Does anyone else feel like this after a date with no physical activity?

If there's no kiss or anything more do you feel a bit disappointed? I mean we are well past the first few dates, we've done more than kiss but on Saturday it was like I was hanging out with my friend. I'm not entirely sure if he is being cautious and trying to slow things down or.....

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Reply 1

AMaster1

Um... I'd say by date three, there should be physical contact, but that's me personally... Some are by date five... But if there's limited by date five, they're probably trying to distance...

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Reply 2

Smack

Volunteer Team

Original post by Anonymous

I certainly understand that you would feel disappointed. Do you feel that he may not be attracted to you if he isn't making moves? Especially if you've already done more than kiss. It's a tough one.

Reply 3

silverbolt

Original post by Anonymous

Sometimes its not so much a sprint but a walk. These things can and do take time.

Slow down and see where it goes. He may be cautious, building himself up by getting to know you.

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

lol ive been dating much older guy for 14 months on and off. Still no sex as i dont like it im frigid and because of this it puts him off too.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

lol ive been dating much older guy for 14 months on and off. Still no sex as i dont like it im frigid and because of this it puts him off too.

To me it sounds like you aren't comfortable around him for some reason. I was the same whilst dating this guy last year, I thought I was frigid. Fast forward to now I am not like that with the new guy I'm dating.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by silverbolt

Sometimes its not so much a sprint but a walk. These things can and do take time.

Slow down and see where it goes. He may be cautious, building himself up by getting to know you.

I understand that. I guess it's better than him trying to jump me every minute, I just hope this doesn't mean he is losing interest.

Reply 7

C_tinie_D

You mean you've kissed already but this particular date there was no physical contact? At all?

Reply 8

karl pilkington

why don't you just ask him? Just say can you finger me or something

Reply 9

mkap

i guess id feel disappointed if a guy didn't make a move to kiss me too after a few dates...

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by Smack

I certainly understand that you would feel disappointed. Do you feel that he may not be attracted to you if he isn't making moves? Especially if you've already done more than kiss. It's a tough one.

Yes I do feel like that. I felt like I was holding on thinking something would go down and it didn't. Partially my fault of course, I just don't tend to lead unless he makes a move then I get really comfortable and we take it from there. I guess this could be a good thing, granted he isn't losing interest and just wants to go at a decent pace.

Original post by AMaster1

I get what you're saying. There has been physical contact though on other occasions, this time around there wasn't any. It just got me thinking about whether he's losing interest or something.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by mkap

i guess id feel disappointed if a guy didn't make a move to kiss me too after a few dates...

Same lol. He's made a move before. It just didn't happen the last time we chilled together. I thought our behaviour was a little weird.

Original post by karl pilkington

why don't you just ask him? Just say can you finger me or something

Lool. I thought asking would be a awkward. I'm used to these things happening gradually.

Original post by C_tinie_D

You mean you've kissed already but this particular date there was no physical contact? At all?

There was the odd friendly touching, hand holding but that was it.

Reply 12

C_tinie_D

Maybe he lost interest or maybe he was waiting for you to make a move? Just jump on him and everything will be much more clear :wink:

Reply 13

karl pilkington

Original post by Anonymous

Same lol. He's made a move before. It just didn't happen the last time we chilled together. I thought our behaviour was a little weird.

Lool. I thought asking would be a awkward. I'm used to these things happening gradually.

There was the odd friendly touching, hand holding but that was it.

Did you want him to though?

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by karl pilkington

Did you want him to though?

Yes

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by C_tinie_D

Maybe he lost interest or maybe he was waiting for you to make a move? Just jump on him and everything will be much more clear :wink:

Lool. Hopefully it's option B. I'll give it a go :smile:

Reply 16

Smack

Volunteer Team

Yeah make a move next time and see how he reacts. It might have been an off-day, or he might have lost interest. We can't really tell from here.

Reply 17

AMaster1

Personally, when I was with my last boyfriend, we'd made physical contact every time we met, be it date or not... And the great thing is, it didn't have to be romantic contact, just physical contact between us showed that that was enough... I mean, sometimes, we'd head to Waterloo to sit on the grass, watch the London Eye and just talk through things. He'd sit on my coat and I'd lay my head in his lap and we'd just sit there for hours sometimes without realising that any time had gone by. Of course, we'd do all the basic things like hold hands and kiss and hug and those cute smiles across the room... We'd talk all day and all night. We'd just love life.

If you're not comfortable with just physical touching for a while and you think that it has to be romantic, pick another guy. I was with XYZ for five months and we were amazing. We both still think about the happy memories and cherish them... My point is, if silence isn't comfortable, it's just silence. If it's just silence, then it's just silence. There's no chemistry in the silence, which means that there is just awkwardness, which there shouldn't be... Not if you really like each other. If you're away from him, do you find yourself constantly thinking of all the other things that you could be doing with him, all the other places you could be seeing, how a walk on the beach would be so much better if it were hand in hand... That's love

Reply 18

shakib.r

Original post by Anonymous

Me and my girlfriend hugged and made out in the first date sooo ...

Reply 19

silverbolt

Original post by C_tinie_D

You mean you've kissed already but this particular date there was no physical contact? At all?

it can happen, sometimes it just starts too strong and the other person gets nervous/isnt sure/worried/etc etc.

But they are still going on dates so thats a good sign.