The Student Room Group

Boy keeps staring and it's driving me nuts

We all do a bit of looking if we see someone we like, that's perfectly normal. I do it myself. But this boy in uni keeps staring at me, and not only does it make me a little uncomfortable, but it's getting on my nerves.

It started off in September, where we'd both be waiting for the same train to uni. Out of the corner of my eye I could just see him looking at me. Didn't really bother me at first, but he does it every single time. When you're being watched constantly it makes you a little self-conscious you know? And every time I'll board the train, he's always waiting behind me to get on the same carriage. A couple of times I'd even go towards another carriage to see if he'd follow and low and behold, he does.

And then, I'd occasionally see him in the uni library. And the same thing, every time, he'd stare. I was recently sat on the computer in the library and he was a few rows in front, and he'd frequently turn in his chair to glance back at me. Before I was sat facing him a few rows down, and he'd be craning his neck in his seat to look at me. It's distracting. And now I swear I'm seeing him more and more frequently in the library. I work in the library in the mornings and I swear it's getting to the point where more and more he's there too. Staring as I pass him.

And now when I catch him staring, he gives this ingratiating big smile, and it really annoys me. I just look away straight away, but I'm wondering whether he just thinks I'm shy. I don't want to be rude and frown at him, but at the same time this is getting pretty annoying. He probably thinks I'm into him too because I occasionally glance to see if he's still staring...Am I overreacting TSR or would this slightly annoy you too?

He's not ugly, but this behaviour just makes him unattractive and borderline creepy.

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I guess it would annoy me too. Have you thought about telling him OP?
Reply 2
Original post by ravioliyears
I guess it would annoy me too. Have you thought about telling him OP?


I don't think I could cope with the awkward consequences of that! I have been tempted though.
Original post by Anonymous
I don't think I could cope with the awkward consequences of that! I have been tempted though.


There's nothing awkward about it.

A lot of guys at my sixth form do that to me, but I'm a bit stupid and decide to put my middle finger up instead of telling them its uncomfortable.
Original post by Anonymous
We all do a bit of looking if we see someone we like, that's perfectly normal. I do it myself. But this boy in uni keeps staring at me, and not only does it make me a little uncomfortable, but it's getting on my nerves.

It started off in September, where we'd both be waiting for the same train to uni. Out of the corner of my eye I could just see him looking at me. Didn't really bother me at first, but he does it every single time. When you're being watched constantly it makes you a little self-conscious you know? And every time I'll board the train, he's always waiting behind me to get on the same carriage. A couple of times I'd even go towards another carriage to see if he'd follow and low and behold, he does.

And then, I'd occasionally see him in the uni library. And the same thing, every time, he'd stare. I was recently sat on the computer in the library and he was a few rows in front, and he'd frequently turn in his chair to glance back at me. Before I was sat facing him a few rows down, and he'd be craning his neck in his seat to look at me. It's distracting. And now I swear I'm seeing him more and more frequently in the library. I work in the library in the mornings and I swear it's getting to the point where more and more he's there too. Staring as I pass him.

And now when I catch him staring, he gives this ingratiating big smile, and it really annoys me. I just look away straight away, but I'm wondering whether he just thinks I'm shy. I don't want to be rude and frown at him, but at the same time this is getting pretty annoying. He probably thinks I'm into him too because I occasionally glance to see if he's still staring...Am I overreacting TSR or would this slightly annoy you too?

He's not ugly, but this behaviour just makes him unattractive and borderline creepy.


So just talk to him then, whats the big deal?
Unless he's creepy.
Reply 5
give him the death stare

Spoiler

Reply 6
Original post by ravioliyears
There's nothing awkward about it.

A lot of guys at my sixth form do that to me, but I'm a bit stupid and decide to put my middle finger up instead of telling them its uncomfortable.



That's the thing though, it's socially acceptable to an extent to do that as a sixth former. But I'm in my final year of uni, I'm 23 this year. It's just quite immature.
Reply 7
Original post by Zenarthra
So just talk to him then, whats the big deal?
Unless he's creepy.


Because I don't know the guy, he's not on my course, he's probably not in my year.

I can't go up to someone and say "stop staring please", it's not very nice and plus it'll make me feel very uncomfortable.
Reply 8
You have to realise that you have to be looking at him to know he's looking at you. So you're looking at him for the same amount of time or longer to know that he is looking at you so much. He is probably creeped out too.
Reply 9
If this was in a night out it'd be a completely different story, I would obviously confront him then.
Original post by J_W-x
You have to realise that you have to be looking at him to know he's looking at you. So you're looking at him for the same amount of time or longer to know that he is looking at you so much. He is probably creeped out too.


Have you not been blessed with peripheral vision? Or you only aware of what's in your focal vision? I'm pretty sure that's a condition.
Original post by Anonymous
That's the thing though, it's socially acceptable to an extent to do that as a sixth former. But I'm in my final year of uni, I'm 23 this year. It's just quite immature.


What would be immature is if you did what I did lool. But, it isn't immature if you approach him and kindly ask him to stop. It doesn't matter what age you are really. If you find something uncomfortable, you find it uncomfortable. Even women older than you are must feel the same way.
Original post by Anonymous
Because I don't know the guy, he's not on my course, he's probably not in my year.

I can't go up to someone and say "stop staring please", it's not very nice and plus it'll make me feel very uncomfortable.


Spark up a convo.
"Hey, I'm sure I've seen you somewhere, weren't you getting the train at the start of the year"
He'll probs say "YEAHHH OMGG YEAH"
"wow what a small world, what you studying?"
"MID WIFERY"
"Inabit"
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 13
Original post by Anonymous
Have you not been blessed with peripheral vision? Or you only aware of what's in your focal vision? I'm pretty sure that's a condition.


You can't tell if someone is looking directly at you through your peripheral vision, you seem paranoid and if you *THINK* he's looking at you you will assume that he is.
Original post by swirly
He probably masturbates to the thought of you


Didn't you do that at Taylors concert bro?
Reply 15
Original post by trapking
Didn't you do that at Taylors concert bro?


imagine thinking that was even a secret
Original post by J_W-x
You can't tell if someone is looking directly at you through your peripheral vision, you seem paranoid and if you *THINK* he's looking at you you will assume that he is.


Yes you can pal, i have A1 peripheral vision mate.
Original post by J_W-x
You have to realise that you have to be looking at him to know he's looking at you. So you're looking at him for the same amount of time or longer to know that he is looking at you so much. He is probably creeped out too.


That's why he keeps grinning at her now? Lol.

OP, I would go up to him and ask him what his deal is. You could try and wait this out, see if he becomes disinterested, but since he hasn't stopped since September, I don't think he's planning on stopping anytime soon. Confrontation can be uncomfortable, but it's probably the best course of action right now. He might take the fact that you haven't confronted him despite noticing his staring as a sign that you're interested or cool with it? Just let him know straight up that you're tired of the starting and how uncomfortable it makes you feel, and hopefully he'll get the hint and quit it. Good luck x
Honestly, you have the right or tell someone this is definitely creepy. If he even kept glancing at you it wouldn't be as bad but keeping an unmoving fixation on you is weird. Let your family and friends know and if it is making you really uncomfortable let your Uni know
Reply 19
Original post by trapking
:lol:


who do u ship

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