Getting engaged at 19?

If you have never lived together then I think you are definitely rushing into things. I know you say you practically live with each other over summer but it really isn't the same thing. Seems a little pointless to me if you are not planning to get married for a long time. You may as well wait until you are ready. You can stay together without needing to have a ring to prove things.

your point is very valid, but I dont see living together as one of the criteria for engagement. I understand it creates a whole different dynamic, but we manage perfectly fine on holidays and when my parents/his parents are away. we just cannot financially live together right now.

thanks for your input, I understand where your coming from.

You asked for my views and I gave them. Don't come asking for opinions on a public forum if you are going to get offended by them when they go against your own. Why even ask if you've effectively made up your mind already?



I thought I was mature at 19, as did every other 19 year old I knew. Almost a decade later and I can assure you that we all now think differently with hindsight. I strongly suspect you will too.



I dont, and neither does anyone else here. Which again begs the question; why even ask a bunch of strangers for their opinion?




Do you want advice.. or purely for people to agree with what sounds like an already made decision?

Bad idea.

You both will change so much in the next ten years.

25-30 is definitely a better time.

what I didn't appreciate was how you began to slate my relationship

and the fact that it will never last

and thats why I dont think its fair to tell me that im not mature and im definitely not ready. yet again you do not know me and so cannot comment there.

I understand, but I don't think anyone should get married without having lived together for a while. Going on holiday is a lot different to living together. It does sound like you are sure what you want to do anyway and aren't going to be persuaded so there isn't much point any of us trying to persuade you otherwise.

Take care and best wishes

Where did I say that?



Again; where did I say that?



Your entire thread is based around asking for people's opinions on whether they think you are too young to be engaged. If people post opinions you disagree with then you cannot simply counter every time with "but you don't know me". Of course we don't know you, so we must base our opinions from our own experiences.

this is very true, do you think getting engaged would hinder us? if so how? im really curious for peoples views.

I came onto the forum pretty sure I was going to get engaged, I just wanted peoples views on the matter of getting engaged at a young age, I wasnt really asking for your opinions in order to weigh up whether I should or not, I just wanted to see why so many people are against it. .

and im not disputing that at all, im just stating that I came on here knowing I wanted to get engaged, and I was looking for peoples opinions on young engagement and my strange situation to see why so many people think its a bad idea.

i hate pointing fingers its so catty but you said that most relationships at uni dont last and that implies you have very little faith in ours.

The person you are at 30 will quite simply be in a better position to make a marriage work and last.

Bear in mind that guys are supposedly not emotionally 'grown up' until their late 20s.

It is quite common for these young marriages to fail. Hence the term 'starter marriage'.


http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/dec/14/marriage-over-blink-of-an-eye

I am very confused about what you are after......

I am very confused about what you are after......

Seems odd to ask for people's opinions on something you've already decided, but fair enough.



I did indeed say that most don't last uni and it does imply that on the basis on probability I don't think yours will last. That doesnt mean, and nor did I suggest, that it was a fact that yours would not survive.

So again, and for the last time, because you did ask for it in the OP.... My personal opinion without knowing you or your particular circumstances are that getting engaged at 19 is a bad idea because a majority of relationships do not last through university and so it would not make sense to me to be getting engaged until after you had survived the university gap.

Of course I would love for you to prove me wrong so by all means come back here in 3-4 years and quote me in this thread to rub it in about how you had an awesome time at university and cannot wait to get married to your fiancé

My view is 19 is too young to be engaged but that is my opinion, just think as a lot of people have already said, you probably least need to be living together first before thinking of engagement.

I do think 19 is quite young and if you've never lived together and you still have many years before the marriage, perhaps hold off on a full engagement? I don't know, maybe you could get semi-engaged now, like wear the ring as a necklace, then when you properly engage, once you're ready to get married (i.e. after uni and all), then put it on your finger and fully engage? Whilst I'm sure you don't think you'll find anyone else, there is always a possibility and if someone else you meet is genuinely better for you (I have no idea how but it could happen), then if you're only half engaged, it might not be as testing on the heart if you were fully engaged? And then if you don't meet anyone and it all goes to plan, it adds to the excitement that most people only get once but you can get twice?
I don't know, I can't say I have any experience other than from reading but it might be helpful? Good luck whatever you do

Maybe you should try living together without actually getting married as a 'trial'. If you can handle it, get married then, if you cant then you'll know if youre too young. Marriage isn't all lovey dovey.