Asian with white boyfriend

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benj1999

The problem isn't between you guys but between as you said racial opinions; which I don't think you should let affect you both. I don't think you should walk her back to her road, Asians have this bad habit where if people see her with you they'll start talking etc, and her parents will not be impressed. I'm sorry you have to go through all of this. I don't think staying behind after Friday's looks suspicious, she can just say she's falling behind etc and she's getting stressed. Her mum seems like she would have been happy for you guys if it wasn't for the way her father reacted. Aw thank you yes she's very happy now :biggrin:

, my grandparents accepted my uncle because he later converted to Islam lol.

Yeah

thats what makes it worse... How its not between us haha. Yeah i think the whole walking to her road thing will get very risky. Yeh thats true! Because exam seasons coming up, so we will have much more work, so yeah actually! Staying behind will be believable (i hope). Oh they accepted him!? Thats great! Do you mind asking what age they started going out? And how long it sort of took to be accepted

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Reply 41

Eternalflames

Original post by benj1999

It actually sounds immature or something, but we both truly believe we will last... I seriously would never ever date someone who I think i wouldn't last with, especially at this stage where i'm stressed with a levels etc, and i know she feels the same. Yeah i just hope we can carry on as 'friends' in their eyes! Because yeah.. That last bit really cant happen 😭 I hope pretending we're 'friends' isnt a bad thing... I know its not ideal but i honestly don't know what else to do. I hope people don't view me as a bad person.

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You won't be viewed as a bad person, not at all my lovely :h:

. A lot of Asian girls with boyfriends do this and hide it until they're old enough/ready to tell their parents. If you truly feel you will last long then I wish you both the best xx

Reply 42

Z1228

Would you ever consider converting or anything? I mean I don't think you should have to but I know with a lot of Asian families that's the only way they accept relationships

Reply 43

murakamami

Original post by benj1999

Yeah

Yeah so I do think the study sessions will be believable. They started going out when they were about 20 and got married at 27. It took them pretty long due to there being a clash between both families; because my uncle came from a family of Jehovah's witnesses and my auntie, Muslims.

Reply 44

Hirsty97

Yeah, when I was 16 I was in your position and her parents made us break up

it was my first gf too :/

Reply 45

benj1999

Original post by whorace

I suggested a compromise, talk to the father and ask him what bothers him, if he wants to her focus on her studies then break up with her temporarily, if not and he is just a racist then by all means go ahead, but I sincerely doubt he will ever magically come to his senses and agree with you, especially since to do so you would have to lie behind his back. And I had to laugh at a 16 year old lecturing me on relationships, it is this sort of attitude that makes her father want an Asian instead of a white British liberal who has absolutely no respect for elders or experience.

By all means, don't break up with her and get her to run off with you, i'm sure you're more than mature enough to provide for her better than her family, and you will permanently happy and this won't just be a quick relationship.

Hm when did I lecture you? 'The sort of attitude that makes her father want an Asian instead of a white'... ? Okay.. Well put yourself in my shoes. I'm sorry that you can be easily swayed, and you would be willing to end your relationship because of others, but we aren't. Ive posted this for some help, not to be told that i have absolutely no respect for elders. I have respect for every age group, but no, I have less respect for people who live in 2016 but are still disagreeing with interracial relationships. If you think i have no respect for elders, then cool. Because i know for a fact thats not true. Me, and my girlfriend. Both of us, aren't willing to break up because of race. Tbh you have no right saying a few of the things you've said, about respect and stuff. I would literally try and accept any sort of advice, even if some people disagree with hiding the relationship. Some of my friends disagree with hiding it, and i respect their opinions. But don't say i have no respect for elders, because thats far from the truth believe it or not.

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Reply 46

benj1999

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(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 47

YourBoy34

Lol, the truth is her parents control her life and there is no way around it. They aren't ever going to disown her and all that ********, like cmon...its all a threat. None of this really lies in your hands. she has two choices to make bro, she tells her parents and takes the beating and comments from her family for a while and refused to break up with you because what are they really going to do? I mean if her parents didnt want her to go out with white guys then maybe england isnt for them lool. Or you ride out the next year and bit keeping it on the down low and then when you're at uni all is blessed. Anything can happen but say somehow you end up marrying this girl at some point (Your pretty young so chances are slim lol but you never know) then she can drop the bombshell then! Im an asian boy my parents arnt as bad as hers, I've beeen out with white girls and my parents sort of just like okay...just never let me do stuff in our house set a couple rules. If all still goes tits up, give up, end the relationship aint worth the hassle son, her parents control her life may as well let them marry her off too! See how happy she is then!

TLDR Asian parents are a waste of time; lie and/or just be a dick and do what you want enjoy your life or let them control your life and end up studying 7 years in medicine when you dont even enjoy it lol

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 48

benj1999

Original post by Eternalflames

You won't be viewed as a bad person, not at all my lovely :h:

. A lot of Asian girls with boyfriends do this and hide it until they're old enough/ready to tell their parents. If you truly feel you will last long then I wish you both the best xx

Hmmm yeah true! Okay i hope not! Yeah i really do! Thank you so much for your help :smile:

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Reply 49

benj1999

Original post by Z1228

Would you ever consider converting or anything? I mean I don't think you should have to but I know with a lot of Asian families that's the only way they accept relationships

Yeah I actually would! I mean its not ideal, i'm not even religious at all within Christianity, but I mean I would if that would help!

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Reply 50

Eternalflames

Original post by benj1999

Hmmm yeah true! Okay i hope not! Yeah i really do! Thank you so much for your help :smile:

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My pleasure, I really do hope it all works out :smile:

Reply 51

Zenarthra

Original post by benj1999

I actually entirely agree with you.. But from both our opinions, if we like eachother, we shouldn't let race get in the way at all. Even if the dad doesn't agree with it. We just hope that over time he will agree with it, as age also may be a big factor. I fully do understand where he's coming from, because it wants to keep his family within the asian culture etc.. But it is 2016 and that shouldn't matter now, it does, but it shouldn't. I don't actually know if speaking to him will help, as i'm not sure he would even allow our relationship at this age anyway tbh! It just seems unfair to break it all off, because of parents

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