I can't come out

My family are seemingly okay with homosexuality but I know that once I do then I'll be treated different.

My cousin is gay and whenever we hear something about him they do get homophobic but not in like a mad catholic way - more like mimicking him because he talks a bit feminine.

Also over the years the more I'm asked have I got a girlfriend the more I end up freezing, like my body goes stiff (not in that way) it just annoys me.

I just don't want them to treat me differently as I have a lot of brothers and stuff.

I keep thinking I should live a secret life of just not ever telling them but then I just think **** them, if they don't want to know me or treat me differently then it fine.

I have thought of just doing it when I leave home.