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Awful situation

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Original post by Anonymous

"...I really would like to put this in the past, that being said I would prefer we don't talk about this or anything actually..."


This sounds like a fairly clear invitation to get lost so I think it's time to forget about her and move on with your life.
Original post by chikane
The thing with Facebook is i have friend requested a few and have not been rejected or accepted they have just left it pending which she might be doing? I have done the same as well. I don't see why she wouldn't add you. Also your message is fine so all you can do is wait for a reply.


Yeah, that's happened to me. When my friend sent her a message, she also added her. The pending request became "Message" only and so she couldn't add her again. She hasn't done this to me, which is curious as it could suggest she's leaving it pending till she decides what she wants to do? So considering all I've done wrong is bring it up a few times and showing her concern, which in reality isn't a bad thing right? I haven't really been pushy with her, messages have been few and far between over 3 weeks, and she hasn't really got annoyed by it.

Do you think she could reply? Or do you think she might accept the request when she's ready, and let me come to her? From a female PoV covering a male in excess amounts of blood is a big deal right, or does it depend on the males reaction?

Original post by ChancedTravels
As someone with a vagina, and a womb, I'm pretty sure she would've had a chat and maybe a quick examination and been sent on her way unless it happens again. Female sex organs are unpredictable at the best of times. The fact that you are looking up her doctor is kind of weird. You should really just stop obsessing over it and leave her be, now.


I was interested to know how much it would cost, for me it's free. For her it's £65 per visit, as she is study abroad. That's the only reason I did it, nothing weird about that surely? It's publicly accessible information. University Website > Health & Well-being Page > Doctors details in local area. I am not obsessed over it or her, it was quite a happy situation between the both of us that turned very horrific quite quickly. It's obviously not my fault right? I never forced it, and I was very gentle with her.

If I could turn back time, I wish when she took me back to hers that I just cuddled her and went to sleep. Then I wouldn't find myself in this position, but kissing always becomes sex it seems and I heavily regret it because I wish I said to her, it's best we take it slow and get to know eachother. Anyway these things clearly happen for a reason, and I should honestly stop beating myself up over it. As what's done is done.

How would you react to it?
Original post by guilbert
This sounds like a fairly clear invitation to get lost so I think it's time to forget about her and move on with your life.


There's always that, but quite frankly I've done nothing wrong. I stayed with the girl and looked after her, and even done the right thing by sticking with her. At the end of the day, we can't second guess what she's thinking? She obviously is burying her head in the sand with this, when really we should both be MATURE about it, and meet up and talk things through. But since when was that normal for 'our generation'?
Sure, you've not done anything wrong but she doesn't owe you anything either. I certainly don't know what she's thinking but it seems clear she doesn't want anything to do with you so I think you should take the hint and move on.
Original post by guilbert
Sure, you've not done anything wrong but she doesn't owe you anything either. I certainly don't know what she's thinking but it seems clear she doesn't want anything to do with you so I think you should take the hint and move on.


I've told her I'm moving on and drawing a line. I said I'd like to be friends, but as you say she owes me nothing and I'm definitely not putting my life on hold for her, not anyone.

If she decides to talk to me again, there's a reason for that. Most likely because she's being nice about it? She's obviously clearly effected by this and it's such a shame as she's my ideal type, I am now gutted I chose her to loose my v.

What a way to loose it though....
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah, that's happened to me. When my friend sent her a message, she also added her. The pending request became "Message" only and so she couldn't add her again. She hasn't done this to me, which is curious as it could suggest she's leaving it pending till she decides what she wants to do? So considering all I've done wrong is bring it up a few times and showing her concern, which in reality isn't a bad thing right? I haven't really been pushy with her, messages have been few and far between over 3 weeks, and she hasn't really got annoyed by it.

Do you think she could reply? Or do you think she might accept the request when she's ready, and let me come to her? From a female PoV covering a male in excess amounts of blood is a big deal right, or does it depend on the males reaction?


Does your friend know her well? if not then there is no reason for her to accept if yes maybe she didn't want to add her. With you she might not want to add you but she also don't want to reject you so just keep it pending until she feels like responding.
Well her last message to you was don't talk to her at all and since then she has not replied. You also asked her a question whether you both can remain friends so balls in her court to respond back.
Better to regret the things you've done than the things you wish you had :-)
Original post by chikane
Does your friend know her well? if not then there is no reason for her to accept if yes maybe she didn't want to add her. With you she might not want to add you but she also don't want to reject you so just keep it pending until she feels like responding.
Well her last message to you was don't talk to her at all and since then she has not replied. You also asked her a question whether you both can remain friends so balls in her court to respond back.


No she doesn't. So yeah I get that, I am just surprised she's keeping the door open for further contact? I am wondering if she said what she said in temper, because I didn't tell her the results of my tests there and then? Interesting isn't it, because if she got tested and I was positive, why would she have a major concern? These are her exact words to me before the message about not wanting to talk and putting this in the past.

Can you tell me what it says? Is everything ok? If you could just give me a brief summary later when you get a chance I'd really appreciate it! I'm super busy the next few days.

Does that say she never went to the doctors and was worrying or she was genuinely showing concern for me? I bet you she didn't expect me to tell her I was also a virgin, and that she was my first? That probably changes everything for her? - Sorry for the questions, I just want to know from a female perspective haha.

Original post by guilbert
Better to regret the things you've done than the things you wish you had :-)


I know, but things could have been so different. I really do regret having sex with her, I don't regret meeting her. It's so strange how we met, I saw her early in the night and really wanted to go up to her. 3 hours later, she bumped into me cuddling me and that's how we met. She came to me!!
Original post by Anonymous
No she doesn't. So yeah I get that, I am just surprised she's keeping the door open for further contact? I am wondering if she said what she said in temper, because I didn't tell her the results of my tests there and then? Interesting isn't it, because if she got tested and I was positive, why would she have a major concern? These are her exact words to me before the message about not wanting to talk and putting this in the past.

Can you tell me what it says? Is everything ok? If you could just give me a brief summary later when you get a chance I'd really appreciate it! I'm super busy the next few days.

Does that say she never went to the doctors and was worrying or she was genuinely showing concern for me? I bet you she didn't expect me to tell her I was also a virgin, and that she was my first? That probably changes everything for her? - Sorry for the questions, I just want to know from a female perspective


She said she is super busy so a chance she may reply when she is free?
Also I find it weird she was asking about your result when she never mentioned hers until her last message to you. Why should you being a virgin bother her unless she was surprised by your reaction to the blood.
Some women are complicated I would leave her be and wait for a reply.
Original post by chikane
She said she is super busy so a chance she may reply when she is free?
Also I find it weird she was asking about your result when she never mentioned hers until her last message to you. Why should you being a virgin bother her unless she was surprised by your reaction to the blood.
Some women are complicated I would leave her be and wait for a reply.


I noticed she opened it again last night. 20:53 or so but then overnight she's decided to block me completely. I guess that's closure really?

I am so upset because I really liked her and all. She's obviously made a huge deal out of this. Her loss.
Original post by Anonymous
I noticed she opened it again last night. 20:53 or so but then overnight she's decided to block me completely. I guess that's closure really?

I am so upset because I really liked her and all. She's obviously made a huge deal out of this. Her loss.


Blocked you from fb? Sorry man i guess you got your answer i don't think she wants to be friends.
You should have said all this in person about being friends not over text but then again don't think it would have helped as she did say in her texts that she don't want you talking to her.
If i'm honest you had sex and some people find it hard to just be friends after that and carry on like before unless it was casual.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
This is the main concern. Im covering myself by getting tested. I felt something abnormal, and then there was a lot of unusual bleeding to follow.

http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/977.aspx?CategoryID=118

During the situation she proper freaked out. Because it wasn't the monthly. If she hasn't been to a doctor, she's probably not told anyone and probably didn't take the morning after...

I'm hoping she goes today, but I've not heard from her. She asked me a question yesterday. I replied and she hasn't read it yet.

A doctor and three nurses told me to talk with her, but that if she doesn't respond leave her too it. I've done more than enough, but obviously if she needs me it's only kinda fair I'm there for her?

Thing is I'm deeply concerned about her. She obviously appreciates it, it's just this whole thing is weird and I'm not sure how she's reacting. Because it's awkward because of the embarrassment.

But I'm being a gentleman about it.

Yes. This is very weird.
Original post by chikane
Blocked you from fb? Sorry man i guess you got your answer i don't think she wants to be friends.
You should have said all this in person about being friends not over text but then again don't think it would have helped as she did say in her texts that she don't want you talking to her.
If i'm honest you had sex and some people find it hard to just be friends after that and carry on like before unless it was casual.


Yeah she's blocked me, but she didn't do this straight away. I noticed the request was still there at 2130 and she'd re-read at 20:53 so I really cannot understand why she's done this? I am seriously thinking it was her first time, and it's really taking it's toll on her. I've just asked my nurse friend and this is what she said "Unfortunately there is no way she has been tested and got the results that quickly, it's an impossibility for the tests that would be involved" Remember she said "I'm perfectly healthy. I sure hope that's your case as well but if not, it shouldn't be because of me." so either she's admitting she's a virgin or she's lying that she went to the doctors, or probably both.

It's obviously a negative thing to her, that's the reason she doesn't want to talk about it. But mostly 9/10 a one night stand is never recoverable is because the guy doesn't really care about how the girl feels, I care about how she feels and if she regrets what happened then I am really sorry. I regret it massively, because not only did I really like her but I also found my ideal type. It's just a shame it ended on this bad term.

I hate to think what she's going through with this, but I was always willing to help. The fact she took a day to delete me must have meant she's thinking about it?



Original post by Profesh
Yes. This is very weird.


What do you mean? What happened? It was very weird.
Original post by Anonymous
What do you mean? What happened? It was very weird.


That you've turned a one-night stand into War And Peace.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah she's blocked me, but she didn't do this straight away. I noticed the request was still there at 2130 and she'd re-read at 20:53 so I really cannot understand why she's done this? I am seriously thinking it was her first time, and it's really taking it's toll on her. I've just asked my nurse friend and this is what she said "Unfortunately there is no way she has been tested and got the results that quickly, it's an impossibility for the tests that would be involved" Remember she said "I'm perfectly healthy. I sure hope that's your case as well but if not, it shouldn't be because of me." so either she's admitting she's a virgin or she's lying that she went to the doctors, or probably both.

It's obviously a negative thing to her, that's the reason she doesn't want to talk about it. But mostly 9/10 a one night stand is never recoverable is because the guy doesn't really care about how the girl feels, I care about how she feels and if she regrets what happened then I am really sorry. I regret it massively, because not only did I really like her but I also found my ideal type. It's just a shame it ended on this bad term.

I hate to think what she's going through with this, but I was always willing to help. The fact she took a day to delete me must have meant she's thinking about it?


I thought you both were a couple? how long have you known her? Also what was her reaction after you saw the blood? i agree with your friend she probably didn't go but she probably felt embarrassed about it all and didn't expect a one night stand to turn out to be so much hassle maybe?
if i was her and i really liked you and this happened i wouldn't have wanted to end things but her reply to you telling you to not to talk to her and blocking you says she has thought about things and has decided to cut you out but your response saying you wanted to remain friends, she might think all you wanted was sex and nothing more both of your responses suggested to move on and forget this so looks like it fizzled out.
You can still call her? and ask her to be honest if you have upset her etc get closure? to help you move on with your life cause i don't know whats going through her head, nor do i know your history with her or her feelings.
Original post by chikane

You can still call her? and ask her to be honest if you have upset her etc get closure? to help you move on with your life cause i don't know whats going through her head, nor do i know your history with her or her feelings.


This is bad advice. Move on - you won't even remember this ever happened in a few years.
Original post by ChancedTravels
This is bad advice. Move on - you won't even remember this ever happened in a few years.


I didn't mean call her for chit chat just to get an answer from her whether he upset her etc to help him move on.
Original post by chikane
I thought you both were a couple? how long have you known her? Also what was her reaction after you saw the blood? i agree with your friend she probably didn't go but she probably felt embarrassed about it all and didn't expect a one night stand to turn out to be so much hassle maybe?
if i was her and i really liked you and this happened i wouldn't have wanted to end things but her reply to you telling you to not to talk to her and blocking you says she has thought about things and has decided to cut you out but your response saying you wanted to remain friends, she might think all you wanted was sex and nothing more both of your responses suggested to move on and forget this so looks like it fizzled out, You can still call her? and ask her to be honest if you have upset her etc get closure? to help you move on with your life cause i don't know whats going through her head, nor do i know your history with her or her feelings.


Not that long unfortunately, she wasn't even drunk at the time and she remembers it very well and everything about me. If anything I was more drunk than her, and she was pretty much in control of the situation. We saw each-other on the Friday, then into the Saturday morning she came up to me and cuddled me. That's how we met. When I told her to stop and noticed the bleeding; Reaction was: Shocked, scared, crying and didn't know what to do. I did the best for her, I stayed with her and kept reassuring her she'll be okay, I removed her sheet and got a blanket for her to keep her warm, I gave her a bottle of water and tucked her in all of which was in front of her room-mate too.

It really has mythed me what caused that bleeding. But she really is dealing with this in the most immature way possible, I am not - I am willing to be there for her in a supportive way and talk to her face to face, and not necessarily about what happened.

Original post by Profesh
That you've turned a one-night stand into War And Peace.


Not my fault. She's acting so immature about this, I don't even think she's the one night stand kinda girl. Neither am I, but what a blood nightmare!
Original post by chikane
I didn't mean call her for chit chat just to get an answer from her whether he upset her etc to help him move on.


I do have her number yes, but I am sure she doesn't remember giving it to me. Neither do I remember her doing it, but it's in my phone - she probably did this during the journey back to hers.

+ Someone said to me yesterday. I know the reason this happened. It's because your a nice guy, and it had to be you. It was for her benefit that it wasn't a jerk.

RE the everything happens for a reason. I can't think of anything else other than she might now be beating herself up for pushing me away?
Original post by Anonymous
Not that long unfortunately, she wasn't even drunk at the time and she remembers it very well and everything about me. If anything I was more drunk than her, and she was pretty much in control of the situation. We saw each-other on the Friday, then into the Saturday morning she came up to me and cuddled me. That's how we met. When I told her to stop and noticed the bleeding; Reaction was: Shocked, scared, crying and didn't know what to do. I did the best for her, I stayed with her and kept reassuring her she'll be okay, I removed her sheet and got a blanket for her to keep her warm, I gave her a bottle of water and tucked her in all of which was in front of her room-mate too.

It really has mythed me what caused that bleeding. But she really is dealing with this in the most immature way possible, I am not - I am willing to be there for her in a supportive way and talk to her face to face, and not necessarily about what happened.



Not my fault. She's acting so immature about this, I don't even think she's the one night stand kinda girl. Neither am I, but what a blood nightmare!


So you met once then this incident happened? I will be honest if yes then she does not owe you anything you are a stranger to her.
Yes it was kind of you to look after her i mean other guys might have just ran off never to be seen again. You tried to help her she isn't listening there is nothing else you can do but hope she sorts herself out.

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