What do you do when you feel like you're the one always initiating all of a sudden?

This is how I feel right now. I can't seem to tell if he is purposely not making an effort to see if I will or if he just isn't interested anymore. He still responds to me fairly quickly, asks me the same questions back however I feel like I'm carrying the conversation. If I don't ask questions he isn't his usual self asking about every little detail.

Last week I asked to meet up, he agreed and was very straightforward told me when he was free. On the day he let me know he would be late hours before we were due to meet up, he checked to see when I was leaving my house and so on . So it felt as if he wanted to see me. Everything was fairly ok that day, except I've initiated everytime since then.

I mean surely if he wasn't interested he would have let me down by now? He has mentioned staying friends with some of the females he's been unsuccessful dates with and this leads me to believe that he could be trying to put me into this category.

What do I do?

Reply 1

mango peeler

don't freak out until you know how he really is, might not be a talker or something
if initiating is that big then perhaps leave him, that is an option you know, don't wait to be "categorised" in the friend zone
if he's not doing it for ya, leave. don't expect anything from anyone. you'll find yourself stuck with a loser OR dumped by the loser

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

He was never like this before via text. Before he would ask tons of questions, be flirty and so on. In person I do most of the talking and he listens.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by mango peeler

In the beginning he spoke loads more. Via text he would ask me loads of questions whereas I didn't really ask as much l. In person I take the lead in terms on conversation and he'll listen and respond.

I honestly don't mind initiating from time to time if it is reciprocated or I have no doubts the person is genuinely interested in me. When everything is up in the air I start to think they aren't that into me anymore. If this is the case, why won't he just tell me?

Reply 4

ThatOldGuy

It's a maturity thing. Don't be too frightened - He's just playing games with you. You know the 'Don't respond to texts immediately' rule, right? He's doing the same thing - Get you interested, then pull back so you have to work for his approval.

It's pretty standard pick-up etiquette for people who haven't emotionally matured and care about that sort of thing. It's supposed to get you trying to qualify yourself to him, similar to 'Negging' where he'll give back-handed compliments or playful insults to get you more attracted to him.

He'll grow up and he'll mature. He just doesn't have the self-confidence to do so at the moment. It's not you - Be patient if you like him. He's just really young.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by ThatOldGuy

Lol he's pushing 30. He does respond to my messages immediately though lol. Like I mentioned in my OP he replies quickly, he just doesn't engage in the conversation as much as he used to. That's the issue here, I feel like I carrying the conversations and I can't tell if he's just trying to drop me out or not.

What do you do when you feel like you're the one always initiating all of a sudden?

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