both students, and if it's nothing serious then I dunno why the guy would assume he's paying

If the guy was loaded then yeah it'd be different circumstances but if I was the guy and saw this student room post I'd be quite unhappy, seeing that having to pay for some of the bill was the major issue, I'd be hoping a girl I met would walk away happy and hopeful to meet again, ya know?

Not paying is definitely not an indicator of how tight he is, I am extremely reckless with my
money but I'd still be reluctant to front a bill for somebody I'm not that close to

Geez so a red flag is going halves on a date, not being funny but you sound high maintenance, not only that you looking for a family on first date would be a red warning to me.

Name calling?

lol...

Guy pay for first date: I like to know he's a generous person/ has that provider instinct.

Go halfs for the next few dates: The initial dating period can be expensive...I also don't want to feel obligated to keep seeing a guy because I feel guilty that he's shelled out a lot.

Then pay proportionally: I just think this makes the most financial sense, I don't mean split things proportionally but e.g with an ex who had a lot more money than me, he'd pay for dinner and cinema tickets and I'd pay for snacks. I would hate to actually keep tabs on who has paid for what.

Yes, you called me a cheapskate.

Just show him your OP. I'm sure he'll end it with you pretty quick and you won't have to worry about it...Who's the real cheapskate, the person happy to pay half or the person moaning about having to pay half?

I am not, 'looking for a family'. I value my time, I get asked out on a lot of dates, why would I waste both of our time if i'm able to tell it's not able to go anywhere? definitely, I am high maintenance but at the same time I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing: I have high expectations but I also expect a lot from myself in how I treat a guy and what I should bring to the relationship.

Yes, you called me a cheapskate.

I am not, 'looking for a family'. I value my time, I get asked out on a lot of dates, why would I waste both of our time if i'm able to tell it's not able to go anywhere? definitely, I am high maintenance but at the same time I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing: I have high expectations but I also expect a lot from myself in how I treat a guy and what I should bring to the relationship.

So I'm in my early 20's and find this very unusual. The only guy who I've had this before was my last ex and he was so stingy throughout our relationship it really made me feel a bit worthless to him: he had been burnt by a golddigger before however did get better when the relationship hit the six month mark. But... new guy isn't earning a six figure salary/ doesn't have family money so i don't know what his deal is.

In new guys defence: we did go to an expensive restaurant and we are both students ...however I did say I'd be happy to go somewhere cheap like pizza express. I'm also unsure if it's cultural thing.

I really like new guy, but I don't know if the not offering to pay means a. he's not in it for the long haul 2. he's a cheapskate or what. I guess why it matters is I am quite ready to settle down and I want someone to settle down who will be willing to share financially when I'm pregnant and not able to work etc but also it feels good when you're boyfriend treats you, and I like to treat them back too and it feels a bit one sided if you're the only one doing the treating.

My general approach to who pays is, 'guy pays for first date...from there on go halfs a few times, then it depends on both people's financials situations and usually contribute proportionally.'

'Abusive language or insults' I'm doing no such thing, stop being so easily offended.

You called him a cheapskate, I'm saying you are the cheapskate for expecting him to pay.

Exhibit A courtesy of MJ1012 -

We are not mind readers the fact you didn't say to him if he minded paying says it all, as someone further up said, think you got a lot to learn.

Hey your words...not hers.

She asked if he was a cheapskate...she didn't call him that. She also didn't call you anything.

Also people get offended by different things, what gives you the authority to decide who should be offended by what? People are allowed to have feelings that differ from yours...and different attitudes and opinions.

I don't agree...people are supposed to understand societal norms...whether someone agrees with them or not is a different question, and from sounds of it she didn't mind at the time.OP stop worrying so much and just enjoy dating him

Guy pay for first date: I like to know he's a generous person/ has that provider instinct.

Go halfs for the next few dates: The initial dating period can be expensive...I also don't want to feel obligated to keep seeing a guy because I feel guilty that he's shelled out a lot.

Then pay proportionally: I just think this makes the most financial sense, I don't mean split things proportionally but e.g with an ex who had a lot more money than me, he'd pay for dinner and cinema tickets and I'd pay for snacks. I would hate to actually keep tabs on who has paid for what.