The Student Room Group

HATE lectures

I'm currently struggling at university, I'm 22 and I live at home with my partner, I travel an hour and 20 minutes to university 2 days a week and do 3 modules at the moment. I transferred from a different university last term (due to having to move house) but coming into this group has been really challenging, the people are a little younger than me, they're all 18/19 and live on campus, I've attempted quite afew times to make friends although the conversation doesn't seem to go very far and I've not made any! I feel quite excluded, they all have established friendship groups already, I'm normally very confident and don't have problems chatting to people but maybe it's the slight age difference? But the people in these lectures don't seem to be interested in talking to me in the slightest! It really puts me out and makes me feel awful, I work quite a lot of hours when I'm home, so keeping up with work is hard as it is, but being completely on my own constantly at university is difficult, I feel such an outcast! I don't mind sitting on my own during lectures but doing group work in seminars is horrible, it sounds pathetic but it really gets me down having no one to talk to 2 days of the week! I'd love to have friends there (I've never struggled making friends before!) and it would make university so much more enjoyable, I'm not sure what else I can do though? I'm worried as it's starting to effect my grades as I've missed afew lectures because I can't stand being an outcast when they do group work.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm currently struggling at university, I'm 22 and I live at home with my partner, I travel an hour and 20 minutes to university 2 days a week and do 3 modules at the moment. I transferred from a different university last term (due to having to move house) but coming into this group has been really challenging, the people are a little younger than me, they're all 18/19 and live on campus, I've attempted quite afew times to make friends although the conversation doesn't seem to go very far and I've not made any! I feel quite excluded, they all have established friendship groups already, I'm normally very confident and don't have problems chatting to people but maybe it's the slight age difference? But the people in these lectures don't seem to be interested in talking to me in the slightest! It really puts me out and makes me feel awful, I work quite a lot of hours when I'm home, so keeping up with work is hard as it is, but being completely on my own constantly at university is difficult, I feel such an outcast! I don't mind sitting on my own during lectures but doing group work in seminars is horrible, it sounds pathetic but it really gets me down having no one to talk to 2 days of the week! I'd love to have friends there (I've never struggled making friends before!) and it would make university so much more enjoyable, I'm not sure what else I can do though? I'm worried as it's starting to effect my grades as I've missed afew lectures because I can't stand being an outcast when they do group work.


Hi, I'm sorry you're feeling this way but trust me, a lot of people at Uni feel like this at all ages and you're hardly an unusual age for Uni. Have you tried making friends outside of your course? Tbh personally, I'm not that talkative at lectures as I'm usually pretty tired and just want to use my energy to focus on what the lecturer is saying, which year are you in? If you're only in first year then don't worry at all, most people don't make established friendships till at least their second or third year. For now, I'd just recommend focusing on your work in class and trying to engage with people socially at Uni events :smile:

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