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Is it really that bad to not invite extended family to a wedding?!

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Original post by Spock's Socks
Thanks guys, you are all right on what you say. I can't believe its still going on from last night. I wouldn't have the nerve to ask someone why I wasn't invited, let alone keep it going this long! I would only ask if my best friend or mum didn't invite me. I wouldn't expect a cousin who I never bother with to invite me but she clearly did.

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I would have thought she d have got the message from the lack of invite as asking just seems so rude.
Original post by Spock's Socks
That's another reason why I'm going to Gretna instead of just having our wedding in our hometown, its too far away for most family members to travel to so only very close immediate friends and family can make it :tongue: and there's none of this "why didn't I get invited crap" or at least not as much lol

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That sounds like a great plan, Gretna seems like a lovely place to have a wedding too:smile:
Original post by Airmed
It's the best plan methinks.:h:


Indeed, makes it about you and your partner and you can still have all the usual wedding stuff if you wanted to :smile:
Reply 23
Original post by claireestelle
I would have thought she d have got the message from the lack of invite as asking just seems so rude.


Yeah exactly but nope, she's always been very upfront and not in a good way. Its two months today to the wedding and I was going to make a status about if because obviously I'm excited but she'll just write something sarcastic probably. I want to delete her but her dad is my Gran's brother and he doesn't keep well so FB is the only way to see how he's doing so I can pass that onto my gran because surprise, surprise - they never pick up the phone and call my gran. She's the one that does all the calling.

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Original post by Spock's Socks
Yeah exactly but nope, she's always been very upfront and not in a good way. Its two months today to the wedding and I was going to make a status about if because obviously I'm excited but she'll just write something sarcastic probably. I want to delete her but her dad is my Gran's brother and he doesn't keep well so FB is the only way to see how he's doing so I can pass that onto my gran because surprise, surprise - they never pick up the phone and call my gran. She's the one that does all the calling.

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I think if they won't make the effort to pick up the phone you shouldn't make the effort for them yourself.
"You can't choose your family but you can choose your friends"

Just because that cousin is family does not mean that she's entitled to everything that happens, especially if you're not even in communication. Likes on Facebook seem to be so impersonal tbh and it's very childish of her to be making so much drama out of nothing.

I hope your mother uploads pictures on Facebook to rub more salt in the wounds.
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 26
Original post by claireestelle
I think if they won't make the effort to pick up the phone you shouldn't make the effort for them yourself.


That's exactly what I say to my gran and tell her in the nicest possible way that she's being taken for a mug if you know what I mean? But she's very soft that way and people take advantage of it and only bother with her when they need something :frown:

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Original post by Spock's Socks
That's exactly what I say to my gran and tell her in the nicest possible way that she's being taken for a mug if you know what I mean? But she's very soft that way and people take advantage of it and only bother with her when they need something :frown:

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I know what you mean, my cousins were like that with my grandad eventually he realised to not let them take advantage of him anymore and I cut my cousins out of my life and feel much better for it.
Tell your gran how rude your cousin is being, you never know hearing about her bad behaviour might make her think more about whether to bother with people like that.
I've only read the OP, but its your wedding and you get to decide who you do and dont want there.


1. Get on with the wedding, dont worry or pay her any attention.
2. If you wnat to be conciliatory, then you cna send her a short e-mail saying soemthing like sorry you were upset, but we decided as we have limited cash etc that we prefer a small wedding. To be fair on this we have only invited direct relatives and none of the extended family(assuming this is true). I know you will understand and respect out wishes etc.

Tbh I'd do 1 and wouldnt care as you have already explained once. A firend and someone you would wnat to be there is someone who wishes you the best and respects your wishes. This cousin does neither +++++++++> clear conscience..
Reply 29
Original post by claireestelle
I know what you mean, my cousins were like that with my grandad eventually he realised to not let them take advantage of him anymore and I cut my cousins out of my life and feel much better for it.
Tell your gran how rude your cousin is being, you never know hearing about her bad behaviour might make her think more about whether to bother with people like that.


Sounds like I need to do exactly what you did then. She is toxic and her daughter isn't much better. Told my Gran about what she said and she was really shocked that she had the nerve to ask but what got to her more was the fact she basically hounded my mum all last night and even today. Mum doesn't need this. She has enough stress with the wedding coming up and then dealing with my stepdad's Parkinson's.

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Original post by Spock's Socks
Sounds like I need to do exactly what you did then. She is toxic and her daughter isn't much better. Told my Gran about what she said and she was really shocked that she had the nerve to ask but what got to her more was the fact she basically hounded my mum all last night and even today. Mum doesn't need this. She has enough stress with the wedding coming up and then dealing with my stepdad's Parkinson's.

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Good idea, there sounds like no reason to keep her in your lives, i m sure you'll all be much happier having nothing to do with her :smile:
Original post by stefano865
Not at all.

I know my postman better than I know much of my family.

Just because you are related does not mean they have to be at your wedding.


I'd be pretty pissed off if my cousins didn't invite me to theirs
Original post by queen-bee
I'd be pretty pissed off if my cousins didn't invite me to theirs



You will certainly be at my wedding. :sexface:

Spoiler

I don't think it's wrong. There's no set rules as to who has to be invited to your wedding. It's your mum's big day, so she should invite who she wants, no questions asked.
Original post by stefano865
You will certainly be at my wedding. :sexface:

Spoiler



Am I going to get a special invite?!! :h:
It's strange at Arab weddings,not to have extended family. Weddings are when we splash out and just have complete fun with all our friends or family no matter how close you are or not so close
Original post by queen-bee
Am I going to get a special invite?!! :h:
It's strange at Arab weddings,not to have extended family. Weddings are when we splash out and just have complete fun with all our friends or family no matter how close you are or not so close



No. You will be the bride! :ahee:

How many kids do you want? :tongue:


The Arab weddings sound great. A real spirit of generosity and fun.

I think in Britain there is perhaps a trend right now towards more intimate weddings with close family and friends.

I guess you tend to have bigger families as well.
Original post by stefano865
No. You will be the bride! :ahee:

How many kids do you want? :tongue:


The Arab weddings sound great. A real spirit of generosity and fun.

I think in Britain there is perhaps a trend right now towards more intimate weddings with close family and friends.

I guess you tend to have bigger families as well.


What about the first man that wants to marry me?

Arabs and Italians have such huge weddings and invite loads of guests with belly dancing in Arab weddings as the main entertainment and all sorts of other stuff. There's no such thing as a 'small and intimate' wedding let's just say :mmm:
Original post by Precious Illusions
She sounds like a bitch tbh. If they were close, yeah, understand her getting upset. But they don't sound close at all so why does she even care? And the petty passive aggressive Facebook status' say it all really, I'd just ignore her.

Why do females feel the need to call other females bitches??
Reply 38
My mum and stepdad would maybe have had a bigger wedding and invited all the extended if they had money and more time to prepare for the wedding but the wedding plans have basically been rushed as my stepdads Parkinson's is getting worse plus he's starting to take full blown strokes now as opposed to mini ones that he used to always take so they need to get married and get all their finances fixed in case anything happens :frown: he has also lost a lot of confidence since his tremors are worse now and that he's lost a lot of mobility and strength down one side from his last stroke and he's starting to get confused easily and things like that so he doesn't have the confidence to be around many people, especially extended family he barely knows or has never met

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Original post by queen-bee
What about the first man that wants to marry me?

Arabs and Italians have such huge weddings and invite loads of guests with belly dancing in Arab weddings as the main entertainment and all sorts of other stuff. There's no such thing as a 'small and intimate' wedding let's just say :mmm:




Hopefully I will attend a wedding like that at some point in my life. :biggrin:

What about other traditions? Do you have bridesmaids, wedding cake sort of thing etc?

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